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Ask Aimee Anything: Dining Out & Surviving Holiday Parties while #TTC (and MORE!) {EXPERT FERTILITY ADVICE}

In this video, we focus on dining out and surviving parties during the holidays. NONE of us want to be “the weird one” with a restrictive diet around friends and family. And maybe you feel left out while everyone is enjoying cocktails and hors d'oeuvres while you’re following a fertility eating plan. In this video I answer your questions about this topic, and any other fertility questions you may have! 

Happy holidays to all who celebrate! 

Drop a comment below with your thoughts! 

Disclaimer: Please keep in mind that I am not a medical doctor. I have been a practitioner of Traditional Chinese Medicine for over 17 years and I will be speaking from my clinical experience helping thousands of women conceive. The office of Aimee E. Raupp, M.S., L.Ac and Aimee Raupp Wellness & Fertility Centers and all personnel associated with the practice do not use social media to convey medical advice. This video will be posted to Aimee’s channels to educate and inspire others on the fertility journey.


Aimee Raupp:

Hello, hello. How are you guys? Let people come on live because this is a Q and A, so you get to come to me and ask me questions. Let's try to make them about how are we going to survive the holidays? Since we have how many days left of 2022? I don't know, eight to 10, something like that. I can't even do the math. I think nine days left.

But this is a Q and A, so what I want from you guys is to use the question box below. I'm not going to be able to answer questions in the comments. But use the question box below, and I want you to start asking me questions about… Oh, you love my shirt? Thank you. This is from Paris a few years ago, probably 10 years ago, if I'm really honest. I went with my mom before I was married. It's probably nine years ago.

Okay. I am using a filter right now, but thank you. I'm glowing and beautiful as usual. There is a filter on this, just a little, little one because they're fun. But let's see, what is different about the filter? Probably my eyebrows and my color. It looks like I have a little more makeup on than I actually do, but otherwise I think it's still me.

Okay, so you guys, ask questions in the question box. I saw a question but I'm not going to answer it until it goes in the question box. You see that little, oh yeah, the little question mark? Here we go. Let's see. Oh, you did it. Okay, what do you recommend?

Technically this is a Q and A about surviving the holidays, but because I'm feeling very generous and I love you all, you could ask me anything fertility related. How about that today? Let's just go for it. But if you have questions around dining out during holidays or dealing with people saying, “Where's your baby? Are you guys going to grow your family?” Stuff like that, I can really help.

So fun, this filter. I know isn't it fun? It's the first one. I think it's an Asian woman on it. It's the first one that pops up, at least when I'm on my lives. Some of them are, they make my lips look big and stuff, but this is just like, oh, it's nice. It's like I went and got makeup done. Questions. I'm going to answer the questions in the question box. I saw the PCOS one, so you guys just keep on coming through, asking questions.

Another thing I wanted to remind you is that all my workshops and guides on my website, aimeeraupp.com/workshops, are all 50% off right now through Saturday, 12/24. The most popular one right now is my fertility enhancing bundle because you get so much with I. You're going to get this free video series on improving FSH and AMH, you get my meditations, you get my acupressure guide, and you get a tapping video, which is really powerful if you don't know about EFT. And it's normally $72 but since it's half off, it's only $36. And it's been selling hot cakes, so if you guys want in on that. And I just updated it. It used to have a different video and I updated it to an even better video because I was like, “Why not give you guys more bang for your buck?” Because you deserve it. But if you had to aimeeraupp.com/workshops with an S and use the promo code upgrade fertility, yeah, upgrade fertility, it's 50% off.

Allie, I saw your question. Post it in the question box, please. I'm letting questions build up in there, and then I'm going to go in. There's a handful now. I just want to make sure, is that the promo code, upgrade fertility? I think so. Either way, check that out because everything's on sale right now because why not give you guys some extra tools? My meditations are great too if you want those. They're only $7.50 now. It's amazing, meaning the half off, $7.50 cents for five meditations. I just want to see. I think it's upgrade fertility.

Okay, so I'm going to start getting the questions. What do you recommend for PCOS and restoring ovulation? Really, for PCOS, I think twofold: improving blood flow and circulation to the ovaries. I think about castor oil packs, which I was doing one later here… earlier. Here's still my hot water bottle. And I have the Aimee Raupp beauty fertility activating castor oil, doing castor oil packs daily, abdominal gua sha, acupuncture; those are all amazing ways to help restore ovulation from a very functional perspective.

And then you want to think about dealing with inflammation. Ovasitol as one of the best supplements for PCOS. I like the Theralogix brand. It's on my website under Aimee's Recommended Supplements. You can go there, and if you go to that link you actually get a discount because it's not cheap. But it's a powder. And I would take four grams a day. I would follow the dietary recommendations at the minimum that I have. And yes, you can get pregnant, but if you really want a deep dive, then you could also… That's so cool. How did someone make it a Q and A? Oh, I see, because the questions. That's so cool. See that little Q and A thing up at the top, I've never seen that before. But if not, take the deep dive and do the egg quality diet. Exercise, movement. Acupuncture with electrical stimulation can really help induce ovulation as well. I like Wobenzym as a digest… It's a digestive enzyme but also helps break up stagnation and accumulation, which are the cysts. Those are some good starting points for you.

“I'm 44 and I want a baby. Regular periods. Where should I start?” Have sex. Start with the egg quality diet. That's like really where it'll dive you in, it'll really dial in your nutrition. And then check out the resources page that goes with the egg quality diet, which has a ton of resources beyond diet for you. But that's where I would start, so making sure you're getting to sleep, movement, diet, supplements, mindset; those are the big ones. Sleep, you need to be in bed before 11:00 PM. You need to be sleeping seven to eight hours, moving your body five days a week, 30 to 45 minutes, eating a nutrient dense diet, getting rid of all the chemicals in your environment.

The older we get, of course, sure, egg quality diminishes, but it's a little different than that. You could have shitty eggs at any age, really, and you can have good eggs at any age, I think, from what I see clinically. It's really about how the environment and your stress and your lifestyle has impacted you and at what rate you are aging. The older we get, the more sensitive we get, the more easily the pipes get clogged is how I look at it. And so you want to be a little more aggressive with your approach. And the egg quality diet is definitely the way to be the most aggressive you could be diet wise. Get that rock down solid, sleep, movement, mindset, all of that really important.

Okay, “How do you deal with family gatherings and questions around starting a family?” This is really what the topic's about. I think you do you. I think you set expectations. You know you're headed to this family gathering, run through the scenarios in your head. What are the questions that might come up? What are the conversations that might come up? And come up with your own responses. Maybe even write them down, have a script. If you're in a partnership, talk to your partner about, “Okay, so this is what I expect Aunt Matilda to say to me. And she's going to ask why do we not have a family yet? What do we want to say? Do we want to be honest and just say we've had a rough year and I hope to have good news soon? Or do we want to just say we're hoping to grow our family as soon as possible? Or do I want to say I don't really feel like talking about it because I'm dealing with some challenges, and it's quite depressing and so I just want to focus on family and gratitude right now. Maybe another time we could have a conversation.” You do you.

But I think I do really think if it feels good to you, don't force yourself, but the more we talk about this shit, the more people are going to get educated and change. And so you do you in the way that feels right to you, but don't shy away from sharing your truth. “I've had a hard year. Yeah, it's been really challenging. We want nothing more than to have a family, and I hope to have good news soon.” I think that's such a beautiful way to be honest and also end on an up note.

And then you'd be so surprised, half the time you share… I always see it with me when I'm like, “Yeah, I had a miscarriage. It sucks. And then it changed things for us.” And so people are like, “Oh my god.” And then they tell me about their miscarriage and then they tell me about what they came through and then da-da-da-da-da. And granted, I do this for a living and most people know that in my circle, but sharing lifts the shame, so however it feels right to you.

But you could also always not go to the gathering, you could opt out of conversations like that, you can excuse yourself, go to the bathroom, cry. I had one patient yesterday, or one client yesterday, we were doing a coaching session, and she was like, “I just don't want to get blindsided at Christmas when my younger cousin tells me she's pregnant because she's probably going to be pregnant because they just got married and she's 25,” or whatever. We talked it through, how to not be blindsided. Almost set your expectations. Okay, let's prepare myself. My heart is prepared that someone at this party is going to tell me that they're expecting, and it's going to hurt, and so what am I going to do? If I feel like I'm going to cry, I'm going to excuse myself or go to the bathroom. I could also, in the moment, say, “I'm so happy for you.” And then I could say to someone else that feels safe, “I'm so happy for them, but I'm so sad for me. It really hurts.” Or just your game face is on, however you do you. I hope that's a good enough answer.

Let's see. “Starting stage adeno. Is it possible to conceive naturally?” For certain, for certain. Sometimes adeno can really impact implantation. Really, again, egg quality diet is where it's at for you. You really want to reduce inflammation. Castor oil packs, Wobenzym, abdominal gua sha, acupuncture, Chinese herbs, I would do all the things because adeno can impact things. And then if you wind up getting pregnant and have a loss… And I would really look into working with a reproductive immunologist and see anything else to do there. Sometimes Depot Lupron for a month or two.

Okay. Sorry, I already answered that question. “Thoughts on Vitex.” I don't typically recommend it because I'm an herbalist, I'm a Chinese herbalist. And we use Vitex in our formulas, and we never use individual herbs. It's just not how I'm trained, and so I tend to not use Vitex. If Vitex is meant to work, it'll work for you right away. If it doesn't, it can actually… I've seen it not do great things for menstrual cycles. It either is going to help with ovulation and/or progesterone or it's not. But I really strongly urge working with an herbalist to be on herbs. Don't just haphazardly take herbs. I think it's reckless. I'm not calling you reckless. The outward recommendations of herbs by non-herbalists is upsetting to me and I think unethical.

Okay, now I got to find out where I am. Okay. “Vitamin D3 and D, are they the same thing?” Not really. I guess D three is apparently the most of what we need to get our vitamin D levels up. And there's also an interesting study that I was reading with one of my coaches, Sarah, showing that low vitamin D levels directly impact implantation. You really want your vitamin D levels in a healthy range, in the 50 to 70 range if you're in the United States. But you want that above average vitamin D level. It does impact implantation, it also impacts AMH. It is not a vitamin, it's actually a hormone so it impacts all your hormones. Vitamin D's really important, guys.

“May I talk about flow state?” I think you mean menstrual flow. Is that what you mean? This is what I'm going to do, I'm going to read from my book, Yes, You Can Get Pregnant, because I talk about it in here. I'm going to give you the tip of the iceberg from here, and then I want you to maybe get the book if you don't have it and read about it. But a regular menstrual cycle occurs regularly. In here I say 28 to 35 days, but I also think a woman could have a 40 day cycle and be totally normal. The flow should be bright red and come and go in a tapered fashion. The first one to two days are the heaviest, about six to eight teaspoons of blood per day or six to eight regular tampons or three to four supers. And the flow tapers off gently over the next two to three days, about two to four teaspoons of blood or two to four regular tampons, pads. There should be minimal clotting with slight breast tenderness and very little cramping. There you go.

Okay. “I had minimal reactions in the re-intro phase of egg quality diet. Does that mean these foods are safe?” It does. Woo hoo. Good job doing the re-intro, girl. And for any of you who have read Egg Quality Diet and love it, like it, don't like it, leave a review for me on Amazon. It helps me reach more readers, and I really, really, deeply appreciate that. I give you guys so much of me all the tim, so give me 10 minutes of your time and go leave a review on Amazon. Thank you.

“If we are doing all the recommended suggestions but not pregnant yet, had to deal.” Yeah, it sucks. It's hard. That's the hardest part, that what if I'm doing all the things I need to do? And so then it's being in the space of peace and acceptance with that, that I am enough, I am worthy, and now it might not be on my timing, it might be the baby's timing of deciding when it's the right time for them to come through. Staying in that space of acceptance and preparedness that my vessel is prepared, my home is prepared, my heart is prepared.

Making sure too that you're staying in that space of rest, relax versus fight or flight. Very important. And we can't avoid fight or flight, it's pretty normal, but I want you in rest, relax 60% to 70% of the time versus fight or flight 60% to 70% of the time because, believe it or not, the state of your nervous system plays a critical role in your fertility. And you could be doing all the right things, diet, supplements, lifestyle, but still really stressed out, really functioning or not sleeping enough or worry, worry, worry, or am I enough? Am I doing this? Am I doing that? The filter is not impacting my eyes. I saw your post. Thank you, Asan. But staying in that space of I am enough, I am doing enough. I don't have to be perfect to get pregnant. And I trust the timing in my life even though I want this thing really bad and I wanted it yesterday.

Okay, “Did the 30 day reboot and staying in phase three until after the holidays so I can pay attention to my kinks when I reintroduce foods. Feeling great. Had repeat bloods. My cholesterol went from 195 to 243. Taking MetagenicsOmega 3,000 a day.” I would do the Wobenzym or some kind of digestive enzyme. I would add in an enzyme. That should help you. Or even BTNHCL. That should help with the cholesterol. Thank you for doing the reboot and staying in the things.

I have 10 more minutes because then I have a call. “How do I determine if I need thyroid medication for fertility with Hashimoto's?” You got to do a complete thyroid panel. And if everything's not right smack in the middle of the ranges… TSH needs to be between a one and a 2.5, free T3, free T4 needs to be smack in the middle of those ranges. And chances are, you need to work with a functional medicine doctor to get the right prescription, if you need it or not.

“What test is good to test after having a miscarriage?” First of all, I'm sorry, miscarriages suck. A miscarriage panel. If you go to… Is it aimeeraupp.com/miscarriage? Let's see. Yeah, go to aimeeraupp.com/miscarriage and get the free PDF. I have a whole list of tests to get done. Aimeeraupp.com/miscarriage, and then enter your information and there's a PDF there that you'll get. And sending you love because miscarriages blow.

“Should I say no to having a piece of cake and a donut for dessert and have fruit?” It depends. Once in a while. We're all human. You do the best you can do. I'd prefer fruit over donut and cake on a regular basis, but once in a while, you might want to enjoy it.

“I had my first egg retrieval ever, but the follicles were empty. 48 and following the egg quality diet.” Keep at it, keep at it. More fats, more fats and less meds. If they pumped you up with meds, do less meds or no meds; try a natural or a mini IVF. Which I'm assuming at 48 you probably did, but that's the other thing to think about.

“Should I bring my own food to a gathering so I'm not tempted by sweets?” I'd do that. Or I'd call ahead and offer, “What can I bring?” And I'll bring some kind of Aimee friendly food and some kind of Aimee friendly treat. I might make a yummy organic chocolate cake or something like that that's gluten free. Or I'll bring fruit and coconut whipped cream. I whip it myself. I can make the coconut cream myself. That's delicious. But there's also lots of… Paleo Running Mama, she's one of my favorite recipe sites. It's paleorunningmama.com. And she's also on Instagram. But she has some amazing, delicious desserts that, sure, some of it has a little more sugar, but it's still gluten-free, dairy free, all the things. And that's what I'll do.

“I'm 45 and turning 46 in March. My AMH is 0.96. Is it possible for me to conceive naturally?” Sure. Why not? That's a good AMH. If you're ovulating and menstruating, you should be able to do it. Do all the things, the diet, the lifestyle, the supplements, get my books. Follow the protocol to give yourself the best chances possible. Get sperm checked if you're at all concerned about sperm health. But of course. This week alone, two 46 year olds have come to me. One I knew about. We've made it past the point of 17 weeks, healthy baby, and then another one emailed me that she was waiting until she got past I think 15 weeks. They know the sex, they know all the things, healthy baby too. 46. And they're both going to be 47 when they give birth. Natural conceptions. For 2022, I think that puts me above 10 to 12 women above the age of 40s, 46 are higher that have gotten pregnant. I think all of them naturally. I'd have to go back and look. Now, one's with IVF, but all with their own eggs and all healthy children. Yeah.

“Tips for insomnia. I follow good sleep hygiene. No blue light routine. I feel like ashwagandha has really helped, but not sure if it's safe while trying to conceive.” Yeah, ashwagandha is okay while trying to conceive. Again, another Chinese herb, magnesium. My magnesium spray that I make on Aimee Raupp Beauty, it's called Magnes Oil, that helps me sleep amazingly well. And anybody who buys it says the same thing. I do eight to 10 sprays on my abdomen or thighs or on your feet before bed. Magnesium, gaba, but that's not necessarily pregnancy safe. You could do that in the follicular phase. You could do it in pregnancy in the two week wait, but I'd stop once you're pregnant. Melatonin, I only recommend one milligram or less. Too high of melatonin is no good for us. It can make us feel really foggy. But that's also safe while trying to conceive. I would stop once you're pregnant. Magnesium's the best. And then also making sure your blood sugar's balanced throughout the day, that you're eating 80 grams of protein and eating every three-ish hours with protein in each meal really help keeps your blood sugar even. And that will, believe it or not, really impact your sleep.

“When you talk about fats, what kind of foods do you mean?” Avocado, olive oil, nuts, seeds, coconut oil, gi, butter if you can do dairy, animal protein that have good quality fats like eggs, meat, all that.

Oh, thank you. You're welcome. Okay, four minutes. “Tips for taking care of your body while trying to conceive and traveling so you're off food, sleep, exercise, routines.” Do the best you can do. When I travel, I'm bringing my collagen peptide packets. If we're driving, I'm making hard boiled eggs. I travel with these guys. Oh, these are another good source of fat, by the way, the pork rinds. I love these. Coconut yogurt is another good source of fat. I'll also do stuff like this. This is actually at room temperature. I add a scoop of collagen peptides to this. And this is a really good greens formula. It's all organic. This one actually has the fruit in it. I wouldn't do this one. Do the one with just the greens. This is the wrong one. I just realized it's on my desk. I was about to drink it. It's the wrong one. It's fine, it's not harmful. But I'll do stuff like that.

And then when I'm out, I just try to be the best I can be at picking… A lot of restaurants these days have organic chicken or something grass fed, like a grass fed burger, so maybe I'll get the burger without the bun and a side of… Some places up near me have gluten-free sweet potato fries. Maybe I'll do that or maybe I'll do a side of a vegetable or I'll choose a fish. A lot of places have wild salmon. I'll go with that. I just try to keep it really simple. And I usually always tell restaurants that I'm gluten, dairy and soy allergy even though I'm not, but that way I know that they're cooking with the cleanest thing possible for my food because a lot of restaurants use soy oil and they're cooking or some vegetable oil that most people feel really up… their stomach gets really upset from, so I usually always do that. And I'll say I have a gluten, dairy and soy allergy, and so then I'm treated like…

And that's it. I travel with my beef sticks, I have my pork rinds, I have my coconut chips. If we're doing a road trip… We just did one for Thanksgiving, I made a dozen hard boiled eggs. I had those. I brought Lara bars because I can have certain nuts. I brought fruit.

If we're traveling on a plane, same thing, I actually make some food. I'll bring a yogurt, one of my coconut yogurts. And then I just try to make the best choices I can. And I know not everywhere, but most every town these days has some kind of natural food store of some sort, and so I might suss that out before I go and plan to go there and get some food. I bring my own coffee when I travel, my own tea. I'm a bit anal about that. And then if I'm going somewhere that I'm going to be staying and I know the address ahead of time, like in Airbnb or somebody's house, I'll actually ship products from Amazon so that I have everything I need, or at least the basics.

And then the one-offs, fine. If my sister-in-law is cooking a meal and I know she's not using all organic or blah, blah, blah, I just do the best I can do. I just try to make sure there's still at least a gluten-free option for myself or I eat around the gluten. Again, we're human. As long as you don't have celiac or an anaphylaxis to certain foods, we can have them in moderation and they're not going to really set us back.

Okay. I have one more question because then I have a call at 1:00. “Do you think metformin is helpful for egg quality?” Yes, it is. “Or Inositol. Many miscarriages.” Yeah, I would try both. If you haven't done Inositol or Myo-Inositol, do that first. If you've also had multiple miscarriages, you need a miscarriage panel, so go to aimeeraupp.com/miscarriage, make sure you've gotten all those tests. That's where I would also go. Baby aspirin in the luteal phase always.

And I have a call now at 1:00. Thank you, guys. This was great live Q and A. Love you all. Happy, happy, merry, merry. Have a beautiful rest of 2022 ,and I'll see you guys in 2023.


VISIT MY WEBSITE: Aimee Raupp is a licensed herbalist, natural fertility expert and acupuncturist in NYC, offering natural fertility treatment, care & coaching solutions to women who want to get pregnant! Aimeeraupp.com

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About Aimee Raupp, MS, LAc

Aimee Raupp, MS, LAc, is a renowned women’s health & wellness expert and the best- selling author of the books Chill Out & Get Healthy, Yes, You Can Get Pregnant, and Body Belief. A licensed acupuncturist and herbalist in private practice in New York, she holds a Master of Science degree in Traditional Oriental Medicine from the Pacific College of Oriental Medicine and a Bachelor’s degree in biology from Rutgers University. Aimee is also the founder of the Aimee Raupp Beauty line of hand-crafted, organic skincare products. This article was reviewed AimeeRaupp.com's editorial team and is in compliance with our editorial policy.

One comment;

  1. Just want to say you are looking particularly BEAUTIFUL and radiant in this video! Definitely wear white more often, too. Mwah! x

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