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Back to Basics: The Foundations of Your Fertility {EXPERT FERTILITY ADVICE}

Let’s get back to basics! There’s a lot of information out there that can be really confusing to sort through. In this video, I focus on what really matters when it comes to your fertility. 

Drop a comment below with your thoughts!

Disclaimer: Please keep in mind that I am not a medical doctor. I have been a practitioner of Traditional Chinese Medicine for over 17 years and I will be speaking from my clinical experience helping thousands of women conceive. The office of Aimee E. Raupp, M.S., L.Ac and Aimee Raupp Wellness & Fertility Centers and all personnel associated with the practice do not use social media to convey medical advice. This video will be posted to Aimee’s channels to educate and inspire others on the fertility journey.


Aimee Raupp:

Hello everyone, how are you? Hi. Let's let some of you come on. Here we go. Hi, how are you? I am Aimee of aimeeraupp.com, and I am coming to you live today to talk about what I see, what I have learned in my two decades of clinical experience helping women get and stay pregnant in my work in writing the books above my head, what I would call the foundations of your fertility. If that is of interest to you, give me a heart, give me a, “Hell yeah,” and stick around and listen to this conversation that we're going to have about the foundations of your fertility, what really matters, I think, and it's not taking 30 supplements, it's more than that.

And so I think last week I did a live on what I… Not a live, a reel on what I thought was… Here we go, everybody's giving me hearts. Yeah. You want to learn about foundations of your fertility. What the fertility expert who's been doing this for two decades, what she has learned, me, as what I think are the critical things, the critical recipe to optimizing fertility.

This is not a Q and A, my love, so I'm not going to be answering questions. The Q and A will happen in two weeks. If you have comments as it relates to today's conversation, I'm all ears, but I'm not going to be answering direct questions right now.

But I did a Tuesday Thoughts last week about the number one thing to improve your egg quality. And I talked about the word safety. It got over 10,000, I think almost 20,000 views, and generally speaking, everybody was like, “I love this. I love this concept.” And so today, it got me thinking before I came live. I quickly looked up a definition of safety, and I want to read it to you. Safety is a state in which hazards and conditions leading to physical, psychological, or material harm are controlled in order to preserve the health and wellbeing of individuals and the community.

What I think as a foundational principle of improving fertility is that it's safety, it's creating a sense of safety in the body. And so when we're talking about the health and wellbeing of individuals and the community, I think about the health and wellbeing of all the billions of cells in your body, the eggs in your ovaries. We're controlling as much as we can, knowing we're all human, knowing life happens, knowing shit happens, but we're doing our best to manage the conditions leading to physical, psychological, or material harm to preserve the health and wellbeing of every single cell in my body. It's a very big foundation to fertility, so let's break it down.

What does that mean, Aimee? Aimee, tell me what that looks like in my everyday life. How do I work on the foundations of my fertility? How do I work on creating this sense of safety in my body so that I can get pregnant faster? Because this has been a fucking long journey, and I'm over it. I know that's where you're all at, and I know you're human. And I know sometimes I talk very esoterically or philosophically, and some people are like, “Yeah, no, just tell me how much NAC I need to take because I just want my eggs to be better.” And I get that, I really do. But I also get so pissed off at that, that that's what some people are out there are just saying, “Oh, if you just take four grams of Ovasitol every day, that's it, PCOS is cured and you're going to have great egg quality and you'll never have another chemical pregnancy again.” Bullshit. That's snake oil right there, in my opinion.

We want to get to the nuts and bolts. Why are we not getting pregnant? Why is egg quality compromised? Why are our periods irregular? Why are our hormones imbalanced? Why? Why? Why? A lot of times, it's rooted in mental emotional health, systemic inflammation, gut health. What does it mean to create a sense of safety in the body? This is how I picture it. And this is a very Chinese medicine. When we are living in accordance with the dao, when we are following the way, we cycle regularly, we ovulate regularly, we have minimal PMS, we feel energized every day, we poop every day. It's formed, it's easy to pass. Our skin is healthy, it's hydrated. Our hair is healthy, it's hydrated. Our nails grow, they're healthy, they're hydrated. This is non-toxic nail polished, by the way. I did it myself. And that's because we've created a sense of safety. We're living in accordance, as we would say in Chinese medicine, with the dao, which means we're living in accordance with the laws of nature.

To create a sense of safety in the body means that the body then says, “I have enough. I now have all the resources I need to take care of this. This is my primary focus, me, Aimee.” You, Cassie, Ariel, your primary focus is your body has enough to take care of you. And then it says, “And I have enough to now grow another human.” And that's because it feels safe, that's because it feels secure, that's because it's got enough.

Now, I know there's all sorts of things, but what about for premature ovarian aging? What about endometriosis? What about poor egg equality? What about miscarriage? It still falls into the same parameter because all of those, the three I just mentioned, POA or POI, endo, recurrent losses are all falling into that same category of immune system inflammatory reactions that the body is saying, “It's not safe for me to ovulate menstruate regularly. It's not safe for me to continue to hold onto this pregnancy. It's not safe for me to allow myself to mature this one juicy egg every month. Because why? I have other priorities. There's other fires to put out.”

For me and how I work, how my team works, it's about fixing the foundation. We dig deep. What are all the red flags going on in your body? What is your gut health doing? What is your hormone health doing? What is your psychological health doing? How is this state, the conditions leading to physical, psychological, material, which I would just say substance overall, how are all those things working in the body? And then from there we backtrack. Okay, so we work on repairing. We repair.

When I think about safety from a perspective of optimizing fertility, I'm thinking about, one, mental emotional state. Are you more calm and centered and clear than you're not? None of this is about perfection, it's literally about a 60/40 or a 70/30 rule. My goal is 70% of the time, I want you feeling safe in here, secure, safe in your thoughts, safe in the conversation you have in the privacy of your own mind, safe in the relationship that you have with yourself. Do you feel psychologically safe with yourself? Because that creates an overall sense of safety in the nervous system, which… And this is scientifically shown and proven, this is not esoteric or something that Aimee has decided on. When the body feels calm and safe, it does, it shifts out a fight or flight mode and it shifts into rest, relax and reproduce mode. That's what you want.

And be honest with yourself. Am I 70% of the time feeling calm, cool and collected, feeling like I got this, feeling like this can work out for me, feeling open to possibilities, feeling open to trying new things, feeling open to share where you're at, your emotions? As hard as that is. Feeling vulnerable. That is a sense of safety, physiologically, psychologically. That's safety pillar number one that I really look at.

Safety pillar number two that I look at is nourishment. And so I think there's two parts to that. How are we nourishing ourselves? We'll just start with food. And then also how are we digesting and absorbing our food? Because a body that is not getting everything it needs or is managing, putting out other fires, managing digestive disturbances, managing pathogens in the gut, managing poor gut bacteria or overgrowth, managing autoimmune illnesses or other inflammatory conditions, it does not prioritize digestion. And therefore you could be eating a rock solid diet, you could be following my Egg Quality Diet book to a T or my, Yes, You Can Get Pregnant Diet to a T and not seeing shifts. And you know why? Because your body can't absorb the nutrition because it's focusing on other things because it doesn't feel safe to fully digest and absorb that nutrition. It's got other things to focus on. It can't prioritize.

Safety when it comes to nervous system, safety when it comes to digestion. How is my digestion? Chinese medicine, we are all about your poop. I want to know everything about your poop. I want to know how often it comes, I want to know the color, I want to know the shape, I want to know the consistency, the frequency. I want to know all the things. Tells me so much about how you are doing in that nourishment department.

And then next level is, yeah, what are you consuming? Are you consuming nutrition or foods that are supportive to your health and your hormones? Protein, fat, antioxidants. That's the basis of the diet. Are you consuming those things? How often are you consuming them? Are you going long gaps between meals? That does not create a sense of safety in the body. 12 hours at night, fine, I'm fine with that. The eight to eight, fine with that. Not for everybody, but these are all general. If you want really specific, come and work with me and my team. But generally speaking, the 12 hours from 8:00 PM to 8:00 AM, fine. Everything else, though, no longer than really three hours max. Some women will go four. But that creates a sense of chaos in the body. I am being starved. That's what the body thinks. I don't know what my next meal is going to be. I'm not sure. I'm not sure what I'm going to get out of that meal, if it's going to be nutritious or not or if it's just going to be a coffee on an empty stomach at 3:00 in the afternoon. That is not sustainable to life, not to your life long term, and definitely not to the life you're creating.

Thinking about that. Again, I'm going to repeat myself because I think redundancy is so important here. Safety when it comes to my psychological wellbeing. Am I in a state of chronic fight or flight? Or am 70% of the time, do I feel calm, cool, and collected like I got a plan? I have my planner. Without my planner, I got my notes. Without that, I do, I feel a sense of chaos. I see that emails building up in my inbox. I need to be all things to all people. I can create this real sense of chaos in my life. And then I got family and I got this and I got that. Am I spread too thin? Do I feel overwhelmed? Or do I feel like, okay, this is when I focus on this and then this is when I get to focus on this, and then this is when I get to focus on this? And yes, there's still a lot on my plate, that the amount of things on my plate has not changed, how I'm reacting and responding creates a sense of safety or not in my body. Same thing with diet. How am I absorbing and digesting my food? Is my body focused on other things because it's got other fires to put out? Then how am I nourishing myself from a food perspective?

“All is true. The two times I got pregnant, I was in a very safe mode as a reflexologist. I find these words really wonderful and useful.” Well, thank you so much. Yeah, and there is also interesting research that when women are feeling very safe, but meaning physical harm safe, they ovulate more regularly. Fascinating. And of course, physical harm is a whole other topic. And generally speaking, I'm not addressing that. I really think there's people with different degrees and licensing that should be in that department, not me. I'm an acupuncturist, herbalist, author. I do have a handful of degrees, but none of them in psychology, and so that is why I do have a team psychotherapist now because this shit is real and you deserve a real professional to address things of that nature. Fortunately, in my line of work, I don't see a lot of women dealing with physical harm in the home space, but it's real and it happens. And it's scary and it's sad and you deserve support there.

But I'm talking more generally like am I safe with Aimee? Or am I the mean girl to Aimee every day in my brain? And then you to you. How do you talk to yourself? That's a real sense of safety. And then we extrapolate that further. How do I nourish myself? Food is one act of nourishment. Am I taking the time to listen to what my body needs, to support it and support myself in the desire of my goals, in the pursuit of my goals?

And then nourishment, not just from a food perspective, how am I nourishing myself sleep wise, movement wise, relationship wise? Am I allowing myself to feel safe in relationships? Am I allowing myself to create a sense of safety for others in relationships? Am I allowing myself the safety of a good night's rest so that I can heal and recover and start my day fresh? Or am I sabotaging? Am I binge watching at night and not sleeping enough and not giving my relationship time, not making time for, if you're in a relationship, for the intimate parts of relationship? And sex isn't just one part, conversation, communication, holding hands, kissing, intimacy, that thing, am I allowing that? And am I allowing my partner to feel that sense of safety? Am I blocked? Am I not in receiving mode? Am I in defense mode? Or am I open and evolving and receiving? That's also very good for the nervous system. But am I letting others nourish me? So many factors. I agree, Margo, so many factors.

I really like when I'm on a case… And I'm on 12 cases a week, I think, is my average right now, maybe more. I was in the clinic this week, I had 17 cases in one day so I'm on a lot of cases. But what I look at is how is this body responding to its environment? Is it getting everything it needs? And again, not perfection. It's almost like reliability. It's the way of building trust in a relationship. Have you built that sense of trust in the relationship with you? I always say, “Consistency and frequency is what gets us to the finish line.”

I want you to think about that. How am I creating a sense of safety? Where was it? Safety is a state in which hazards and conditions leading to physical, psychological, or material harm are controlled in order to preserve the health and wellbeing of individuals and the community. There's a million definitions of safety. But what are we doing? Freedom from the occurrence of risk, danger, loss. We're creating this sense of, I think, reliability, of consistent reliability; that your body knows without fail… Again slash human error, that we're all human. I'm going to give it 70%, 80% of the time I'm going to sleep seven to eight hours every night, I'm going to drink enough water, I'm going to feed myself good quality food on a regular basis; I'm not going to go and skip meals. I'm going to approach all my duties with a sense of ease and flow. Again, for the most part, we're human, shit happens, life happens. I'm going to take the time for me.

So much about nourishment too is what are you doing for your soul? I just finished up my 2023 intentions. It's taken me a couple days. Well, obviously it's the 12th so it's taken me 12 days. I wrapped up 2022. I did the whole Melissa Ambrosini one that I shared with my stories. It's so good. I can share it again, but you can just go to her. I think it's how to have a kick 2023, Melissa Ambrosini. But it was really about wrapping up 2022, learning from 2022. What were your wins? What were the things you've learned from? And then stepping into 2023 and setting those intentions.

But one of the questions that I thought was great, and it's about self-love and self nourishment, are what are three hobbies that you do just for you? And so for me, things I want to do more of like reading, I really enjoy actually sewing, I enjoy designing things in my home and working on that type of thing. Where are your outlets? How are you nourishing your soul? And that could be a retreat, that could be doing meditation every day, that could be cooking, that could be taking piano lessons again or dance lessons or learning a new language. And what I find in the community, the trying to conceive community, everything's put on hold until I get that baby. The only focus is what is my FSH this month? How many follicles do I have? Did my LH surge at a certain point in time?

And it's not about nourishment, it's about checking the boxes, it's about trying so hard, efforting so hard to create this child versus tuning into creating a sense of… We don't even have to use the word safety if we don't want to, but a sense of ease, a sense of freedom, a sense of… I had a bunch of acronyms. Safety. You guys can also tune in. What are some other words instead of safety that feel good to you? Freedom, security, assurance. I like those. Sanctuary, refuge.

I like the idea of freedom. Comfort. That's a good one. “I'm a classical violinist and my brother is floored that I'm not playing. I should probably play again.” You really should, Margo. Years ago now… I think the child is, gosh, got to be like seven at this point. But that was a big shift I remember seeing in one of my patients who was in the straw golf for years. And when she started working with me, we really got into, “What are some things that used to do that lifted your soul?” I talk about it in Yes, You Can Get Pregnant. What else are you giving birth to? What else are you doing for you? And she was like, “I used to play piano lessons. I used to play piano, and I loved it. And I have to stand up, and I don't even play it anymore.” And so it was like that was one of her homework assignments; you got to get back to piano lessons. She did. And as the story would go, maybe she had one more IVF cycle that sucked, but then the next IVF cycle worked, and here we are. And we joke about it. It was like, “All I had to do is play piano. All six years, I just had to get back to playing piano.”

And it was like, no, we did a lot of things. And I think supplements fall into that too to help create that sense of safety. There's a lot of little things that we do that add up to telling the body, “You're resilient, you're strong. I got you. I'm there for you. You can rely on me. You can rely on these actions I'm going to take every day to create this environment for you so that you can thrive and flourish.”

But what does that look like for you? And I think the first step, though, in order to shift the foundations of your fertility, is being honest with yourself. Do you have a safe, kind, loving conversation with yourself in the privacy of your own mind? Do you approach your diet from a safe, nourishing perspective? Do your relationships feel safe and nourishing? Are you able to speak your truth and be heard? Are you feeling supported and safe? Or are you running ragged and trying to connect all the dots and do all the things in the name of baby, in the sake of baby?

I'm going to leave you with those thoughts and ponderings, and I'm going to go and do some things to nourish myself because it's my time now. I will see you guys all again very soon. And I thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your life and your journey. And know that I'm cheering for you.

And I really want you to just contemplate that piece, the foundational piece. 20 years of clinical experience, thousands of women, really do think it comes down to this sense of nourishment and safety. I love you guys. Have a beautiful day.


VISIT MY WEBSITE: Aimee Raupp is a licensed herbalist, natural fertility expert and acupuncturist in NYC, offering natural fertility treatment, care & coaching solutions to women who want to get pregnant! Aimeeraupp.com

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About Aimee Raupp, MS, LAc

Aimee Raupp, MS, LAc, is a renowned women’s health & wellness expert and the best- selling author of the books Chill Out & Get Healthy, Yes, You Can Get Pregnant, and Body Belief. A licensed acupuncturist and herbalist in private practice in New York, she holds a Master of Science degree in Traditional Oriental Medicine from the Pacific College of Oriental Medicine and a Bachelor’s degree in biology from Rutgers University. Aimee is also the founder of the Aimee Raupp Beauty line of hand-crafted, organic skincare products. This article was reviewed AimeeRaupp.com's editorial team and is in compliance with our editorial policy.


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