In this video we’re going through chapter 2 of my best-selling book, “Yes, You Can Get Pregnant: Fertility Now and Into Your Forties”
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SEE THE FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:
Hello. Hi! How are you guys? Hello. It’s book club time again. Yes! So, if you remember, once a month, we are doing a chapter from this book. This is the first book we’re starting with in our book club series. So, we will be going through all of my books and not to mention, we just solidified the publishing date for my upcoming book called The Egg Quality Diet, which will be out on June 13th. So, keep an eye, because we’re going to have lots of fun, promos, and giveaways, and incentives for you to pre-order the book. If you continue following me here, since you’re already here, and then if you want even more juicy details, go to my website and sign up for my email list, get on my newsletter. Take my fertility quiz, that’s also a great way to just get into the know, because I give you lots and lots of juicy free stuff if you take that fertility quiz.
But today, we are covering chapter two of … This is one of my best-selling books. This is typically and frequently an Amazon bestseller, called Yes, You Can Get Pregnant. I wrote this book in 2014, and to date it has helped and served upwards of 50,000 women. We’re really, really psyched, and I’m so grateful that this book came through me. And that I’m able to serve and continue to serve using it. So, if you don’t have your copy, I urge you to go and get a copy, but you can still tune in today. Again, we’re going to do chapter two. Last month, we did chapter one. The month prior, we did the introduction. So, we’re rolling right along.
Do any of you have your copy? I hope. Some of you guys, I know you have copies, and Kindle version, or ebook version, and physical version. I don’t have the Kindle version. Should I have my own Kindle version? I don’t know. This chapter, Two is all about your fertile body and understanding how it works. So, I’m just going to read a little bit from the beginning, because I think it’s really important to set the tone.
“In order for you to really begin rejuvenating your fertility and to ultimately get pregnant, first, you need to believe in the power you have to change your health and your fertility.” All the stuff we covered in chapter one.
“Second, you need to understand how your womanly parts work. When we understand how a bodily system, like your reproductive system, optimally operates, we can take that knowledge to figure out why your system isn’t working optimally, and find the best way to get it back on track. As well, when we appreciate,” this is super important, I think, “The sophisticated details of what goes on inside our body, we form a strong foundation.” I think about respect, like teamwork. Like, we’re in this together versus so many women dealing with fertility challenges or dealing with really bad periods. They start to hate their body. They start to hate their reproductive system and they completely disconnect from it.
So, what if we learned how it should work, how it could work, and in that same vein started respecting, respecting our bodies, our reproductive system, and most importantly, our child’s palace, which is also known as our uterus. When we respect that vessel, we treat it so kindly, so graciously, so lovingly, and we nourish it versus feel like we’re constantly fighting against it, right? Or like it’s not on our team. So how do we align with our reproductive system so that we can work with it? Right? So we can work together?
Key steps I get into in your physiology, which I also do posts on this quite regularly. One is your optimal menstrual cycle. And so, when I first meet somebody, and from a Chinese medicine perspective, it is so important for me to get the nitty gritty details on their period, which is why I don’t love women being on birth control. I mean, that’s one of the reasons. There’s many reasons, it causes significant micronutrient deficiencies and a host of other issues.
The menstrual cycle gives me juicy, juicy details about the important vital substances from a Chinese medicine perspective. Your chi, your blood, your essence, those are our three vital substances, which we covered a bit in chapter one. So, you can go back and re watch that. It’s on Instagram. It’s on the IGTBs, and Facebook, it’s here in the videos. So, you’ll see the title, chapter one, that I went over last month.
We want to see the cycle come with regularity, and the one thing that I would love to be able to go back and change in this book is, I say a menstrual cycle comes every 28 to 35 days. I would like to edit that for a little bit of leeway on either side. Also in this, remind women that we are not robots. And your cycle could differ month to month, and that doesn’t mean you’re broken or infertile. Okay?
I want everybody to take that in. We are not robots. Your cycle could defer month to month. That does not mean you are broken or infertile. Okay? Take that in. We are not robots. We’re allowed to change. Life changes all the time. The variables change all the time. We can be impacted by that.
I’m sure many of you, when you go flying, remember the days when we used to take airplanes? It would always impact my cycle. It would delay my ovulation or it would impact my cycle some way. If I had a more stressful month, maybe my period was late. Maybe my cycle was heavier. Maybe it was lighter. So just ebb and flow. Understand we are not robots. Ideally, a cycle comes regularly though. So, whether that’s 24 days or 39 days, I want regularity with the cycle. Plus or minus two days on either end. Fine, but I want some regularity. And most important what I want to see is a good, healthy blood flow when you bleed, and ideally, a 12 to 14 day luteal phase. Those are the key things I want to see. And I do like to see you ovulating cycle day nine, or ten, or later. Because ovulating earlier than nine, I think is an immature egg. And then I’m worried about that not being a healthy egg to then fertilize and get pregnant.
That’s where we come up with this window of 28 to 35 days. That then gives us a good 14-day luteal phase and a 14-day follicular phase. 35 gives us a longer follicular phase, but we could also have shorter. You could have a 22-day cycle or a 24-day cycle and actually still be getting in a cycle day 10 ovulation and a 10-day luteal phase. Or a 13-day luteal phase. I don’t think that that’s wrong or bad, especially if I see a healthy menstrual flow.
“We want to see, the flow should be bright red. Should be without cramps, without clots. And it should start off heavy and taper off in a tapered fashion. About six to eight regular tampons or pads the first day. Three to four the second day. Two to four the third day, and then taper from there.” So juicy, bright red like, I’m stealing this from my associate, Michelle. She calls it paper cut red. That’s the color you want to see, that fresh, healthy red blood. When we see it too pink or pale, I worry about you’re blood deficient. When I see a too dark, wine-colored brown, black, it’s a lot of stagnation. So we need to resolve that. Okay?
And then we want to see an efficient ovulation. Like I was saying, ideally after cycle day nine, that you ovulate. Closer to 12, 13, 14, even better. But again, we’re not robots. Don’t freak out. Okay? And I’ve had plenty of women on cycle day nine ovulate and get pregnant. I’ve had plenty of women on cycle day 20 or 22 ovulate and get pregnant. I recently had a 40, she’s now 46, 45-year-old ovulate on cycle day 27. Got pregnant with a healthy baby girl that she is now almost 30 weeks pregnant with. Okay? Not a robot. Healthy, vital woman, not a robot. Naturally pregnant at 45, almost 46 on a cycle day 27 ovulation. So, we are not robots, but I want to see a juicy, healthy ovulation, which she had. Good cervical mucus.
A couple of days of cervical mucus, the better. Some girls only see it for a day or two. Some girls have to go up and find it to see it, but we want to see it look like raw egg whites. It should be stretchy. You should feel lubricated during sex. You should have an increased sex drive. Those are important things that I look for when I am looking at the health of a menstrual cycle. It’s okay to feel a little crampy with ovulation, but I don’t want stabbing sharp pains. I don’t really want to see any spotting with ovulation. Sometimes it happens, and it could be totally normal. But, if it happens on a regular basis, that should be inspected. Makes me suspect some cysts on your ovaries or something of that nature.
Then, like I said, the luteal phase. Which is, once you’ve ovulated, now the progesterone is being secreted from the follicle, now called the corpus luteum. The follicle houses the egg, it’s the egg house, then it ruptures out the egg. And then the follicle becomes the corpus luteum and it sits there and it secretes progesterone. The healthier that follicle house, I tend to think the healthier the follicular phase, the healthier the luteal phase, and the stronger the ovulation. I tend to use Uva a lot these days. You guys can go to my website and see my recommendations on Uva. I also have a discount code for using it. If you go under my recommended products page on my website, Aimee Ruapp dot com.
The Uva is an amazing, it’s an at home urine test kit to predict ovulation, but it also, it not just shows you whether or not you surged, it shows you the exact LH surge, which is awesome. And then it also, you continue to test into your luteal phase. We get to see how high those progesterone levels go, which really excites me because when I see healthy progesterone in the luteal phase, I know you ovulated a juicy, ripe egg out of that juicy, healthy follicle. And that is so important for me to see.
Okay. Does that make sense, guys? I also, don’t want to see spotting in the luteal phase a little bit here and there, fine. Some women, like I have one client that I’m working with, we’re doing everything right. Her cycle is so juicy and healthy. She still has this day or two of spotting in luteal phase. I’m beginning to just accept it. You know what we worked on last time, and when I coached her, was the belief around whether or not she thinks she can get pregnant with spotting in her luteal phase.
And we got to the opinion and the belief that she can. She can get pregnant with spotting in her luteal phase. So again, because she’s not a robot and none of you guys are, okay? And the robot thing I’m stealing from my other associate, Sarah. See, this is why when you work with team Aimee, you get all of us, and we’re all equally amazing and great. And my team teaches me just as much as I support and inspire them. So, Sarah, my associate in New York city, who is also one of our fertility coaches has been working with me for 11 years and she’s amazing. And she uses that robot analogy all the time. And I’ve said to her one day at the clinic, I’m like, “I’m so stealing that cause I love it.” And so, here you have it.
Then we go into, “If a client’s menstrual cycle is functioning well, it indicates her hormones are working as they should in generally her reproductive system is functioning optimally. If your period is not functioning in optimum right now, don’t fret as this book will help you achieve a more fertile body, even if yours is a touch out of balance.”
So, then we get into the basis of your fertile body. I talk about all the different hormones, the eight, the hypothalamus, pituitary, ovarian access, and how it all works. I have this really pretty little chart in here. Basically your brain, the hypothalamus lives in your brain. It then secretes a hormone called the gonadotropin releasing hormone, which stimulates your pituitary gland to then secrete, FSH, and LH to the ovaries. Which then secretes, estrogen and progesterone to the uterus, and we got a healthy cycle. So, you can go and read all about that in there if you want. I actually drew that picture myself and we put it in the book.
I talk about basal body temperature charting, which I do think is an important tool. Also, can become what I like to call a bit of a mind-fuck tool too, because it’s a little too much pressure and attention every single day to exactly what your body is doing, and that might be overwhelming. So, some women, I like you to do BBT one or two months, and then maybe we just get the rhythm that your cycle is doing what it’s supposed to do. And maybe take a break or maybe just test a little bit in the follicular phase, like a day or two in the follicular phase, right around ovulation, and then a couple of days in the luteal phase. So, I can get an idea of what you’re doing. Or, you use something like, I love the Uva for this reason too, because it’s just a little easier, a little more concrete. Still, kind of stress-inducing at times, but really, really reliable information.
But I talk about BBT charting and what a BBT chart should look like. And then I go into the different hormones and what they should be when they should be tested. So I’m not going to go over all that because I feels like it’s pretty straightforward. You know, we really care about what… AMH wasn’t really, it was kind of new to town when I wrote this book. So, I don’t really talk about that there. But, what I will also add to this about FSH and AMH is, and this’ll be another thing I would add if I were doing like a revised edition of this book. Those numbers change month to month, they’re not set in stone. They can improve. Do not hang your hat on them. Do not let them rule your life. Okay?
FSH, let me say it again. FSH and AMH should not rule life do not hang your hat on them. I’m telling this story lately of a woman who I’m working with who is 48 and doing egg retrievals and using donor sperm and making embryos. And she’s had some success. She actually got one genetically normal, healthy baby girl from a retrieval. And again, at 48, she was working with two different clinics. She was kind of volleying back and forth. Her original clinic that she froze eggs with and made embryos with a couple of years prior.
And there’s a host of reasons why she was going back to do retrievals and all these things. So, her one clinic that she was working with in where she lives a very typical, standard, by the book if you will, large clinic canceled her cycle because her FSH was too high, even though she had two healthy follicles growing. So her FSH was in the twenties and they canceled the cycle because they said, “It’s not a good cycle. We’re not going to go and retrieve.” And she then went to another clinic who was a more of a boutique clinic who doesn’t pay as much attention to numbers. And wasn’t as concerned and said, “I see two juicy follicles in there. I’m going to go get them.” And inside two juicy follicles were two juicy eggs. And one of which created a juicy, healthy chromosomally euploid, euploid, normal genetically normal baby girl at the age of 48.
And so, I think there’s a lot of takeaways there. One, that she created a genetically normal baby at the age of 48, after working with me and following my program, she was really, really diligent on this. Basically my egg quality diet program. Two, that high FSH does not mean a poor quality egg.
You guys are all told that somehow, even though there’s no research data to support that. High FSH does not mean poor quality egg, just like low AMH doesn’t mean poor quality egg. Okay? It is about quality, not quantity. All those numbers tell us is an idea, a guesstimation, a range of what’s left. Which also changes month to month. So, I don’t really think it’s set in stone, or should be as paid attention to, as it normally is. It basically just means for fertility clinics, whether or not you’re going to respond well to their medications. That’s why they care for those numbers to be where they want them to be.
There’s plenty of girls with high FSH’s and low AMH’s that go on and get pregnant and have healthy children. And there’s also plenty of girls with high FSH and low AMH that go through IVF and respond well. You just got to find the right clinic and the right doctor and the right meds for you. Okay? So, that’s enough about the hormones.
The next thing I think is really important that I want to talk about that I mentioned in this book is the section called your fertile body, getting some action. Mm-hmm (affirmative)
So, you guys know me as the woman that says I am all about having regular fun sex, not “honey, I’m ovulating” sex. Now of course, when you are trying to make a baby, you need to have “honey I’m ovulating” sex, but could we keep it fun and sexy at least half of the time? Could we?
“There are many moving parts that need to come together for conception to occur, but don’t let that worry you. Just look around and notice every single person you see and realize that they were conceived. Yes, conception is a miracle, and it happens all the time.” Okay? I know you feel left out right now, but it does happen. And it can happen to you. “It is your job to have a resolute belief in your body and its ability to conceive. Using that strong belief in your body and the knowledge that you have the power to improve your health and your fertility as a jumping off point, let’s talk about how your body is going to go about conceiving.” Woo!
“Did you know that the process of conception begins anywhere between one to five days before ovulation even occurs?” What!? So, here’s how it goes. “A teaspoon of sperm, which contains about two to three million spermatozoa, enters the vaginal cavity, survives the swim. It can take up to 24 hours for the sperm to get up there, and then cervix must be open.” That’s pretty important. “And then sperm needs to be in the fallopian tubes, hanging out ready and waiting prior to ovulation as the egg, once ovulated moves out of the follicular SAC through the fallopian tubes. If that egg is not fertilized in 12 to 24 hours, guess what? You ain’t getting pregnant. Sperm can live for up to five days in the uterus.”
So the key is to try before you ovulate. The key, I say this right here, “The key is healthy, super swimming, sperm up the fallopian tube prior to ovulation.” And I have a nice little picture that I also made of the lovely uterus, the fallopian tubes, and the ovaries, and your cervix, and your vagina. Your vagina, your cervix, your uterus. I made that.
And so, the traveling of the sperm and the egg once fertilized, this is another interesting thing, can take three to seven days to then implant. Which is why I think there’s such a big variation in due dates. Why women are a week late where they’re really not just took seven days to implant. So, remember that, sperm needs to be there hanging out when ovulation happens. I see it all the time that women miss this timing piece. They think they’re trying because their app is telling them when they’re ovulating and you cannot use an app to tell you when you’re ovulating! You need to be testing or looking for signs and symptoms. Cervical mucus is a huge sign and symptom.
My friend, Lisa Henderson-Jack, from fertility Friday, and she also wrote The Fifth Vital Sign. She says, “The second you start seeing cervical mucus, you should start trying the second you start seeing it get on it.” I think that’s a great piece of advice. If you feel like testing or doing BBT charting, those are other really good ways to be specific about your attempts. But I think also another thing is just have unprotected sex a couple of times a week, every week, have some freaking fun in your sex life.
Next section, orgasms and conception. This is what I start this chapter with. And I mean it, when I say this, “I know, I know! The last thing you need to deal with when you’re busy, trying to get pregnant is feeling the pressure to orgasm, as well, during sex.”
Of course, your partner, if you’re in a heterosexual relationship, must orgasm, but do you? And listen, even if you’re in a same sex relationship and wanting to make a baby sex is super important. Babies are made out of love. Even if you need science, okay? Even if you’re doing IVF, if you need science, I don’t care. I still want you to have that love. You’re bringing a baby into that family. If you’re doing this on your own, you should be getting some of your own self-pleasure in there. It’s really important to open that uterus. Orgasms bring healthy blood flow to that uterus and that reproductive system. I recently had a friend message me who, she’s not in a relationship right now, and her period is changing. And the cycle was really, the blood was really dark. And she said, “What’s going on here? Why is it like this?”
And I said, “When was the last time you had sex?” And she was like, “Oh, it’s been like three months.” And I was like, “When’s the last time you had an orgasm?” And she’s like, “Yeah, I haven’t been. And I’m like, “You need to get on that.” Because regular sex and or orgasms will actually help improve the blood flow in the uterus, which will then help improve the quality of the blood that is your endometrial lining. And that lining is really important to be healthy and vital. You want it to be rich and juicy and fresh for that egg to implant if you’re trying to get pregnant. Embryo to implant.
“There’s interesting research that shows vaginal and uterine contractions occur during a woman’s orgasm actually help move sperm faster up through the cervix, into the uterus. And they also found that retention was higher even when women had an orgasm up to 45 minutes after male ejaculation. So meaning, even if you don’t orgasm during sex, you can still then orgasm after. And it helps with sperm retention and getting sperm where it needs to go. In traditional Oriental medicine, which is my forte as well, we also believe the female orgasm is extremely important for conception as it brings female joy. And I talk about that in chapter one is that’s a really important piece to this conception process. Okay?
So, I don’t want to pressure you, but I really want you to try and enjoy sex. So important. And that’s often overlooked in this process. We say too, babies are made out of love. I mean, that’s what I say a lot. And I know some people maybe don’t love me for saying that because maybe it feels like too much pressure. And even if you’re doing this on your own, you still have a lot of love in your life. And I want you to focus on that joy, but the joy comes from the heart. The heart is the emperor of all things in our body, from a Chinese medicine perspective. Without the emperor being at peace and happy, it’s really hard for things to flow the way they should. We see that from a Chinese medicine perspective as an often a big disconnect because the heart and the uterus are in direct communication. We want a lot of joy and love and peace and ease and that heart to then travel into that uterus and just be a welcoming child’s palace to this baby that’s coming through.
Okay. Sperm. I talk about Male factor issues in here, because it’s really, really, really important. When I wrote this book, they said that 30% was male factor. I think it’s up to now 50%. Girls, get the sperm checked sooner than later, if you’ve been trying to conceive and it’s not happening.
I then talk about some things that impact sperm issues like varicose seals, infections, stress, testicular overheating, substance abuse, smoking, obesity, bicycling, toxic environmental chemicals, medical conditions, immunological problems. I also have a really happy, happy? A really amazing healthy daddy diet that is a handout that goes along with this book, there’s a website that I mention in this book. Oh, it’s Yes I Can Get Pregnant dot com where you get some other resources that come with this book.
And then lastly, I talk about what I call the traditional Oriental medicine fertility dance. And I just want to read this first paragraph because I think it’s so special.
“The 5,000 year old medicine, of traditional Oriental medicine, looks at fertility and conception a little more romantically than its Western counterpart. Fertility and conception are seen as a beautiful dance between three vital substances: chi, blood, and essence. These three vital substances mingle together to create a life that will be housed in your child’s palace.” Also known as your uterus.
“There is abundant essence, chi, and blood flowing through your body nourishing healthy growing follicles that will ovulate mature eggs, that dance and meet with sperm. And together, they nestle into a blood rich vitalizing child’s palace and create life. When all three vital substances are abundant and in working connection with one another, our health and our fertility thrive, and we should be able to conceive easily. Essence, blood, and chi are considered vital because without them life cannot exist nor can it be created. And so, essence is the root of chi and blood, love is the mother of chi, chi is the commander of blood, and what all this means is that they’re intertwined. So, just like the ovaries could not function without the hypothalamus telling the pituitary gland to secrete certain hormones. Essence cannot exist without chi and blood, nor can chi exists without blood and essence.”
So, the Power to improve your health and your fertility from a Chinese medicine perspective, and this is what I work on. And so that’s why the mental emotional is just as important as the nutritional and the supplement from a perspective that I work. It’s all about getting these three vital substances where they need to be. And that is lifestyle, that is diet, that is joy, that is the emotional state, that is the connection in your life. Community support partnerships. That is movement. I go into more details on how to amplify essence, chi, and blood in future chapters. And I will cover that as well when we do these book clubs, but understanding that essence, chi, and blood. Essence is the basis of life. It’s literally like our foundation, some of it comes from what’s passed on to us genetically, epigenetically from our parents. Well, genetically, and then some of it is built as we live. And I think some of that’s based on our epigenetics and the choices we make, and that is where the whole argument comes in of like, “Can we really improve egg quality?”
Absolutely, we can. It’s been shown time and time again that we can, there’s research to support it. And this is all essence, from my perspective, from a Chinese medicine perspective, that we can build postnatal essence, we can improve your epigenetics. We can shift the way you live your life, which will then impact if you will, inflammation and hormones in your body, which will positively impact egg quality regardless of your age. Yes, things decline as we get older, we say that in Chinese medicine too, but we do tend to believe a woman is fertile until about the age of 49, even 50 in some cases. There are definitely cases of women getting pregnant in their 50s all over the globe.
It’s about your essence. So, sometimes it is genetics. What you’re born with. If you’re born with a really good goods, I think you’re going to have fertility even later in life. And then also if you’ve chosen a really good quality of life, and have had that for many years, that’s going to really positively impact your ability to conceive even into your forties. And then blood and chi come from the food we eat, the air we breathe, the thoughts we think. And that’s another super important thing to think about.
Abundant fertility comes from an overflow of essence, chi, and blood. All of which, we have a lot of power over in our daily lives. From the thoughts we think, to the food we eat, to the relationships we keep, to how we move, to how we sleep. We say it’s like the air we breathe, but what we mean by that is like literally the air we breathe, like who are we surrounding ourselves with? What are we surrounding ourselves with? And how are we interacting in our lives? And then really, how are we nourishing ourselves? So, that’s where I come in, and in the book, you’ll see gets really deep into this. But what can we do to really fortify our essence, our blood, and our chi? Because those three things together is what, not just sustains life and lets you live a long, healthy, vital life, but also helps create life. That is, let me just see if there’s any other really good pearls.
Let’s take a moment and repeat your mantra. So, this is the mantra from the book, if you guys are new to my book club. “I have the power to change my health and improve my fertility.” Everybody put their hands over their heart. Repeat after me. “I have the power to change my health and improve my fertility.” Yes you do. Okay!
So, if you guys don’t yet have your copy of Yes, You Can Get Pregnant. I would get it. Why not? Thousands and thousands of women have benefited from it and love it. And there’s like, several hundred reviews of it on Amazon. And there, I think I’m like four and a half, almost 4.7, five stars. So, people love it. Go give it a read if you haven’t and I’ll see you next month for chapter three, okay? If you want more information on me? Just head to my website, Aimee Ruapp.com or just keep following me here. I come to you live all the time and keep an eye out too, for information on my next book, which will come out June 13th. I can not wait. And pre-order will start, I think late may. We’ll keep you posted on all that, okay? Have a great day, everyone.
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