Hear the story of how one woman took control over her health and fertility and took home her baby after four years trying to conceive.
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See the full transcript below.
Hello, everyone. I am having an issue with Facebook to start my live. It just crashed and told me my live video ended. Let me just restart this so I can do this live. We’re going to do a story of hope today. Okay. What the hell is going on? Let me go back to my Facebook channel and try to start all over again. Let’s see. Live video. Hello, hello, hello. So it’s a story of hope. She was trying for four years. Did some fertility treatments before she met me, was working with another acupuncturist before she met me and then worked with me from 2018 until current present. I saw her this week in the clinic and she is 32 weeks pregnant. So I’m going to give you the whole scoop on the things we did, what we changed.
Again, she started seeing me at the age of 31. So this is one of those cases where it’s not an age thing, but something wasn’t working. Let’s see. I just want to hit go live now. I’m just going to do story of … We can change the title later. Story of hope. Finally pregnant after four years of trying to conceive. Camera issue. Right. Okay. So sorry, guys. Facebook might just … Unable to find camera. What the hell? Okay. Sorry, guys. I might have to just ignore this right now, but you know me. I can’t let things go. Let’s just see. I was just live using Facebook, so I don’t know what in the heck …
We’re going to get into it. It’s a great story because I think we learn a lot about nutrition in this story, about digestive health. She had some parasites that needed to be treated. It was a pretty … Yeah. So this is not working. Facebook is not working. Okay. We will load it to Facebook at a later date. I’m going to keep this open because I need it. Okay. We’re just going to get into it and then, Beth, we can upload to Facebook at some other time.
So she came to me … Sorry. Age 32 in 2013. She had been doing acupuncture with someone else for about four months. She had unexplained fertility challenges. She had done two rounds … Oh, she did three pills of Clomid one cycle and then stopped. It did not work for her. She never even ovulated on it. The doctor basically told her she probably was in premature ovarian failure. It was just a terrible experience for her, so she just never went back to the fertility clinic because they just really made her feel terrible and ashamed.
She did yoga regularly, vinyasa. She had good sleep, about seven and a half hours of sleep, although come to find out it wasn’t as good actually as it could have been. She’d submitted blood work. Her B12 was a little low when I met her. Her TSH was a tad higher than I wanted it to be. She had little signs of inflammation. Her eosinophils were high. Her glucose was high. Let’s see. Then she submitted some other … I just want to read the rest of my paperwork. Sorry. I was going through this and it all got flipped around.
She was typically eating eggs, yogurt, leftovers, chicken, steak, broccoli, brussel sprouts, peanut butter, salsa, nuts. Her major emotions were happiness and frustration. She dealt with headaches, migraines, acne, cold hands and feet, feeling too cold in general. She had menstrual cramps. She had a regular menstruation. She had spotting before her period. Her cycles would go from 23 to 53 days. So she had very irregular cycles. She was hoping to conceive naturally. She had a great relationship with her husband. They’ve been together for a long time.
She came to me. She went off birth control. She was on birth control for several years. She was on the NuvaRing for 10 years and when she went off it, then her cycles just started getting really irregular. So 36-day cycle, 31, 40, 27, 22, 41, 37. Right before she saw me, she said … She sent me this breakdown. “I’m 32 years old. My husband is 33. I was on NuvaRing for 10 years before I stopped using it. My husband and I began trying to conceive in June 2016. After stopping birth control, I had three 90-day cycles until October. Birth control ruined my life. I spent almost a year waiting to have a normal cycle and even now I’m not normal. My cycles range from 22 to 53 days. I went to my gyno and then an RE and no one cared about my 90-day cycles. I was determined to fix them myself, which I did by drinking raspberry leaf tea and taking supplements. I got my first regular cycle immediately following that.
Part of me wonders if my cycle even though it’s shorter is still messed up, which is why I’m not pregnant. To me, it’s obvious my body is telling me it’s not happy. I also start spotting three to four days before my period and my luteal phase is only 11 days long. All doctors I see say this is fine. I do believe I can get pregnant. I just think my body is messed up and no doctors will help me. I don’t want to go back to the doctor because they just want to give me Clomid, which is a band aid. They will force my body to do something it isn’t ready and I want to get pregnant. How can I get pregnant and put my body through all those procedures if my body isn’t ready? I want my body to be accepting of a pregnancy and have it make the choice when it is ready.”
She was seen in acupuncture. She was on some herbs and then she was taking some different supplements, [inaudible 00:06:51]. She was getting severe stomachaches from the pre-natals, so she stopped them. Then she was on ubiquinol and acai and then she wanted me to know, “I’m super lucky. I’ve been with my husband for 15 years and he’s my best friend. So happy marriage is what keeps me afloat. We grew up with hardly anything and both our parents raised us themselves. Now we make good money in New York City and we waited to start trying because we wanted to be more financially stable.”
Okay. So that’s kind of a little background. Again, 32. She had been seeing an acupuncturist for four months. When she met me, she had recently given up alcohol and gluten, which she hadn’t prior. She started out eating bone broth. Her mom has rheumatoid arthritis and Raynaud’s disease, which I thought was significant because those are autoimmune conditions. Like I said, she spots before her period. Ultrasound showed mild PCOS, a bunch of follicles that aren’t developing. Her weight was on the lower side. She was 125 and she’s probably like 5’6″, 5’7″, so I thought her BMI was a little low.
Her period cycle, day one, red with clots, stringy, mucousey with red globs. Changes her super three to four times and then a regular every three to four hours. It tapers and is gone. She gets left-sided pain with ovulation and her nipples get really sore. Headaches with ovulation and her period and let’s see. She was doing full fat organic dairy. She was waiting an hour and a half between waking and eating, which is not a good thing. She had been off gluten for one week when I met her. She told me at this point she’s definitely had 12 valid cycles of trying to conceive. So mind you, she’s had these long cycles. So it was probably over a year and a half that she had 12 cycles that she really did try to conceive and felt like she nailed the timing, not getting pregnant. Mind you, again, 32.
Let’s see. Also cramping. Where is that? Okay. So I mentioned I wanted her to get progesterone tested six days after ovulation. Like I said, nipples hurt, breast tenderness with ovulation. Then she starts spotting and then she gets … Oh, a very painful cycle day one. Again, she was on herbs from another acupuncturist when she came to me. She’d just had a cycle day 25 ovulation. So she was set to have like a 40-day cycle. She has some acne she’s concerned about. Initially, I just put her on … I added [inaudible 00:09:52], bone broth, vital proteins, collagen peptides, Dr. Ron’s liver, smoothie recipes. I gave her some ghee.
I wrote in quotes, “This birth control ruined my life,” statement because I thought it was a really … I could sense there was a lot of anger there and I wanted to make sure that we got to it and worked through it. So then I see her and then she starts seeing me in the clinic for acupuncture. She basically is going to alternate between me and the other acupuncturist who is also in New York City, which I do all the time and am perfectly fine with being the alternate and seeing my associates elsewhere. Then they see me when I’m in the clinic or if they see other acupuncturists, it’s perfectly fine.
She was telling me she was having a really bad stomachache and she had had a milkshake and was in a lot of pain. So I told her that maybe we should consider removing dairy. She said bone broth was the only thing that was settling her stomach. We added in probiotics. We tried to remove dairy. She was resistant at first. She was having migraines. We talked a little bit about beliefs. She got her progesterone tested. It was low. It was a nine six days post-ovulation, so we got her to get progesterone prescribed and I told her to start taking it.
Then she started eating more regularly, realized she couldn’t go more than three hours without food. Bone broth is “saving my life.” She was cycle day 13 when I saw her. I switched up her herbs and we were talking about her beliefs. She was doing one of my programs at the time. I think my yes program was running, so she was really involved in reworking her belief systems. By the second month of me seeing her, she had her earliest ever ovulation on cycle day 20. So we changed the herbs. We adjusted her diet, got her eating more regularly, got her on supplements that her body could actually use and absorb because she was on the Rainbow Light stuff and at the time … They might have changed it now, but back then, it was still with [inaudible 00:12:23]. It was folic acid and it had builders and binders. As we come to find out, years working together and she does … My body really died and the purified. She has all sorts of food intolerances. We really helped her figure out the exact right diet for her over the years.
So this basically continues on for about a year, where we have fairly regulated her cycles. We knew exactly what ovulation looks like for her. Then her period comes. Now there’s no more cramps. She’s starting to have a 14-day luteal phase. No more migraines and she’s having earlier ovulations. So this continues basically for like a year. Earlier ovulations, like cycle day 20, cycles are super consistent, but we’re still not getting pregnant.
At one point during this year, we eventually get her to go grain-free and do sprouted if she’s going to do any nuts. Her skin was getting better at this point, so now we’re like four months into working together. Skin starts to clear up. She is trying to have more fun with her life. They decide to start traveling more. They were putting everything on hold, waiting to get pregnant, so they wouldn’t plan big trips because what if she was pregnant? Where could they go? They really enjoyed traveling. So they started getting back to living their life and so had a great trip. They went to Turks and Caicos. No gluten, basically no dairy. She was fighting a cold.
Then we think at some point … Where is it? Then now at this point, she’s six weeks dairy-free. Her skin is 100% better, different. Her stomach is great. Her bowel movements are great. Then I see her in October and she’s had diarrhea for two weeks. I had put her in the purify phase, which is from my book, Body Belief. It’ll be similar to phase two that’s going to be the [inaudible 00:14:34] book that comes out soon, but she kept having this diarrhea. Watery, frequent diarrhea.
So part of me thought, “I think she’s just resetting her intestinal forum. I think her body’s just truly detoxing,” but then it still continued. So we had her go to a doctor in the city who does work with parasites. He’s a parasitologist. He does not find a parasite, but he finds that she has high dairy and wheat allergies. So now she’s 100% still in the purify … He agrees with the diet. He says, “We have her on no [inaudible 00:15:12] vegetables as well.” Sorry. That was on me.
Her vitamin D was really, really deficient. Like a 10 or a 15. So we put her on high dose vitamin D. I should back this up too. Because of the incident with the reproductive endocrinologist and the Clomit, she basically doesn’t want to see doctors. She didn’t like the experience. She feels like … It took me a while to get more blood work done. That’s why it took me a while to find out that vitamin D was so low. Her stomach starts to get better.
Again, now we’re almost a year into working together. Is that right? She first saw me … Of course I can’t read the date. January 15th. So yeah. We’re hitting on a year now. We’re December 2018. Let’s see. She’s still ovulating. You know, her sleep is about seven hours. Her bowel movements have normalized. She got another cold though. She had this ear infection. Then okay.
Then she sees another doctor because the diarrhea comes back and the one doctor in the city sends her to another parasitologist and they put her on a round of antibiotics because they find a parasite. I think she has Flagyl. She lost weight. She drops to 115, which is really, really, really skinny. So we kind of shift gears for a little bit where we’re like, “I don’t think we should try. I think we should get rid of this parasite, treat it, get your weight back up.” We really have to build up her blood [inaudible 00:17:03]. She was tired. She was depleted.
Still in February, diarrhea is coming and going. Now she’s working with this parasite doctor. We finally then … Let’s see. Things even out. I have her add in rice and we … She’s at 110 pounds, like I said, and she gets her period, not in Purify. She was having some wine. She was feeling really defeated. So we added in some sprouted seeds, some quinoa. She stopped losing weight. This is now March 2019. So she stops losing weight and she’s good and she starts enjoying herself too. They’re going to do some more travel. Her stomach is getting better. Her energy is coming back. She repeated some blood work with the parasitologist. Everything came back clean. So we’re going to do a Dutch test that month.
I’m not going to attend to questions unless they pertain to this case, just so you know, but my team can respond to you. Her sleep is still now affected. We start working on the mindset piece again of everything’s fixed. Everything in my body is doing exactly what it needs to do. This came up previously in my E-course office hours, which I was in live before I came here and it was a similar case of this woman just has spotting in her luteal phase every month and she’s really frustrated because it’s not going away and if she takes progesterone, it does help it but then it comes back the next cycle. So it just feels like a band aid.
That’s even what I had to work on here in this case was, “Okay. What if this is just what your body is doing? What if we’re doing all the right things and your hormones are doing all the right things and you just still have spotting?” Can women that spot still get pregnant? The answer is yes. Could you do progesterone support in a pregnancy to help with the pregnancy? 100%. Should you if you need to? 100%. We had this level of acceptance we really started working on. Then also what started to come up around here … This is March 2019. She starts sharing with me some family stuff that happened a long, long time ago. Some significant trauma.
I remember being floored because at this point, I’m seeing this girl monthly. I feel very close to her. She’s never once told me these stories. It’s like a year and change in and stuff starts coming up about just a history of trauma. You know, there were powerful conversations. I encouraged … I mean obviously this is all anonymous. It wasn’t sexual abuse. It was her dad died at a young age, but it was a suspected … You know, a suspected murder, but it was a big thing and then her mom went into this whole state of shock and trauma. She just had this very fragile upbringing, if you will.
I remember thinking, “This is so interesting that she hasn’t told me any of this.” We talk about beliefs. I gave her some forgiveness work on ancestral healing stuff to do. That really started to shift things a little because what came back in the Dutch test also showed that there was … Like her cortisol and cortisone. She was running on a lot of stress. Just constantly going in her brain. Constant, constant.
I remember the Dutch doctor … I have the review here. He said, “Her DHEA was weak for her age. Her metabolized cortisol is really low. You have to treat the adrenals if her thyroid is normal,” which her thyroid was. He said her ovaries are not responding to the signal. He felt like she was in constant fight or flight and that’s why there was just no communication. The hypothalamus pituitary ovarian access was just not communicating, even though she was ovulating.
Then we find out about the Oova. This is maybe a couple months later, she starts using the Oova or at some point she starts using the Oova. Her [inaudible 00:21:32] are super low. So it’s just not enough umph basically. She’s not having a good healthy ovulation, which I then think is what’s causing the progesterone issue, right? So it helps me. I shift my herbs. We start to hone in more on how is your sleep? She tells me, “Oh, I sleep seven hours. I feel pretty rested,” but then the truth is she … It’s light sleep. She’s up and down. He said, “Her body is trying to compensate with increased cortisol and we have to support the sleep. The sleep is the biggest hurdle and that’s causing the problem.”
We get really serious about that. She does the Dutch test in March. We probably don’t have these results until like April. This is 2019. She’s got some headaches coming back, so … She’s taking a trip. She’s having fun again. We get information on the Dutch. I have her start digital detoxing before bed. Some of this is on me too. I kind of missed this part. So I have her cut out all devices 20 minutes before bed, start journaling. I wanted her to practice the forgiveness prayer every single night, which is … It’s ancestral trauma work, this guy John Newton. Her period is still coming. She’s still doing the diet. She’s basically living in what we would call phase three from the equality diet. Emotional frustration kept coming up, kept coming up.
Again, same thing. Cycles looking pretty good and she starts taking a lot of melatonin. This is another good example. Do you know too much melatonin will suppress ovulation? I didn’t realize she was on three milligrams of melatonin. So it suppressed her ovulation in May. Then we had her stop and then, boom, her body ovulates in June. We redo the Dutch because she had missed one part of it. We redo the Dutch in late June and we get more information on the Dutch. We make some more tweaks, but now it’s really …
Now we have a system. We talk through the Dutch. I put her on some glandular support, kidney glandular support because her adrenals were so shot, some MitoCORE. We get on a nighttime routine of complete darkness. I change my herbs on her. This is August of 2019. We then get the earliest ovulation we’ve actually ever had working together, cycle day 17. So she starts doing tapping. We have her doing emotional freedom technique. Then let’s see.
I have her connect with this one coach that I work with. He’s a mindset coach and he’s amazing. Nick Breau is his name. B-R-E-A-U. Does a lot of … It’s all mindset stuff. That’s it. I felt like she needed the deeper work that I couldn’t really give her just due to time constraints and stuff, but that he could do to help work through rewiring this stuff because a lot of this was coming from rewiring of, “I’m not good enough. I have to suffer in order to achieve what I want. Life is always a struggle.” Just also I think the bottom being pulled out of her so abruptly at such a young age and then seeing her family really just fall apart. It was significant trauma. I think everything was always then so controlled. She just had to control everything.
So she slowly just started to let go and really, really let go. Not in this way of giving up. She was very clear. “This is my dream. I’m growing a family. I’m getting pregnant. This is my dream. This is my dream,” but it was … This final piece was this emotional piece where I want to say surrender really took in. She started giving her mantras and one was, “It’s already done. It’s already done. There’s nothing more I have to do. There’s nothing.” I felt that way too. I felt like the diet, she had it down rock solid. We figured out the diarrhea thing. It was a parasite. We treated it. We’ve recovered. Her weight has now stabilized. Her cycles are becoming even more regular. We did the Dutch. We know what to support. We’re going after her adrenals. We’re addressing sleep routine.
We really came in and just zeroed in on this adrenal situation, if you will. I’m not one for adrenal fatigue, but she legit … I tested her cortisol and cortisone. She had adrenal dysfunction and that was impacting her body’s ability to feel safe to get pregnant because she was doing all the things. She really was. So then I had her tracking with the … Oh, no. Not yet. Then she started doing a lot of work around instead of getting jealous or mad at girls that are pregnant, it was just this feeling of, “Oh, I’m going to be pregnant again. I’m going to be pregnant too soon. I’m going to be pregnant too soon.” Started shifting her anger and her frustration. Instead of being jealous or angry at other women, she started feeling more like, “Oh, look. She’s pregnant. Oh, I’m going to be pregnant too soon. I’m almost there too.” Just getting on that momentum side of things of, “I’m not going to be left out. This is going to work out for me.”
She said the work that she was doing with him on the mindset stuff has really helped her relax. She’s seeing progress as linear versus a loop. She would basically feel good for … You guys all can relate. Two weeks out of the month was hopeful and positive and then would get her period and then cycle into the question loop so that he was trying to have her look at it as a continuous linear state of mind. He also actually has a really good book, Nick Breau. I think it’s called Power Manifesting, which is a good place … You could follow him on Instagram, too. He’s a dear friend. He’s a genius.
It just started to help her see of, “Every step is leading towards a next step,” versus, “I’m hopeful, I’m hopeful, I’m hopeful I get a period. There’s a setback. I’m hopeful, I’m hopeful, I’m hopeful. Setback.” That was a loop versus linear. It’s all leading to something. I will be pregnant soon. It’s all coming together. I have everything I need. I really do think for her it came in and it created a sense of safety in her cells. Like on a cellular level, I think there was this lack of safety. I’m not a trauma therapist or a trauma specialist, but I think I’ve seen enough and I saw it in her blood work. I saw it in her labs. It was very obvious.
I think the acupuncture and diet and giving her control and empowering her with these things she could do really helped her feel safer and more in control. This mindset piece was the last piece. It was kind of the final straw. She never stopped caring. She never put making a baby on hold. She never said, “Okay. I’m fine if I don’t have a baby.” She was always very clear. “No, I need to have this child and I want this child, but I’m also allowed to enjoy my life and I’m also allowed to be excited about this child coming. I’m allowed to be hopeful.”
Still December 2019. I mean we’re still freaking not pregnant, which is effing frustrating for me. I then stop using paper charts and move to … My clinic is now all EHRs or digital. Same thing. She got a period December 31st. She was disappointed but she was looking at the future as future fun, but is it … I don’t care. It’s not. It’s realizing she’s at the beginning and doesn’t have to have an overnight. She was on a trip. She started to have fun. She deviated a little from the diet and didn’t have a reaction.
I changed up her herbal formula again. Then January, we see a cycle day 15 cervical mucous. This now is the earliest. 17 and then 15 cervical mucous. So she still ovulated around 17, but we moved up her ovulation, I mean legit when she first started seeing me, almost 25 days. Then she now feels like, “Maybe I’m ready to see a reproductive endocrinologist again. Maybe I’m ready to try NIUI again. Maybe I’m ready.” She hadn’t been there for three years.
So she said she walked in and she felt in control. Her whole mindset was different. She was like, “Oh, maybe I’ll use these guys for their services,” versus, “Am I good enough for them to use me or is this going to work?” All this pressure. “Are they judging me?” She kind of came in like, “Maybe I’ll work with you. Maybe I won’t.” She really shifted. Again, the attitude shift was tremendous. So instead of doing anything, she got monitored. She had a beautiful 22-millimeter follicle. She had fun sex. Not pregnant. Okay.
Then March hits. She decided to take a break from progesterone. She spotted the whole month, but it was good confirmation for her that she just still needed the progesterone and she needed to love and accept it. That was I think a final piece there and then COVID hits. It’s April … Sorry. March 10th. We can’t see each other in the clinic. I still have her on herbs. We’re doing some coaching calls here and there. She decides in June when the clinics … June 4th. “I started spotting. Feel like I’m going to get my period tomorrow. I think I’ve decided that now is the time to try an IUI. I talked this in January with my husband. We said let’s take a year off and travel and revisit in 2021. Well now with 2020 canceled, it feels right to me to go try an IUI. I’m in a calm state. I’m relaxed. I’m happy. I’m just ready to up my odds. I think the way I feel right now is if it doesn’t work, I don’t care. I don’t feel stressed because I feel like I have all the time in the world, but like I said, I want to get the ball rolling.”
Sorry. Phone call. “I guess I want your opinion. I know that you and Nick both think I can get pregnant naturally. I do believe my body can do it, but it does get exhausting month after month and now with literally nothing left to do in life outside this apartment until the fall, it feels right. I don’t want to sound like it’s something to do because we were bored. I just think it’s something I can handle right now because there’s no stress of timing since we have no plans. I think I’m ready.”
So I said, “I like this plan and I do think IUIs are still getting pregnant naturally, just with a tad more support. So I think absolutely go for it. You could also try the Oova for this cycle. I see it. So we could do monitoring check labs.” I get her to do the Oova for two cycles. She’s doing some blood work and we do a call. Let’s see. Okay. Let’s see. Okay. She’s doing the Oova. “It looks like your body is gearing up for ovulation. Yesterday your LH got up to a 16, but then it dropped. You’re getting there. How are you feeling?” This was June 23rd.
“Thanks for the update. I’m doing good. I’m not over-analyzing. I’m allowing my body to do what it wants. I’m not in a rush.” She’s excited. Her LH surge. So now all of a sudden, she notices … This is interesting. We’re using the Oova and she starts paying attention to the numbers again and guess what happens. Her ovulation gets delayed. “Longest cycle I’ve had in ages and I’m almost at a six. The whole point of using past ovulation to see progesterone is going to be a waste. I like the app because it doesn’t say what cycle day I am, but every effing morning, it just says low ovulation, which mentally makes me feel like shit when normally I go about my life and my nipples are sore and ready. I’m almost there. I did want to do it to get the results, but you can definitely see how this can knock the wind right out of my sails.”
“Honestly, if I could just use 100 of their sticks in a cycle, I’d be less stressed. I’m stressing about all this.” Totally delayed her ovulation. I love the Oova. I don’t normally see that with clients, but this is a perfect example. I think that’s where BBT can make girls a little stressed out too. She was just so attached to these results and what her body was doing that it actually delayed her cycle and it was such for me … Such a clear moment of stress really impacts her cycle. The scrutiny. There’s a lot of women like that. So we got her more … She wanted to keep scanning.
Then I kind of was like, “Maybe we just stop.” Then let’s see. Now I’m emailing with … Okay. Then she creates a new account. Anyway, she keeps scanning. Sorry. You don’t need to know all that detail. We figure out how to continue the scan. Okay. She ovulates, which is amazing. Now it’s July 5th. It took her a whole 30 days. Let’s see. Okay. We talked about how we’re not robots and that’s okay. Her progesterone … She started that. July 9th. Let’s see. Okay. Still going through emails. July 10th. Okay. She ovulated on cycle day 21 in July and then let’s see. Let’s see. Oova update.
Okay. So her progesterone wasn’t showing a super high even read on the Oova, even on the supplements. So she decides July 16th, “I will do the IUI with Clomid and a trigger shot, even though I’m deathly afraid of the shot, but I’m frustrated and a little scared because I think the REs look at your progesterone levels and they definitely wouldn’t listen to this data. They’d want their own. Can I ever get pregnant ever?” So she’s frustrated. This is July. She’s like, “Can I ever get pregnant?” I write back, “You can definitely get pregnant. I think two things. One, your estrogen needs more of a push. That will get you to ovulate sooner and should help progesterone to get where it needs to get. Two, the progesterone you are taking isn’t doing much. I think you might need another form or we actually stop the Rx progesterone and try [inaudible 00:37:12] progesterone. I apologize if I wasn’t clear. It’s inefficient.”
Anyway, we go back and she’s like, “Thank you. I needed to hear that.” Let’s see. Then let’s see. Let’s see. Okay. Let me see. Then we refill her herbs, so she’s all set there. She does the IUI, has a massive follicle, gets the trigger shot and she ovulated on cycle day 16. “To summarize the experience, we loved it. We kept it light. My husband drove me into the city each morning for monitor and we had fun. We went to a gluten-free, dairy-free bakery. The day was fun. Then we just had fun sex because we wanted to, not because we had to. It was literally the best thing ever and ovulating so early meant I wasn’t suffering getting blood taken, so I feel great. I’m excited to see what happens, but I also think I’m okay if it’s not right now. We’re going to go to the Hamptons for Labor Day, so we’ll be taking off next month if it doesn’t work this time.”
I said, “It’s amazing news. I check in on her.” She gets her period and she said, “I’m okay about it. It’s not as devastating a blow as I was afraid of. I made a huge breakthrough during this process and I think that’s why. I always used to say I don’t want to get my hopes up because of the disappointment each month. I couldn’t see that in doing that I was holding back and fearful at the end of each month. I keep hearing you tell me to jump in with both feet for the IUI. I was never jumping in with both feet ever. I was always trying to protect myself from being hurt.” You guys relate to that.
“So the last week or so, we’ve been diving in. We looked online at cribs. We decided colors we would use if it was a boy or a girl. We started talking about it more, which we never did. We both feel lighter and I think I found what’s been holding me back. So this cycle may not have worked, but for the first time in four years, I feel like I’m moving forward. Not starting a cycle again, planning for future, we will have … It’s been fun and exciting instead of dreading for the negative test. It was a great cycle. We really enjoyed it and it will happen soon. We are going away for Labor Day. Then we will do our second IUI when we get back. Thanks for checking in. It’s been a long road but I’m chugging along and I see the massive improvements I’m overcoming mentally.”
This was August 24th and I just told her how proud I was of her. She makes an appointment with me because we … She took a month off and now September’s coming. She’s going to do a second IUI. She took 75 milligrams of Clomit. She had one follicle. Let’s see. I told her, “You are safe. You are protected. Let’s do this.” Thursday, October 29th, she sent me an email that says, “It’s happening. I knew it was coming. We were literally in disbelief. We’ve been jumping and crying and hugging all morning. I’m so relieved. I knew my body could do this. I told you we’ve been saying one thing we are excited for every day this month. Yesterday mine was to feel the baby inside me and just be pregnant.”
“We wrote every one down and now to look back and we can actually … Actually, we can be excited. It’s not even real. Thank you, thank you, thank you for bringing me to this place. I wouldn’t be here without you. I love you so much. The universe knew this was our time. We spent the last four years traveling and living our lives to the fullest. I’m a way better person now than I was then. I wouldn’t change any of it.” A picture of her positive pregnancy test and there you have it. Totally makes me cry. I was so proud of her.
October 29th, 2020 and her first visit with me was … What did I say? January 15th, 2018. So it was a long haul, but I feel like we are dealing with a different woman now than ever before and I also think this is a great case to show that she really was doing all the things and the last final … The final piece was this emotional piece. I know it’s so easy to say it and even to read it in a case like this, but I know you guys can relate to so much of what she was feeling and what she was going through and that she finally just hit this place where she was like, “Fuck it. I’m going to live my life. I’m going to have fun and I’m going to let myself start being excited about being a mom and growing a family because I’ve been holding myself back for all these years in a defensive mechanistic kind of way.”
At the moment, she’s 32 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby girl and yeah. That’s that. Exciting, right? You guys all stayed on for the end, which I think is great. Thank you. Yeah. Okay. I’m going to go because I have a call at one o’clock and I’ve got to review some Dutch notes, so I will see you guys next week. Hope you enjoyed this. Thank you.
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