Are you ready for a new Story of Hope?!

In this video, we share the story of our very own Team Aimee member…Beth! Hear what she did to bring her dream baby home. 

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Disclaimer: Please keep in mind that I am not a medical doctor. I have been a practitioner of Traditional Chinese Medicine for over 17 years and I will be speaking from my clinical experience helping thousands of women conceive. The office of Aimee E. Raupp, M.S., L.Ac and Aimee Raupp Wellness & Fertility Centers and all personnel associated with the practice do not use social media to convey medical advice. This video will be posted to Aimee’s channels to educate and inspire others on the fertility journey.

SEE TRANSCRIPT BELOW OR CLICK ON THE IMAGE ABOVE FOR THE FULL VIDEO.

Aimee Raupp:

Hi everyone. We are here with another story of hope and all of them are so special, but I already feel myself starting to cry. This one is especially special because Beth from Team Aimee gets to share her story of hope and we're going to get into all the details. But first let's we have a surprise visitor. Baby Otto is coming in. Hi, buddy. You getting so big.

Beth Grossman:

Oh, you look so tired, buddy.

Aimee Raupp:

Oh, you're sleepy. Do you want to just say hi and don't give up hope girls. “Hi. Don't give up hope.” Oh my God, I want to squeeze him. I have to get there and squeeze him. I haven't gotten to squeeze him yet. Hi, honey. Hi. Oh, you so sweet. Okay, go nap, nap.

Beth Grossman:

Go back to papa.

Aimee Raupp:

Aw. Aw. [inaudible 00:00:59].

Beth Grossman:

Yeah.

Aimee Raupp:

Yeah.

Beth Grossman:

He's a sleepy boy.

Aimee Raupp:

I want to cry when I say this, but it's so nice to have it be your turn to do this because you've sat behind the scenes helping with so many other stories of hope for years. And so yeah, I want you to lead on this, but I'm sure that's a big feeling for you right now. Oh, this is my turn.

Beth Grossman:

Totally. All right. Well, we've got some notes because I'm sure I'll go off on tangents. Get off track. I started with Aimee and at this point it's laughable thinking back that I was 29 and I was convinced that I had already missed my shot, that I was too old to get pregnant. And I know all of you watching know that that's crazy. But we've also all been there and had those wild thoughts. My mom had been done having her three kids by 25. So when we had started trying at around 26 and it hadn't happened in three years, I was convinced that I just waited too long and it was over.

Aimee Raupp:

Obviously you were then destined to meet me and do our work.

Beth Grossman:

Yes. I went to a conference, She Summit, and this was all divinely orchestrated for me to end up there. It was the busiest time of year at work. I should not have been able to get time off to go to this conference. The conference was well out of my budget, but a friend from college that I hadn't spoken to in probably a decade reached out with, not a decade, I wasn't old enough for that, but anyway, reached out offering me free tickets to this, so I got free tickets, was able to get time off work, and none of that should have happened, but it did. And I was sitting in this room with-

Aimee Raupp:

It was 2015, right? I had just given birth to James, I think.

Beth Grossman:

Yeah.

Aimee Raupp:

It was the first speaking engagement that I came to, and I wouldn't have otherwise done it too if it wasn't run by one of my closest friends. And she was like, I'm doing this fertility panel because she had had a miscarriage a year before and really wanted this panel. But I remember I had James, I was breastfeeding in the lobby of the Y Bell, the 92nd Street Y, but in all honesty though, I wouldn't have been there had it not been Claudia's She Summit, which is just kind of interesting too.

Beth Grossman:

So definitely divine intervention there. And I was just sitting in this room of 100s of women, didn't know that this panel was going to be part of it, just thought I was there for women in business, and I'm listening to Aimee talk and I just start sobbing in this auditorium, because you all know this, hearing Aimee speak about your body, your health, your fertility is empowering on its own and realizing that there are things that can be done.

Aimee Raupp:

Yeah.

Beth Grossman:

Because I was also, I had years and years of medical trauma. I was terrified to see doctors because when I was in college, I started gaining weight uncontrollably despite my food and my movement not changing at all. And when I went to see my doctor about this and explained to them this is happening, I don't know why. She said, “Stop being so lazy and stop lying about what you're eating.” And I had always had an approach of why would I lie to my doctor? You're here to help me. So to be accused of lying and in such a mean and cruel way really just shut me down and made me distrust-

Aimee Raupp:

The system.

Beth Grossman:

Yeah. So I was terrified of doctors and my biggest fear was that I was too fat to get pregnant.

Aimee Raupp:

Well, and also because that's what they told you. It wasn't like a fear you made up. It's What was told to you, in so many words.

Beth Grossman:

And also up until that point, I had done every diet you could possibly think of, and it makes sense now, but at the time, it didn't make sense to me that when I was at my greatest caloric deficit, I was gaining the most weight.

Aimee Raupp:

Yeah, that's crazy.

Beth Grossman:

I was eating the least and still nothing was budging, nothing was changing, and I was feeling the worst I had felt in my life.

Aimee Raupp:

And you're only 29 at this point?

Beth Grossman:

Right.

Aimee Raupp:

Crazy.

Beth Grossman:

And now realizing the damage that I was doing at that time with all of these crash diets because I was desperate to make a change so that I could live out my dream of becoming a mom.

Aimee Raupp:

And I remember, so it's the end of the panel, and I think we were going for break, and I remember coming down the stairs or whatever, and there's like this line of women wanting to talk to me. And I think I had books, I think I had, “Yes, you can Get Pregnant,” was out already and you were in the line. And I remember-

Beth Grossman:

I emailed you while you were talking.

Aimee Raupp:

That's right. You emailed me while I was talking. Oh my God. You're right.

Beth Grossman:

I became this crazy stalker person in that moment. And even as bold as I was being at that moment, I still was like, I'm sure you don't have room for me in your clinic, but if you have an associate or someone that you'd recommend that's like you, please pass me their name. And you were like, “Oh no, absolutely not.”

Aimee Raupp:

And then you started seeing me in New York City and you would come in after work, I remember that. Yeah, I guess talk about that too, of the work we started doing together.

Beth Grossman:

The first thing that I remember that really lifted a major weight was that you said to me that it wasn't too late. And what had an even bigger impact was you said, “I'd like to see you start trying to get pregnant by the time you're between 35 and 37.” And so realizing that I had that much time made a huge difference because really we were trying, but we weren't ready, financially, career wise.”

Aimee Raupp:

And cycle wise. I don't think you were ovulating, you had a 100 day cycles or something like that.

Beth Grossman:

Hm-mmm (affirmative).

Aimee Raupp:

So she clearly, like to me, when Beth came in, the two things I thought of, and we have our notes in front of us too, but we're PCOS and thyroid. But to convince her to see a doctor at that point in time was not what I could do and I couldn't prescribe. And so I always wear my Chinese medicine hat, but I really had to just stay in that zone. And I think too with you obviously we're almost a decade into this relationship, but building trust, I just didn't want to lose her. I didn't want her to go away or, it makes me emotional, but I was like I just want this woman to feel safe with me and we'll get there.

And Matt would come to all the appointments, your husband, and that was such a big thing where it was just like, I just want to hold these two. And it makes me cry, but we're going to figure this out. And I couldn't. But I knew deep down, she needs to be on thyroid medicine and we need to manage this PCOS. But at that point I was like, “Let's do diet. We're going to do some herbs.” And we started, I feel like too, it's a classic case if I really met you where you were at. And I was like, this isn't about weight, this is about regulating your cycle. I remember I was like, “If the weight falls off great,” but it wasn't ever the focus.

Beth Grossman:

No, not at all. And you were very gentle with me with diet too.

Aimee Raupp:

I had to be.

Beth Grossman:

Yeah, I think because you could see the trauma and the triggers there. So we took things slowly and it was much more of a focus of adding in things to nourish me rather than, which is always your focus, but very much was all about adding things in that would nourish me more rather than focusing on what had to go. Because I also had done so many different things and thought that I was eating really healthy and I wasn't far off. But there were things that I just didn't know.

Aimee Raupp:

You weren't, because I remember you were doing those shakes, and I remember you would, but I feel like you had told me you'd lost 60 or so pounds or something like that. So I remember being then let's change it. What you're doing, you feel good, this is in your life. I remember looking at the ingredients and I pointed things out gently, I think. But I was like, this is in your life right now. Let's continue to keep this in your life and let's add in other things.

Beth Grossman:

But things like I had been told by my high school health teacher, so I was amazing for women's health because of how estrogen it is. And so for years I had been getting soy lattes from a Starbucks thinking that I was helping myself. And now knowing all that I know about my case, have mercy.

Aimee Raupp:

But so yeah. Then your cycles regulated. We started-

Beth Grossman:

So you first put me into your very first group coaching program, which was even before the, “Yes, you can Get Pregnant,” e-course. I was in the original group.

Aimee Raupp:

Which that is, that's funny too, because that comes, Gabby Bernstein inspired that I was at a Kapalo with her. And at the time she was an acupuncture client of mine in the city, and I wanted to create a digital course. And she said to me, “Okay, well you got to run some group coaching programs to see what they need.” And I was like, “Oh, I've never done that.” And she was like, “Just take information from your book. Create a curriculum. Let's see how it goes.” And so I remember I was looking for people to put in the program too. Because I was new to charging for stuff like that, all the things. And I was like, “Oh, Beth's perfect. Come on in.” Because you were also a different side of my demographic. A lot of my demographic were older women in their 40s trying to conceive. And so I was like, “Oh, this is great.” And I wanted to just really again hold you and support you.

But I was running those groups from my bedroom in our Brooklyn apartment. I'll never forget it. It was just 8:00 PM on Wednesday's. I'd come in and set up my laptop because I didn't have an office in there. And yeah, that's crazy. That was so long ago. Yeah, it's seven years ago.

Beth Grossman:

And I'm still friends with some of those women. Seeing them reach out to me while I was pregnant and when I had Otto was so beautiful.

Aimee Raupp:

So I think I had eight women in the group, I think I ran.

Beth Grossman:

Yeah. And just the way that those groups, we come together and hold each other. The support is unlike anything else.

Aimee Raupp:

Yeah.

Beth Grossman:

It's beautiful.

Aimee Raupp:

And I still get to do those. It was like the birth of something. It was running those groups. It's still a huge part of the online aspect, the virtual coaching. So we did that.

Beth Grossman:

And then you got me on Chinese herbs and we got my cycles to shorten quite a bit.

Aimee Raupp:

Like four [inaudible 00:13:56] days, six [inaudible 00:13:57] days sometimes, but not more six month long cycles like you totally had in the beginning.

Beth Grossman:

No. They became pretty regular. Albeit still longer than the ideal.

Aimee Raupp:

Yeah.

Beth Grossman:

I was getting-

Aimee Raupp:

Well, we were seeing clear ovulation. I also remember the color and consistency of the blood was getting better and all of that. Because it was like dark brown, it wasn't like old stagnant blood in the beginning. It started to become fresh and less clotty and there were signs of ovulation.

Beth Grossman:

Yeah. My sleep improved. Headaches almost completely went away, if not altogether went away. And then my nails and my hair have always been my favorite indicator of thriving health and fertility. And even now in postpartum where I'm supposed to be experiencing hair loss-

Aimee Raupp:

And you're not at all, look at those nails.

Beth Grossman:

I know. I keep having to clip them down.

Aimee Raupp:

Because she's doing her liver and her bone broth, I'm sure every day, because I know my Beth.

Beth Grossman:

Yes.

Aimee Raupp:

So yeah, you continued to see me. I don't think you came weekly, but you were with me. At the end it was a once a month acupuncture because I was only practicing once a month in-

Beth Grossman:

When I switched to NIAC.

Aimee Raupp:

When you switched to NIAC

Beth Grossman:

In Manhattan, I was twice a month.

Aimee Raupp:

Which I was in yesterday. And it still feels weird that you're not on my schedule. So maybe next month and this that you have to get back on the schedule.

Beth Grossman:

Yeah. So over the years-

Aimee Raupp:

Yeah, it was five years basically.

Beth Grossman:

We only had a few cycles where we were actively trying. For the most part, our goal was just focusing on nourishing me, nourishing Matt, and really focusing on our relationship.

Aimee Raupp:

And your home. And even moving into this place, all the things that shifted for you guys, even Matt's career and the shifts there. And it was just like, I remember thinking, especially when things shifted for Matt work-wise, I was like, now they're ready. Now they're ready.

Beth Grossman:

Yeah. That was major. Plus getting health insurance was super helpful.

Aimee Raupp:

Health insurance. And through the years too, what happened was Beth started then working for me. So it was probably what, a year in, not even a year, six months in to you seeing me for acupuncture, your job was shifting. And I remember I was following her on social media or I think on Instagram or something, and I was like, well, she's so sassy and savvy. And you always had so put together. And so you were in between assignments as my husband would say, and you expressed to me, “I'm not sure I can swing coming regularly.” And then I was like, “How about we figure it out? You want to help me with some things?” And then you were like, “Sure.” Because at that point, that's when I was growing the online aspect of the business and I had an assistant in the clinic, but that was it. I had nobody else helping me on the other side of the fence, like customers, all the things, obviously. And so as I grew, Beth just took on more and more hats.

And then the acupuncture, the monthly acupuncture actually became part of her job assignment in a sense. And it was a great way to get countdown ideas and all of that. So then at that point too, I think that's something to touch upon too of, the medical gaslighting obviously was huge in your case and getting confidence and all of that. But then when you started to work with me and seeing all these women and their cases, I feel like that was hugely empowering for you. Then all of a sudden you really did own the fact that you had time and you didn't have to stress about it. And it was like you trusted in the divine timing of this child of Otto coming through.

Beth Grossman:

And you really talked to me about advocating for myself and helped with that. But then also working for you and working with all of these women and helping them find their voice and advocate for themselves, something finally shifted in me where I was like, if I can tell all of these other people to do this, to advocate for themselves, to ask for what they need, why can't I do that for myself? And it finally shifted.

Aimee Raupp:

And then divine timing shifted though too, where I met Dr. Murphy and we all fell in love very quickly. And I did a live with him. And I remember after it was even an email or a text, you wrote me and you said, “He's someone I can trust.” And I was like, “Aha.” And then behind the scenes, I called Dr. Murphy right away. I was like, “Okay, this is what she needs. She needs metformin, she needs thyroid medication.” And he was like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” And I'm like, “Beth is coming to see you. And I've been waiting for this opportunity for a while to get her to a doctor that she trusted.” And he was the first guy ever that you were like, and he doesn't have, most IVF clinics, reproductive endocrinology clinics have weight cutoffs. And he actually really advocates against that. And that it's not about that. It's about the overall health and vitality. He doesn't have age cutoff, he doesn't have a weight cutoff. And he is also, if you guys don't know of him, he is just really a truly lovely, amazing human being.

Beth Grossman:

In one of my early appointments with him, I remember when we got the results of all of our various testing, and he said to us that between the two of us, we had had less than a 2% chance of conceiving on our own. Which I know for a lot of people would've been a really devastating moment. But for me, it was such a weight was lifted off of me that there were so many different factors that I couldn't have helped. And I started sobbing with this weight of relief and shared with him and the nurse that was in the room at the moment that for years I had blamed just me. This was all me. My body was supposed to be doing this. This is what we're designed to do. And my body had been failing me. And to find out that it wasn't just me. Even considering all of my own medical factors, it wasn't just my medical factors contributing.

And he looked at me and in the way that only Dr. Murphy could, he goes, “Oh no, Beth, it's always the man's fault. Everything is the man's fault.” And we all chuck, even Matt was chuckling about it and he was like, “Yeah, this is my fault. I'll just take that.”

Aimee Raupp:

But it goes to show too of how important the testing is because you're not the first case that. I've had dozens where we're looking at the woman, we're blaming the woman, if you will. We're looking for all the problems. And then we take a deeper look on the other side and see, oh, the two of you together this, we have to actually amplify both things. And Matt was doing the diet and the supplements and all the things, and so we were working on that it, he was totally on board and so supportive.

But I agree, it was this sense of, “Okay, now it makes more sense why things aren't happening as quickly as we… Because your cycle was regular, we weren't actually trying every month, so there was that. But it was this sense of relief and just divine timing, right place, right time. I feel like your radar was on, you knew when the right doctor was going to be around. And then around that time too, you also found a really amazing OB GYN team that you fell in love with. And same thing they just saw you for who you were and didn't judge you. And I loved that.

Beth Grossman:

Yeah. They, as a practice, operate under healthy at every size. Just the idea that weight is not the biggest factor. We're looking at the other vital signs, testing other things. And my blood pressure was always great. My blood sugar was good. Even fast forwarding all the way through pregnancy-

Aimee Raupp:

Yes, all the way through pregnancy.

Beth Grossman:

Where other people would've assumed things based on my body. I had a very healthy pregnancy. So Murphy was able to get me on levothyroxin for my thyroid because that was the one thing where the OB did test that and they said it's within normal range.

Aimee Raupp:

But not for us. Not for Aimee.

Beth Grossman:

Even if it wasn't within a normal range for functional or for fertility, my symptoms were showing that it wasn't normal for me.

Aimee Raupp:

100%.

Beth Grossman:

And I think that's important for other people to recognize too, that these ranges, if you're still showing all of the symptoms of the thing, that means that your body isn't doing what it needs to be doing for you. So he got me on levothyroxin, which was really helpful. That also shortened my cycles. And now I was regular monthly, even before starting the fertility meds, this is where I started to get foggy on some of the timelines.

Aimee Raupp:

Yeah. Well, because there was a lot of start, stop lot.

Beth Grossman:

Yes.

Aimee Raupp:

That's the part where it started to get hard. I don't want to put words in your mouth, but that last, I guess a year getting to Otto, that's where it started to, I feel like emotionally. Because it's like, okay, now we have all these things lined up and it was a bit of a start stop. And that was, well, I know I'll let you tell your story, but yeah.

Beth Grossman:

Yeah. So Dr. Murphy had said that with our case, we were going to start with three cycles of timed intercourse with medication. And that was so so hard on us. Being told exactly when you have to have sex, it all felt like, honey, I'm ovulating sex. None of it felt like love or fun. It felt like a chore. And I remember when we were at the end of my window in the third cycle, I just couldn't. And that was not how our relationship had ever been, but just knowing that we had to, right now, this was our last shot.

Aimee Raupp:

So much pressure.

Beth Grossman:

Yes, on both of us. So I got too emotional to even try. And then I felt like a failure because I was like, I can't even do this, can't even do the literal one thing I need to do to make pregnancy happen. And really, my whole life, I had been a very high achiever through school. It was always, I was given the rubric, I was given the syllabus, I looked at all the things I needed to do, I checked it all off the list and I got the A plus. But when it came to fertility and pregnancy, I followed all the recommendations. I did all the things and I couldn't make it happen all by myself.

Aimee Raupp:

And how many people can relate, every single woman watching this.

Beth Grossman:

So then we discussed that in our case, I'm sure it's not the same for everyone, but IUI would've been the same rate of chances for us as timed to intercourse. So I said, why waste three cycles on IUI? Let's just go right to IVF. And I think Murphy was a little excited that I was all gungho about this. I was like, “Screw it. Let's just go to the big guns here.” Our first egg retrieval, we only got four eggs and none made it to blast. I was a wreck.

Aimee Raupp:

It was so bad. The retrieval, the whole, it was kind of a disaster.

Beth Grossman:

But where he was very encouraging.

Aimee Raupp:

Yeah. I don't mean the clinic screwed up or anything like that. I just mean it didn't go, and I think that's another really good point of IVF is not a guarantee of a pregnancy. And even if you know that and you knew that as your job, but when you're in it and you're living, it hurts. It was devastating, even for me. Agreed. I'm in it. It's my job. And it was just like, what do you mean we didn't get any. What? She's PCOS. We should have gotten 30.

Beth Grossman:

That was exactly my thought. Where are all these eggs?

Aimee Raupp:

Yeah.

Beth Grossman:

I haven't been ovulating maybe six times a year. I should have plenty of frigging eggs in here. And we got four. And then none of them made it. But Murphy was very much, it was the wrong cocktail for you, Beth.

Aimee Raupp:

Yeah, that's it. And that's a really big point of IVFs not a guarantee. And a good doctor changes the protocol if the protocol doesn't work. They don't blame the woman.

Beth Grossman:

Right. He immediately changed up the meds. We went into another cycle, and this time Dr. Murphy retrieved 21 eggs, 15 of them were inseminated. Two made it to blast and were frozen. And for me-

Aimee Raupp:

And became that beautiful boy you saw at the beginning, right?

Beth Grossman:

Yeah. For me, that was, a lot of people would've been devastated by that. But I didn't want to have a ton of embryos. I was good with-

Aimee Raupp:

As pressure as well. You see that on the other side, that's not a conversation that many people have, but it's a lot of pressure on the other side. Then you're like, “Oh, now I need to have all these children.”

Beth Grossman:

So that was October of 2021. And then in November we started a transfer cycle. We were all set to transfer.

Aimee Raupp:

I hate this day.

Beth Grossman:

It was two days before Thanksgiving.

Aimee Raupp:

We were on my table getting a treatment.

Beth Grossman:

And a little before this you had insisted that they add low-dose naltrexone and that they do a uterine biopsy.

Aimee Raupp:

They weren't going to do a biopsy on her. And again, I love this practice and refer to them all the time. I think they just looked at Beth and said, okay, she's never been pregnant. She's never had any procedures done. She's young, she's healthy. As far as we can tell all her things check out. And I just don't know, call it instinct too, but I just was so pushy about it and to the point where I definitely annoyed Dr. Murphy. I know I did. And I was like, I don't give a shit. You're doing the biopsy on her.

Beth Grossman:

Yeah, I was on your treatment table.

Aimee Raupp:

And I went out, because I said, “Did they get back to you about the results yet?” And you were like, “Oh, I don't know that they're in.” And I went out and the nurse got the results.

Beth Grossman:

And according to the ultrasound that morning, we were still proceeding with transfer that week.

Aimee Raupp:

And that's a good thing to remember too guys, a saline sono doesn't show you everything. So that's why the biopsy is so important and sometimes even a hysteroscopy. And so in Beth's case, the sono looked great, but the biopsy showed that there was some abnormality in the tissue and we needed to treat it. We could not transfer. Had we transferred baby Otto, he wouldn't have stuck, which breaks my heart to think about.

Beth Grossman:

So I ended up having-

Aimee Raupp:

Agh, I hate that day.

Beth Grossman:

A DNC.

Aimee Raupp:

I had to go in and tell her, you're going to talk to Dr. Murphy after. She's laying on the table, we're doing our pre transfer acupuncture session. She's in Connecticut. I'm able to treat her, which it's such a bonus for me when I get to be with one of my girls right before the transfer. And I had to go in and I was like, “Okay, so you're going to talk to Dr. Murphy. I'm not sure you're going to transfer in two days.” And oh my God, the tears, the tears.

Beth Grossman:

Oh, I was a wreck. And then the start of that, the first words that Dr. Murphy said to me were, “It's not cancer.”

Aimee Raupp:

Which she had no idea.

Beth Grossman:

And that threw me for a loop and I lost it completely. Was like when the F was that on the table

Aimee Raupp:

Because the pathology said abnormal cells. So in that case, sometimes they will refer out to a cancer doc because an oncologist, because it could be the signs of some abnormal cellular development in the uterus. And so we have to go and get that biopsied and looked at. But it wasn't handled that way because it actually didn't need to, it wasn't as concerned.

Beth Grossman:

He did send off-

Aimee Raupp:

The title of it, it was like atypical, yada, yada, yada. And so I think he assumed your role with me. You knew what medical stuff says, which is why he led with that sentence. And you were like, I don't even know what this means, or just tell me what I need to do.

Beth Grossman:

So he sent all of that off to a gynecological oncologist just to have another eye on it and make sure that we were proceeding properly. And they said, nope, you're right. Just progesterone. So we did that for three months.

Aimee Raupp:

DNC. So she basically got a hysteroscopy and then did progesterone for the three months.

Beth Grossman:

Yes. So that entered the hardest emotional portion of this entire journey for me. Going through the holidays and then one more birthday, not being pregnant.

Aimee Raupp:

It was so hard.

Beth Grossman:

It was really difficult for me. Again, all of you watching know how hard all of those milestone things are. So we get certain timelines in our head. And I had decided that by the time I was 36, I was going to be pregnant and we were going to start at 35. And so that 36th birthday with an empty womb was really difficult.

I'm just reading through to make sure I didn't miss anything. Oh, this was also when you started the womb healing talks and we're beta testing them with just the e-course members. And participating in the womb healing talks was incredibly helpful for me to help process through these emotions and work through my feelings around the timeline and hitting through, I think Sam did a talk specifically on going through all of those milestones, going through the holidays when not pregnant. And so I was able to process through a lot of those motions and prepare for the transfer cycle. So on March 2nd, 2022, we transferred one embryo and I got pregnant from that first transfer.

Aimee Raupp:

That was so good.

Beth Grossman:

It was really incredible. And as you know, I had a very healthy pregnancy.

Aimee Raupp:

It was some, [inaudible 00:35:30].

Beth Grossman:

And all of that-

Aimee Raupp:

A little more medical gaslighting. He didn't have enough, needed a little bit more.

Beth Grossman:

All of that preparation that we did really prepared me to be able to advocate for myself through this. Because partway into pregnancy, I had a gallbladder infection.

Aimee Raupp:

Wasn't it like 27 weeks or so, 26 weeks?

Beth Grossman:

Yeah. I was 26 weeks at the time. I got a gallbladder infection. I knew in my body, I could feel where the pain was. I knew it was not this baby. I knew.

Aimee Raupp:

And she pointed multiple times to where the pain was, right over here.

Beth Grossman:

Went to the hospital and of course they put me in the labor and delivery wing because I was pregnant. So I was all for them, checking everything to make sure that baby was okay. But they took my blood pressure with a cuff that was too small and thought that there was hypertension that I was having preeclampsia. And they wanted to take the baby. There were discussions about what it would look like to give birth at that time, that I was going to just live at this hospital until I gave birth. And I was freaking out all about all of it, but I was like, wait, we still haven't looked at my gallbladder. And so I kept pushing and kept pushing. And finally when the high-risk OB came in, the MFM, she looked at and very much had Aimee vibes in the way that she spoke.

She looked at all of the nurses, medical students and doctors in the room. There were a total of seven people in my room at the moment. And she said, why the F are we medicating and diagnosing this woman based on numbers that are taken with a cuff that's too small?

Aimee Raupp:

So they're talking about the blood pressure cuff. It didn't fit her arm properly and it was giving false readings.

Beth Grossman:

Yes. So once she went, and she personally went and got a different blood pressure cuff, and she took my blood pressure and she was like, “Look, her numbers are normal.” So she refused to diagnose me as preeclamptic because she did not want me to have to live.

Aimee Raupp:

Well, you also didn't have any protein in your urine. You actually didn't have all the signs. Because I remember us going through it too. I was like, so all you have is high blood pressure and maybe swelling, but you had already had, you had some swelling before you even went into pregnancy. Anyway, I knew that, and then the same thing Beth kept saying, “But my gallbladder, I've had this attack before. I know what it feels like.” And they literally ignored her and put her in a category of preeclampsia because of her presentation.

Beth Grossman:

And I didn't even have any symptoms of high blood pressure. The numbers they were showing-

Aimee Raupp:

Yeah, nothing.

Beth Grossman:

Matt was scared at first because they made it seem like I was going to stroke at any moment. And I said, but my vision is fine. I don't have a headache. Nothing was presenting-

Aimee Raupp:

Didn't match.

Beth Grossman:

At all. And the numbers that they were getting were changing rapidly with every blood pressure that they took. So there was no consistency in the high numbers either. So when we finally got me into an MRI, they were like, “Look, there's an infection.” And all I needed was antibiotics. And then I was out.

Aimee Raupp:

And then you carried him to term. And he's perfect.

Beth Grossman:

Yep. Gave birth at 39 weeks. And even that, again, all of my work with Aimee had prepared me for this moment of being able to just take things as they came. Because for two whole weeks leading up to this moment, he had been head down, phasing my spine exactly in the position you want to push. And the day of, all of a sudden he's up by my ribs. He was transverse. So he was sideways and I was like, all right, the birth plan is out the window. We're going for a C-section.

Aimee Raupp:

We're going to roll with this.

Beth Grossman:

As long as I get my baby at the end of the day, that's all I need. But then I was also prepared to nourish and take care of myself to recover from that C-section. And now it doesn't even look like there was a surgery there. The scar is not [inaudible 00:40:15]-

Aimee Raupp:

Because you followed the New Mama Guide that you basically, maybe I gave you the copy, but you wrote the New Mama Guide. And then you said even after there was some, was that postpartum when they did a little more with your blood pressure or was there-

Beth Grossman:

Oh goodness, yeah. When I was in the hospital to be induced at 39, they were using the same machines with the same cuff. And I had to advocate for myself. Again, this was at a different hospital, and I said, “I need a different cuff. This one isn't big enough.” And they brought me a different cuff, but the same size. And the resident on call was very arrogant and rude about all of it and just kept say, “I don't know what else you want from me.” He said, “I would like for you to listen to me when I tell you that I'm not dumb and I know what I'm looking at. And I see that this cuff is too small. It keeps popping off every time you try to take my blood pressure.” But they're saying preeclampsia can happen at any time. And I said, “I know that, and I'm happy to accept that if we have an accurate reading.”

Aimee Raupp:

Good for you.

Beth Grossman:

Until we have an accurate reading, I don't accept that that's my diagnosis and that's not going to go in my chart. So I'm sure that somewhere in my chart is that I'm a very difficult patient.

Aimee Raupp:

Good for you. What is the saying from Eleanor Roosevelt? “Quiet women Never change the world,” or something like that? It's the [inaudible 00:41:56] quote, right, from Marilyn Roosevelt. I think that's what it's. “Quiet women don't change the world.” So that's it. You advocated for yourself and you got your baby.

Beth Grossman:

Yes.

Aimee Raupp:

And now he's four months old.

Beth Grossman:

Yeah.

Aimee Raupp:

Yesterday.

Beth Grossman:

Three days ago.

Aimee Raupp:

Three days ago. [inaudible 00:42:15] nugget. And even stuff like that with some of the challenges with breastfeeding and all the little things of just, I feel like, you were always such a part of our new mama group too, where when women get pregnant, we move them into the new mama group. And I think you you were just so prepared. I think that's just the best way to put it. It's just, so prepared, being in the space you're in. And so not to underestimate newborn overwhelm and new mom overwhelm is real. And it happens in the most prepared situations because you're sleep deprived as well. And just, there's a lot of moving parts. But I just think there's just that certainty. And also I think too of you know who your people are to go to for support and ask questions and get clarity.

And there's no doubt about that. And so it's like you're great at utilizing that. And I think every woman should be in that position. I think it just minimizes, even postpartum, postpartum issues, anxiety, depression are so real and so overlooked. And so I think gaslit as well, a lot of women don't get the attention and care that they need. And they don't know what to ask for, what to look for. And yeah, I think you were exactly, I think about when I first met you and that girl that was so traumatized by the system, it's like you're a 360 and more different in that position or in that now. And I think that's how you needed to bring him through. You know what I mean, very secure, very confident of I know what I need and don't you dare try to blame this on me. You know what I mean? I'll take responsibility where I need to, but we're a team. We do this together.

Beth Grossman:

And that was also a confirmation that I had found the right team because when it came time to tell me that I needed a C-section, my OB started the conversation with, “Beth, you've done everything right this pregnancy. Your body has done everything that it needed to do this pregnancy. Unfortunately, we can't control other people, even the littlest ones.”

Aimee Raupp:

Yes, I love that.

Beth Grossman:

“And so that's why we're here.” And so he knew that I would-

Aimee Raupp:

Respond to that.

Beth Grossman:

On my perfectionism kick and try to figure out what I could have done differently.

Aimee Raupp:

That was the same conversation my doctors had with me. It was just like, “Okay, so Aimee, you've fully dilated, your water broke, all the things, he's not coming down.” And same thing. It's like, but you need to be included in that conversation. That's the right way to do it. And so I agree. You found the right team.

Beth Grossman:

We just created too cozy of a child's palace.

Aimee Raupp:

Yeah. He didn't want to leave.

Beth Grossman:

He didn't want to leave.

Aimee Raupp:

Yeah. That's how James was too. He was like, “What? Go out there. This is great.” And we still joke. When we cuddle at night, I'll say that to Kenny. I'm like, its like he wants to go back in. He just wants to be in there.

I'm like, God, I get it. And you did it, mama. Yay. Well, thank you so much for sharing this. And I know, every story of hope just is so important to our community, but especially sharing yours as such an active member of the community and on the side of Team Aimee, where people know you from that side, it's just, yeah. And it's so nice. Thank you for sharing it, because I know it's a vulnerable experience to share about, and just sharing helps so many others. So yeah, thank you for that.

Okay. All right, lovelies. If you have any questions or comments, just leave them below and then I'll circle back through and even best we can answer those for you. Okay. Thank you so much, my love.

Beth Grossman:

Thank you.

Aimee Raupp:

You're welcome.

END TRANSCRIPT.

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