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Mothering Yourself First- The Ultimate Act of Self Care

Do you take care of yourself? Or do you put yourself last on the list? Do you love yourself? Or are you saying mean things to yourself in your head? You deeply desire love- from your family, your friends, a significant other, maybe even in the form of a baby- but are YOU believing you are worthy of that love? Today I'll talk to you about how you can truly show yourself some love.

Here Is The Full Transcription Of The Video

… And hello Facebook. How are you guys? What is up? Happy Thursday. We're here again, it's that time of the week where I come to you live and talk to you about the best ways to support and nourish yourself, so you can live your happiest and healthiest life, so thank you so much for joining me and for letting me be a part of your lives and your social media. It's so great. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Those of you that are new to me, welcome. I always appreciate new members of our community, and it's so fun to continue to grow. I think we just hit 6,000 fans or followers on Instagram and broke 10,000 on Facebook, and that's really fun. It's really fun, because you guys are so engaged, and it's such a rich, organic audience and I love that, so thank you again so much for letting me be a part of your life, and to everyone who's been with me for a while, you guys are awesome.

You rock. You're a big reason why I show up the way I do, and I thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your life. Today, as we head into Mother's Day season for all of you out there who are longing to be mothers, or for all of you out there who are new moms, or have been mothers for a while, today's topic is an important one. It's important for regardless of where you are on that motherhood path. It's an important message, so let's get right to it. As you know in any of my books, I love to preach you taking care of you, and how important that is, and my community consists of a lot of women who are trying to get pregnant, right, and a lot of women who are on the path to motherhood, or who are now new mothers, and I can't say it enough how important it is that you mother yourself first, right?

It is that whole airplane saying, put your mask on before you put on the mask of somebody else, and really an important concept because if you don't take care of you, you don't have the goods to give to anybody else. You don't have the goods to show up for your job the way you want to, to show up in your relationships the way you want to, and definitely you don't have the goods to be the mother you want to be. Even more, you're not setting a good example, so to me, it's like when I am about to do something that's for me, yes, I have mother guilt. It exists. It is real. However, I also think about the flip side. I think about, what am I showing my child? I'm showing him that I prioritize me, that my health is important, that my downtime is important, and I want him to be able to prioritize that for himself. Right?

I'm showing my husband that, and I'm showing my friends that. There have been times where I have to withdraw from certain relationships or certain activities, because I need to put me first, and that doesn't always go over well. Some people might get offended, or might get upset, or feel like you're choosing something over them. But that's not your business, and at the end of the day, they're gonna be upset regardless. It's not about you, it's about them. It's their stuff. Most importantly, it's about you taking care of you, so there are a few ways that I do it and I… To be honest, there's a lot that goes on in my life, and everybody's time is valuable, and everybody's life is very precious. I in no way, shape, or form think my life is busier than any of yours or anything.

I'm just gonna use my life as an example, so to understand how I do it, and what I do to mother myself and nourish myself. I think a really important one is I say no a lot more now than I ever did. I don't answer every phone call that comes in. I probably kind of don't answer any phone calls that come in. I'll text to set up a phone appointment with somebody, but my social engagements are a lot… They're are lower than they used to be. I try to plan like one a week, max, and the rest of the time is I'm working, or it's my downtime with my family, and that's what's really important to me. That's where my priority is, right, and I make sure I'm getting in my meditation every day, even if it's just the guided meditation that I'm listening to while I'm doing something else.

I try to exercise four to five times a week. I try to cook healthy, nutritious meals. That's one of the… For me, one of the best ways to nourish myself, nourish my family, and that makes me feel good, so cooking is like my therapy. I go to therapy too, not that often. I have a coach, once a month probably for both of those, but these are the ways in which I nourish myself. I had an appointment last week with a new… She does my abdominal massage, and she's a new practitioner to me, cause I used to see someone in the city in New York and now up in Connecticut, so I got a referral, and so she said, “What are your self care practices?” That was part of her intake, and I thought that was a really good question. I said, “Well, I'm here.”

I make appointments for myself, I do these things, you know, I invest money in myself and my wellbeing. I go to acupuncture fairly regularly. I have a therapist that I see like once a month. I have a coach if and when I need it. I exercise pretty regularly. I meditate as often as I can. I sleep seven to eight hours. I prioritize my sleep, I prioritize my food. I choose as wisely as I can when it comes to food, right? I'm not crazy in the sense of being hyper… What's the word? Strict or restrictive in my diet or my lifestyle, but I know what works best for me, right? I have learned what works best for me and this is it. I have open, honest communication with my husband. I state my needs when they're not being met. I have distanced myself from certain relationships that just feel like a drain on me, or like unhealthy, I guess, is a good word.

I try to take things personally anymore. I try to stay in this space of understanding everyone's doing the best they can from their level of consciousness, and with that, too, I try to show up the way I want others to show up for me. If I'm not feeling nourished or supported, I look at myself first. How am I not nourishing and supporting myself? How am I not nourishing and supporting relationships in my life? I try to be the characteristics that I want, that I need, that I want to do to support myself. I wanted to read to you from Body Belief, a section on reconnecting, and as I talk about in Body Belief, there's three pillars to radically transforming your health and understanding that health is mental.

It's emotional, it's physical, it's nutritional, right? What are these three pillars? My first one is reconnect, so if we don't reconnect to ourself, we don't even know who we are. We don't know how to nourish ourselves or mother ourselves, so let me read to you. Are you disconnected from you? It's on page 38. do you feel like you don't even know who you are anymore? Are you constantly judging yourself, blaming yourself, angry at yourself and your mind? Are you still lamenting a decision that you made days, months, or even years ago? Are you not pleased with yourself or the current state of your life? Do you no longer like who you see in the mirror? Do you feel like you are an outdated version of someone you once knew? If so, you could be doing more harm than good for your body.

There are two ways to disconnect or separate from unwanted parts of yourself. You can disconnect either with love or with hate. When you separate from unwanted parts of yourself with hate, that's what I call a hostile disconnect. Hostile disconnect is a state of angry self rejection where you tend to be very unkind to yourself, and to your body. For example, by abusing your body with alcohol, overeating sugar, not exercising or ignoring unpleasant feelings like rage, unhappiness, sadness, or grief. Hostile disconnect creates the breeding ground for illness. On the contrary, when you disconnect from unwanted parts of yourself with love, I'd call that kind disconnect, and it's just that, kindly deciding to let go of parts of you that no longer serve you. When you disconnect with kindness, you are choosing to nourish your body, mind, and soul by listening to its cues. You are changing course for the next phase of your life.

You might be ending a relationship because it gives you more pain than joy. Leaving a job where the environment is toxic, or giving away the skinny jeans from college that haven't fit you in 15 years. How do you know if you have hostile or kind disconnect? The best way to tell is to look at how you view others, how you interact in your environment, and how you treat your body. The actions you take regarding these three categories are a reflection of how you feel about yourself, so think about it. When you're looking at other people, or in situations with other people, are you judging them? Do you feel like they're always doing something wrong and that you only know the right way to do it? What about your home? Do you honor it and all of its contents? Is everything kind of in disarray and a mess, or do you take care of your things?

What about your body? How do you choose to nourish and support it? What about your thoughts? Are they kind and loving are they toxic and hatred? So sorry, I was just getting a phone call. Instagram, had to pause you. As I go on to say in the book, I'm not here to judge you or to get you to judge yourself. I'm just here to bring attention to this situation. How are you nourishing you? How are you loving you? How are you being kind to you? In Body Belief, I have a couple of really nice tools that you should take a look at and go through. Getting mindful on page 43, to sitting and breathing, so that's kind of a form of meditation. Listen to your body and take notes. I love this. As you begin to slow down on a daily basis and get more mindful, you will inevitably begin to hear more clearly the conversation you are having with yourself in your mind, whether it's a journal, or a text message, or an email.

I want you to begin to tune into the following and write it out. I love this exercise. About me, what are the regular things you worry or stress about? What makes you feel frustrated or angry? Write out as many things that come up. About others. How are you judging others in your head? What do you say to yourself about others when you see them on the street or in the office? Are you saying kind things or not so kind things? About my space, my environment. How are you treating your environment? How do you leave your home when you head out for the day? Do you make your bed or straighten up the kitchen? Do you leave trash on the sidewalk or in your car? Do you fold your clothes and put them away? This is one thing I'm not the best at. I'm getting better at it. About my body. How do you treat your body? What do you say about your body when you look in the mirror? Do you dress with a sense of pride?

Do you even look at yourself in the mirror? It's a big question, and about your feelings. How do you feel during your day? Take at least three check-ins each day and write down the emotions you are feeling in those moments, and I'll give you a list of emotions. Tool number three. Say something kind to yourself like, hey, you're doing the best you can do. You're showing up for you. You're just taking this in right now. Getting some ideas on how you can better mother and nourish yourself, so if you want more tips and tools, definitely check out Body Belief. It just came out in paperback, too. Kindle version anywhere books are sold, but to really think about… For me, I think the biggest things is preparing meals for myself, finding time to meditate and/or journal, exercise, and the relationships I keep. Then it's also like a sense of pride with my body, how I dress.

I recently started doing Rent the Runway instead of shopping for new clothes or anything like that. I pay on a monthly membership fee, and I love it because it's kind of upped my game. I'm wearing just more fun clothing to work, and I feel excited about it, and just feels like something new and fresh and it's really… I'm dressing with a greater sense of pride. I'm a pretty simple jeans and a tee shirt kinda girl, but so it's been fun to just dress with this sense of pride Lastly, too, is, how are you presenting yourself to the world? I think with that is of course the thoughts we think, right? We say in Chinese medicine by the age of 40, the mind is visible on the face. That's intense. By the age of 40 the mind is visible on the face.

How are we presenting ourselves to the world? What are the thoughts we're thinking how are we seeing ourselves when we look in the mirror? Even more, what are we using and choosing to nourish our bodies with inside and out? Not just the food we eat, but what are we putting on our skin? For me, that's the whole reason why Aimee Raupp Beauty is a branch of my business. It's because our skin is an external manifestation of our internal health, right? Our beauty should be celebrated. Our beauty is an extension of how we show up in the world, and how we choose to nourish our skin is super important. I always say, if you can't eat it, I don't want you putting on your skin. Your food is medicine.

Medicine for all the organs on the inside, medicine for all the tissue on the outside. All of my skincare products are handmade, handcrafted for you, with love from me. I was making body butter this morning cause we're in the midst of a big Mother's Day sale, and I ran out of body butter, and it's like this very thoughtful, conscientious practice that I take to these products, and that's a way I show up for you, and the way I nourish myself. Like my husband says, why don't you have somebody else making the beauty products at this point? I'm like, it's actually meditation for me. It's like cooking bone broth. I love to do that. It clears my mind. It keeps me present and it's a way a mother myself, and then I get to share that with you guys. That fills me up.

That fulfills me in a way that I can't even describe, so for you to think about all the ways in which, it's the month of Mother's Day, and for any of you that are trying to conceive and feeling left out of this celebration, if you will, to remember that starting with you first is the most important piece of this puzzle. So much of what I preach, girls are like, oh, I got to follow the diet cause I'm trying to get pregnant, and what i talk about even in my second book, Yes, You Can Get Pregnant, that I want you to embrace it as your self-love health mission, that you're doing this for you because you feel better, because you look better, because you're kinder to yourself. How are you mothering you, so every one of us is a mother to ourselves first, and that should be celebrated.

That's what this month to me is all about. It's not just about women who have had the gift of pregnancy and childbirth, or have adopted a child. It's not about just mothering other people. It first starts with how do we mother ourselves? Okay, so you taking care of you. Super important piece of this, and with that too, just remind you today that our Mother's Day sale started yesterday on Aimee Raupp beauty. Everything is 25% off. Use the code MOMMALOVE, M-O-M-M-A-L-O-V-E. You get 25% off, and if you spend over $100 after discount before shipping taxes, you get a free Divine Feminine body oil, which is my favorite oil for mothering myself. It just smells so good. It just hydrates the skin so beautifully. I use it. I do my castor oil packs with it. I just love this oil, and it's a great way for me to feel like I'm really treating myself.

We're giving that away to anybody who spends over $100. Again, 25% off sale now, between now and May 8th so that all deliveries come by Mother's Day, so you can get your mother or a loved one, something special. Or if you just want to mother yourself, get yourself some goodies. Again to think about, how am I nourishing myself every day? That comes down to the food you eat, to what you put on your skin, to the thoughts you think, to how much time you're allotting for yourself, for meditation, for exercise, for sleep. We can't be all things to all people if we aren't nourishing ourselves. We must mother ourselves first in order to show up the way we want to, and also when we do have children, to be the role model we want to be for our child. I want to show my child that I really cherish my life.

I really cherish my body. I cherish my skin, I cherish my internal environment, my digestion, my sleep, my home, my things, right, and that we… That is learned through our action. They take in everything we do. And so I want you to have that down solid, so that when you go into your mothering relationships, or as you're raising your children, that they learn from you by behavior. How are you nourishing you? Super important conversation. If you want more of what I was reading about check out Body Belief. The first section is all about reconnecting to you, which is basically my way of saying mothering yourself first. Okay, guys. Again, Mother's Day sale, it ends on May 8th. Today is May 2nd, so we're running it for almost a whole week, 25% off. Use the code MOMMALOVE, and spend over $100 after discounts, and before tax and shipping and free Divine Feminine Body Oil.

Also remember free shipping on all orders over $75, and you're looking at the person who makes your beauty products. It's me, it's me. I might have someone else bottle it, and label it, and package it, and ship it to you guys, but me, I make it all with lots of love for you. It's a form of meditation for me, and I put a lot of that calm, meditative energy into my products, which I know seeps through into your skin and into your internal environment. It's an honor for me to be able to help you mother yourself first. All right, guys, I love you. I'll see you next week. If you want to hear more of me today, I'm going to head over into Dow Labs, and do an Instagram live there and talk about again, how are you nourishing you? I got some five tips about movement, mindfulness, herbs, food and acupuncture, so you can head over to Dow Labs and follow me there. Don't forget about the Mother's Day sale. Again, use promo code MOMMALOVE. Get 25% off between now and May 8th, a free Divine Feminine Body Oil with purchase of $100 after discount, and free shipping on orders over $75. You nurse you, because you deserve it. We need a better you to show up in the world, to help us make a better world. Okay? Love you guys. Bye. My face-

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Aimee Raupp, MS, LAc, is a renowned women’s health & wellness expert and the author of the books Chill Out & Get Healthy, Yes, You Can Get Pregnant, and Body Belief. A licensed acupuncturist and herbalist in private practice in New York, she holds a Master of Science degree in Traditional Oriental Medicine from the Pacific College of Oriental Medicine and a Bachelor’s degree in biology from Rutgers University. Aimee is also the founder of the Aimee Raupp Beauty line of hand-crafted, organic skincare products. She has appeared on The View, and has been featured in Glamour, Allure, Well + Good, GOOP, Shape, and Redbook, and has received endorsements from Deepak Chopra, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Arianna Huffington, and Gabby Bernstein for her work in helping thousands of women to improve their vitality, celebrate their beauty, and reconnect to the presence of their optimal health. Aimee is also an active columnist for media outlets such as Thrive Global and MindBodyGreen and is a frequent speaker at women’s health & wellness conferences across the nation. She engages her large community worldwide through her online programs and with her website, www.aimeeraupp.com.


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