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Story of Hope: How Letting Go of Perfection Allowed Her Baby to Come Through!

I have another BRAND NEW Story of Hope for you! In this video we go through a case, share their struggles, and talk about what we did together to overcome them and rejuvenate their fertility.

Enroll in my YES, You Can Get Pregnant eCourse here: aimeeraupp.com/yes

SEE TRANSCRIPT BELOW OR CLICK ON THE IMAGE ABOVE FOR THE FULL VIDEO.

Aimee Raupp:

Hi everyone. I am so excited to be here with all of you and to come to you with one of my coaching clients, Judy. Together,, her and I are going to share her story of hope and how she got to her dream baby. I hope you guys just take what you can from it. I'm sure you're going to see parts of yourself in Judy's story and also just understand how one woman like you got to the other side and did receive her child.

Judy, thank you so much for being here. I'm so honored that you want to come and share your story with all these other women that are still dreaming of their dream baby.

Judy:

Of course. I'm really happy to be here. Like many of you, and everyone who might be watching, or listening, or reading one of Aimee's books, I think I might have been maybe right before I turned 40. I was 39-

Aimee Raupp:

Yes. 39 when you came to me. Yeah.

Judy:

And for the record, I'm 42 now. I picked up Aimee's book, Yes, You Can Get Pregnant. I was reading it. I remember I was on a plane and I read the whole thing in probably a day or two. I probably reached out to her team shortly after to start coaching when my husband and I decided we were going to probably start trying for our third baby. It didn't take that long for me to get pregnant shortly after. There were probably just a few adjustments that we had to make to the diet. I was already eating pretty healthy.

Aimee Raupp:

You were, I think the biggest thing was, if I remember, let's see, I have… There was that coffee drink you were doing in the morning that I didn't love. 10 ounces of organic coffee, 10 ounces, collagen peptide scoop, hemp seeds, ghee, MCT. I think, what you did was you switched that up, you added some bone broth and cut back on the coffee. That was a big switch. Then we-

Judy:

Added the key supplements, the spirulina, the fish oil, the liver… Adjusted some of my portions and stuff like that. Did some of the-

Aimee Raupp:

Tell them about before too, before you came to. You had an ectopic… You had two other children though, tell us. So there-

Judy:

I have a nine year old and a six year old. In between the nine and six year old I also had two miscarriages. Getting pregnant has not always come easily to me. Before picking up Aimee's book, we also thought, “Well, maybe in the future we can try IVF and put some embryos on ice.” I think, in 2018 we had done some IVF and failed. I think I did two rounds and it didn't even work.

Aimee Raupp:

It didn't work. You had also discovered that you had Factor V and the MTHFR. We already knew that you needed Lovenox with a pregnancy, but that alone wasn't solving the problem, if you will, of the challenges. Yeah.

Judy:

Right. We tweaked the diet, got some supplements. I got rid of some of the chemicals that I hadn't been aware of, but otherwise, we were pretty chemical free-

Aimee Raupp:

One more thing, we added in more carbs, remember? You were low on the carbs. I had you add in a whole sweet potato a day, if I remember.

Judy:

Yes. Which I was a little bit resistant of at first, but then I welcomed it because it was really good. I think I gained a little bit of weight because I tried to get back up to what my pre-pregnancy weight was when I had gotten pregnant before. I gained a little, maybe five or six pounds. I got pregnant, I don't know, within a month of coaching… Yeah. Then lockdown happened for Covid and the day that schools' canceled and closed everything is when I had the miscarriage, which is really hard in a way, but at the same time it was also a big distraction for everybody. I was a bit preoccupied with that as well.

Aimee Raupp:

Yeah. How far along were you with that loss?

Judy:

Six weeks.

Aimee Raupp:

Yeah. We were doing the Lovenox and we had incorporated the changes so we knew something more was going on there, if you will.

Judy:

Yeah. It was the same time and same pattern with my other miscarriages that I had had between my other girls. It felt similar to those. I didn't send any of the tissue in for testing, so we didn't really know why. Then after that, I think we kept doing some more coaching. I stayed on the diet and because of the challenges with Covid and work, my husband was like, “This isn't a good time to try.” With my personality I'm like, “I got to get back on the saddle and try again.” That was really hard for me being like, “Well, if we're not trying again then what am I supposed to do?” I think, we kept coaching maybe for three or four months.

Aimee Raupp:

Let's see, into 2021 basically. Well, we started… Yeah, we did. We started in January, of 2019 and I have notes here too from as far up to as May… end of May, 2020.

Judy:

It was Covid, so nobody went anywhere. I found myself repeating Aimee's eCourse and watching some of the Facebook recorded sessions like this and Stories of Hope while I was going on a walk. I was trying to figure out, “What am I going to do?” And kept thinking, “Well, what did I do wrong and how can I fix this?” I started feeling like maybe something that I haven't worked on is the emotional piece or the spiritual piece and I wanted to connect with the spiritual side. I really felt strongly that we had… There was a baby that wanted to come through and it hadn't dawned on me that I was really trying to make a baby come into this life on my terms, when in reality that's probably not how it works.

Judy:

These spirits and babies all have their own timelines that we need to respect. That's a lesson that I have now learned. At the time, I was really just so fixated on controlling everything that I started working on the emotional part and spiritual part that Aimee talks about so much in her course, that I started-

Aimee Raupp:

As you said before we started recording, you said the question I asked you.

Judy:

Right. She asked me, “If I could promise you that you would get pregnant and you would have this third baby?” She said, “I'm not going to give you a time of when, but if I could promise that this would happen, what would you do differently?” And I remember thinking, “Well, I'd go live my life and I'd stop controlling everything and I'd be able to breathe again.” And she said, “Well, then why don't you go do that?” I remember that concept felt so strange to me, “Well, I can't do that.” And then I thought, “Well, maybe that's what I need to do.” That was really a hard pill for me to swallow, but it was also Covid and I had nothing else to really focus on and we weren't going to keep trying. That's what I did.

Judy:

I slowly started letting go to the point where I 100% let go and made peace with not having another baby and having two children. I saw my future of just having two little girls and it was fine. Then I surprise, got pregnant, two years later with this little baby that's three months old and upstairs hanging out with our nanny. It was just a really crazy way for things to come full circle. It was definitely the way that things were meant to be.

Aimee Raupp:

During that time, the letting go process or that surrender piece… We hadn't been talking at that point. You would check in here and there, send an email or I would check in on you. Then of course, you did check in when you found out you were pregnant. I don't think you found out till you were almost eight weeks, right? Wasn't it something like that? Did you know-

Judy:

Yeah, I think I was maybe five or six weeks. I knew because I could tell something was not right or different.

Aimee Raupp:

During that time, did you… diet, and supplement wise, and lifestyle wise? I mean, you were always… That's what you said in the beginning of this of like, “She came to me already doing so many of the things that there were small tweaks that we made.” What would you say was your general approach to life at that point in time as far as health is concerned?

Judy:

Well, I mean regardless of trying or not, I felt so much healthier on the diet. I felt so much healthier with the supplements. Knock on wood, I stopped getting sick and felt like I was so much healthier with taking the spirulina and the fish oil, the cod… The stuff in the blue bottle and that's what I call it. I still take it. I never took a prenatal. I took all of those other things. I felt like that was just the way that I adjusted my life regardless if I was trying or not.

Judy:

When I found out that I was pregnant, I literally had to take a step back and think, “Is this something that I can even think about or picture our family with?” I had let go that much. It was so far from where I had been two years before. I honestly think it's such a blessing, but yet, something that was really meant to be. I wouldn't have been able to do it without meeting you and getting myself prepared. Definitely not at 42.

Aimee Raupp:

Yeah, 42. I just had a question. What was it? Just thinking about in that timeframe of getting pregnant, so was the trying back on the table or not even then for you guys? Not at all?

Judy:

No.

Aimee Raupp:

Okay.

Judy:

Because I had the ectopic and I had that one fallopian tube, we just didn't really think that without… We didn't really think that I could get pregnant without really trying that hard. We didn't think it was going to happen.

Aimee Raupp:

You did the Lovenox through that pregnancy too?

Judy:

Yeah.

Aimee Raupp:

And no hiccups there whatsoever obviously, she came out the other side, which is just amazing. Yeah, I suppose too, of thinking back before we did our work together and I guess the emotional piece and the unpacking because looking at that version of yourself… And I think thinking about a lot of the women that are watching this of like, what would be your advice? Even from approaching that feeling good and healthy perspective, but also that living your life perspective… What do you think you could say to that version of you that she would hear, actually?

Judy:

I mean, it's always easier said than done to let go and to not try. If you can take just some baby steps to do something for yourself or to reclaim a little bit of your life or answer that question that you asked me, “What would you do if I promised you that you could get pregnant?” Or, whatever that goal is and just do a little bit of that just because I think that part was so important towards me achieving bringing Eva into this world at the time that she came in without me even really knowing it or trying for her to.

Aimee Raupp:

That too, I feel like the changes you made really became about your health and your wellbeing and your vitality than about… I think, when you first came, we did talk about it before we started recording, but for one question was… Let me see if I can find it. What else do I have to do? Is there anything else? It was like I wrote it in all caps, with three question marks. It was a very strong question of like, “I'm doing all the things. I read the book. What else? What else? What else?” And of course, we made our tweaks and then we had that loss, which sucked. Then we did go into lockdown and all of those things.

Aimee Raupp:

Then there started to be this shift where it was focusing on your family as it is now and focusing on your joy instead of this baby being the… I do feel like too, at one point there was that conversation of like, “Am I feeling guilty about not being in the present moment but being so focused on this other child versus focusing on the family that you do have?

Judy:

Right. That was definitely part of it. As I was shifting from that towards letting go, and focusing on having and being completely at peace with my family of four, that was the transformation that I made. The way you said it was described, my focus of being present and being there with them and not focusing on, “Okay, well, I will feel complete when we have another one, and I will be present when we have another one, and I will then be able to be happy.” It's, “I'm happy now, and I'm good now, and look how great these girls are now.” I think it's important to-

Aimee Raupp:

This little one's the cherry on top, right?

Judy:

Yeah.

Aimee Raupp:

Do you have moments too, I'm sure in the pregnancy of like, “Was it surreal?” I do know too when… And this happens a lot when I work with anyone, any of my clients, there's a very strong clarity that there is meant to be another child. It's not just the desire, it's something behind that desire that's driving all the things you're doing to bring this child through. And so obviously, you came to peace with that and I'm sure even grieved it a little bit, but then when it did happen, and then obviously you don't miscarry and the pregnancy continues on, was there this sense of, I don't know, coming… trusting your intuition of like, “Oh, I did always know you were meant to…” Or, even now that she's here, do you have those moments where you're like, “Oh, you were so meant to come right now”?

Judy:

1000% and that process wasn't easy at all. Like you said, I grieved it, I was sad about it. It took me a long time to get over not having another one because I thought, “If I don't try for it, nobody is going to try for it and it's not going to happen.” I never thought that it was just going to spontaneous baby, just not going to happen to me. How wrong was I? I love that lesson that I've learned through her because that trust, like you said, it's helped me with other parts of my life to just trust the process, that let go and the universe will guide and put things in front of you and you don't need to effort for everything. Some things, yes, but not for everything.

Aimee Raupp:

And even that peace where it's like you said in the beginning that it's on their timing. That's something that I always do talk about. I know you and I talked about where it's like our job is to prepare the vessel to prepare you and then the rest is spirit's job and however you take spirit or whatever that is, but that there's another human that's deciding to come through and join your family and it's their timeline as well. It is that thing of getting out of the way and not trying to control the timeframe so much. And even the distance between your children, the age gap too, which I feel like was a big thing in the beginning as well.

Judy:

Right. That also puts a lot of pressure on everyone, on you, on that baby coming through, on your kids, whether they know it or not. It's all this subconscious energy and pressure that I think everybody can feel. It just, I think, suffocates the entire process and makes it difficult for everyone. Not having that… And right now, we have a really strange stage of life gap, having a fourth grader, first grader, and a three month old. It's a beautiful type of chaos that I wouldn't want any other way.

Aimee Raupp:

That also, you did pursue IVF at 30… Or 38 or 39, right? And it didn't go well. It's just so interesting that for then to go on and be three years older and to spontaneously and naturally conceive a healthy, beautiful child and carry to term, I think, it goes against all the norms that we're told and taught. And even the anxiety that you came to me with… I remember it was like, “I don't think I want to go back to that IVF process. That was terrible,” but your doctor was like, “This is the option. We should go and do another IVF.” Then you got pregnant soon after that. Then it shifted gears where it was like, “Okay, this can still happen on my terms. Let's see”.

Judy:

I think, he was even telling me like, “Donor egg was next on the list.” I was like, “Okay, well, I think I might want to reconsider other options before going down that road,” which I could have probably considered that if that's what I wanted to go to. It just seemed a little premature to go down that road immediately before even trying.

Aimee Raupp:

I love it. I love it. Well, I thank you so much for coming and sharing. Do you have any, I don't know, any words of wisdom for the version of you in the past that's out there watching right now?

Judy:

Well, I mean, I'm sure that the version of me in the past, there's a version of me right now that probably needs to hear it on other issues too, in my life now. Yeah, I mean, I feel like there's so much that we try to control and like I said before, it's so much easier said than done. I would hate hearing other people say, “Just let go.” I really still cringe when I hear it, which is weird to say that out loud. If you can find a way, even if it's a small way, every day, to let go a little bit of control in your own way, then it might… Trust that it could give you what you want in the end.

Aimee Raupp:

Yeah, and I think too, of you still prioritized you, you still prioritized joy, you still prioritized health, and you kept yourself. It's what I talk about in the course all the time too, of the consistency and frequency. I have a similar case, and she was 47 when she actually gave birth, but it was very similar where she let go, she grieved that second child but didn't change much of what we implemented lifestyle wise and diet wise and supple… because she felt great. Then same thing, closed the door when she turned 46 and then spontaneously got pregnant. A similar story though. I've seen that multiple times too where when you shift the focus to you and feeling good, and, “I'm going to keep up with this stuff because oh, my hair and my skin do look great.” I think even with you, you were getting less, migraines were a big part of your life and they were getting better. It was like you were just feeling better.

Why would you change those things? But making it less about, “I have to do all these things for baby,” and more about, “I'm doing these things because I feel good.” You completely let go. I think others can reach that point of, and if baby's meant to come through, they'll on their timeline versus one that I'm trying to force. That, I think, is the biggest… Right? Yeah. The surrender piece, which I always joke, if I could bottle surrender I would and I'd give it away for free. I wouldn't sell it, I promise. It's not easy to get to. I think you're the perfect example of you did really let go and you did really try.

You really showed up and tried hard for those… I'd say that solid year. Then it was like, “You know what? This is not the direction I want my life to go in where it's just I'm so focused on this one thing and the trying and so I'm going to let go.” We did our thing where we would check in here and there. Then, yeah, I love those emails when I got the one from you of like, “Yeah, just a heads up.” I think maybe that's what I'm remembering I was going through emails. You emailed me when you were eight weeks pregnant and you were like, “This is what's happening.” Then you kept me abreast of the situation throughout.

Judy:

Yeah.

Aimee Raupp:

So lovely. Okay, well thank you so much Judy, for taking the time. I appreciate it so much. We will let you get back to your beautiful chaos. I thank all of you guys for tuning in and watching the Story of Hope. I hope it's helped you feel more peace in your heart and just where you're at in the journey. Thank you so much.

END TRANSCRIPT.

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