Improve Your Fertility Naturally: How do you LOVE you?

By Aimee Raupp, MS LAc

This article was reviewed by AimeeRaupp.com's editorial team & is in compliance with our editorial policy.

On Valentine's Day everyone is focused on love ❤️ but I’m more concerned that you love YOURSELF!

How are you supporting yourself? Your dreams? Your health goals?

In this Facebook Live video we talk all about taking care of you.

Here is the Full Transcription of this Video:

Hello everyone. Hi Instagram and hi Facebook. I am Aimee Raupp of aimeeraupp.com and I have the luxury of coming to you every single week from the comfort of my own home. My office, it's soon to be renovated. You're going to see some of this wallpaper. Where is it? That. White and bright. I can't wait, but I get to come to you every single week and talk to you about best self-practices for best life possible. It's really important to me. I am a women's health wellness, fertility guru, expert, advocate, passionate aficionado, and my goal is to help you live your best life mentally, emotionally, physically, and nutritionally, because that's what health is. Health just isn't good lab work or a healthy BMI or a fitness level. Health is mental, it's emotional, it's physical, it's nutritional.

Today is a big day in the world, Valentine's Day. I feel like it's a shitty day for some people and an awesome day for other people. Exciting all around. I just want it to be more about you loving you and what you do to nourish and support you. What are your acts of self-care rather than it being about someone or something making you happy? That is the ultimate way to be depressed, to be sad, to feel let down, to feel left out, to feel alone, when you are depending on some thing or someone or some event to make you happy. Right?

Life is about you being happy now. Enjoying the ride, as my spiritual teacher, Abraham would say. I did a post yesterday on Instagram. A picture of my son dancing in the shower after swim lessons, which was just so damn cute, and I quoted James Taylor, which, how did the quote go? Oh my gosh. The key to life is basically enjoying the passage of time. How does it go? I'm going to screw up the quote. It'll come to me. But the passage of time, enjoying the passage of time, not waiting for the moment to be happy, right? So, it's like the key to this great life that we all are longing for and striving for is about us being in the moment, being content.

Not everything goes according to plan all the time. Not everything is working out in this exact moment the way we want it to. We can and are allowed to feel bad, feel anxious, feel sad, feel mad, feel all of the things. We're also allowed to feel happy and worthy and love and joy and appreciation and satisfaction. We're allowed to feel all of the things, but I do think the key to it is, is that we are finding a way to feel all of those things in a healthy, balanced, conscious way that we're allowing ourselves to say, “Yeah, this isn't exactly where I saw my life going, but I'm here now and this is good and this is good and this. Sure, I could use some tweaking and that could use some tweaking and that is definitely better than it used to be.” Right? So, about enjoying the passage of time, having fun along the way.

When we get into this habit of, “Oh, I have a Valentine this year,” and, “Oh my God, amazing. I'm so lucky and I am in love and I have a Valentine, and there's this person that's making me happy.” I think there's a term for that, and I think it's called codependency. I definitely had that at some point in my life and I still can fluctuate in and out of it. I think it's kind of funny. I'm laughing about it because I've been there. I've been there where it hurts so bad to not have the thing that you want. I do think it's really, really important that we honor that pain, that we don't ignore it. We can't affirm our way out of it. We can't really self-love our way out of it either.

The way we self-love our way out of that pain is to sit with it. What is it that I'm missing? What is it that I think this person, or this thing is going to give me? How would I live my life if I knew it was coming? How would I live my life if it was here? Then you get to reflect on you. So, where are you holding yourself back because this thing isn't happening, right? So, your goal then is to live as if it is certain. As if you are certain of the knowing that this joy can be yours. And so, you're starting to get excited along the way. Oh, isn't this fun?

Once upon a time when I was single and maybe sad on a Valentine's Day, I was alone on my couch and feeling sorry for myself in my apartment and losing sight of the fact that I was building what I'm building, what I have built now and what I continue to build and the beautiful business. Then now I'm married, and I have a child, and hopefully we'll be growing our family soon too. Sometimes I miss those alone moments. I love what I have. I'm not saying that, but it's like if you were to just enjoy the passage of time in the moment, there's a lot of amazingness in those moments and you could still say, “Okay, but I'm still sad because I want a partnership.” Right? Or I want this thing. But the key is, is don't wait to be happy till it happens. That's not what this is about.

We have to start to get into this point where we're enjoying the passage of time. Where we're enjoying our life right here, right now, finding the things to appreciate. They say the quickest way to turn things around is to start a gratitude journal or gratitude practice. So, every day, three, five things that you're grateful for that you appreciate about yourself, about your life, about your home, about your relationships, about your career, about … did I say your health? It's three to five things every day.

When you are feeling down, I think there are two things that you can do to turn it around. One is you get involved in a community activity and maybe even help someone else. The number one way to really shift your mood is to start helping other people rather than waiting for someone to come in and save you. It's a very victim mentality, and I've been there before. I have a lot of compassion for it, but you are worthy of more. You are worthy of having joy right here right now regardless of your circumstances. Then number two is to start to shift and focus on the things that you do have that bring you joy. That does draw your attention to these things, and it will begin to shift. And when you are in those feelings of being down …

There's a lot of people that are coupled. So, this is a hot topic day I think for a lot of people, whether you're in a relationship or not, because there are other people that are coupled that feel unappreciated in their relationship. Then there are people who are uncoupled that feel lonely because they don't have anybody, right? Then there are people that maybe were coupled but lost someone, and they feel a great deal of grief and sadness, right? So, this is just that kind of day that I don't know, reminds you of love lost, of love that's not yet actualized, of love that's not appreciated. There's just so many layers. So, I think a lot of people suffer around this time and we came up with Galentine's Day, the day before Thanksgiving. The day before Valentine's Day. So be with your girls, your girl posse, and have fun and enjoy yourself and get out there instead of that loneliness, and that victim hood and that feeling sorry for ourselves.

I do think there's really value, and I can't say this enough, there's value in going down into the dark place and sitting with yourself and feeling all the feels. Why do I feel this way? What do I think is going to be different in my life if I have this thing? What do I think is going to be different in my life if I have this thing, and what can I do now to start making that difference in my life? That's what I want you all to think about. I deal a lot with women trying to get pregnant and there's this piece that like, “Well, I'll be happy when.” I'll be happy when I'm finally pregnant. It's too much pressure.

That's a lot of pressure on the baby that's about to come through. So, you're my sole purpose of happiness, is that what you're saying? And are you saying that to your partner too? You're the only reason I'm happy. It's a lot of pressure on somebody else. It's a lot of pressure if somebody puts that on you. I would like that pressure to just maybe not be there, but if it comes from someone, it needs to come from ourselves for ourselves. So, you're my reason for being. Right? What are my acts of self-care? I fit my acupuncture in this morning knowing I had a full day. I've been on calls since about 10:30, 10:40 because I was late to start them, but it's my priority is me and feeling good.

Then before I got on my calls, I made myself my famous bone broth egg drop soup. This one has some sweet potato in it, because how am I nourishing me? So, what I have learned to do in my life, and I wasn't always like this, is I put me first. I've had to walk away from friendships that felt really unhealthy and toxic to me because it was kind of a form of abuse, I was putting myself through. I get to put myself first now. I get to say this is what works for me, and this is what doesn't and I love you and you do it your way, that's fine, but I actually don't have to be involved in this. That's self-love.

Self-love is what have you done for you today? What have you done for you this week? What have you said yes to that lit you up? What have you said no to that weighed you down? That's the stuff that love is made of. Oprah said, “Before you can love somebody else, you have to learn to love yourself.” Or, “Before you can have the love of your life, you got to love yourself.” Cliche, and it's Oprah, and we love her and she said it, I don't know, two decades ago probably, but it always stuck with me because I think that's the real key is until you are enjoying the passage of time rather than wishing it to be different, wishing for your life to be other than it is, you're missing out. You're making yourself suffer. You're creating more drama and more heaviness and more chaos in your life.

Again, I say that from a deep love for all of us. I have been there, and I wish someone at some point would have, and they probably did, but would have said that to me in that kind of way of just like, “You're perpetuating this.” I get some people might not at all agree with me because they might say, “But I'm doing this, and I'm doing this and I'm trying. I'm putting myself out there,” and like, “Where's my thing?” But again, you're sitting there going, “Where's my thing? Where is my thing that's going to make me happy? Everything else pisses me off. Where is my thing? I want my thing.” I've been there. I am a tantrum girl when I need to be, but that is so intense and so much pressure and so stressful and it is so focused on the lack in your life.

You deserve to be focused on all that is, all that is here, all that you wanted. Think back. There was a time when I wanted a home and a family, and now I have that. So, I better appreciate that, right? There was a time in your life where you wanted what you currently have. Are you appreciating it? Are you appreciating yourself? There was a time in your life where maybe you wanted to achieve a certain health goal and now, you're there. Are you appreciating that or are you still focused on the things that you do not have? Are you still focused on the lack?

So, to begin to shift that mentality and what that does, I'm a Chinese medicine practitioner, and to us, the emotions are so related to our overall health, and what that joy does is it really opens up our heart, which is our emperor, we say. It's like our guiding organ that really just helps. Of course, it helps with blood flow and circulation, but it really brings nourishment to everything in our body and when it is shut down with anger, or with frustration, with sorrow, it needs to be worked through. It needs to be opened up. You guys know I went through a miscarriage not that long ago. That was very sad. I was really public about it. I cried in front of you guys. I shared the depths of my soul with some of you, a lot of you are strangers and I shared it.

I just went out there and it was just like, “Fuck it. I'm going to be vulnerable. I'm going to be real. I'm going to be raw.” It was painful. It was scary. It was all the things. You could see the pain I was in, right? But if I didn't do that, maybe I didn't have to share publicly and not everybody has to share on that forum. It's what calls you. It just felt to me, it felt like being in service, but sharing that allowed me to work through it, and it allowed me to open up my heart again, and I'm free of that. Is it still a sad situation? Sure. Do I wish I was still pregnant? Of course. Will I get pregnant again? Chances are hell yeah. I will actually. Let's just say it. Hell yeah, I will.

But am I hanging my hat on that being the only thing that's going to make me happy in my life? No. Can I look now and say that was a sad situation? Did it make my marriage stronger? Yeah. Did it make my relationship with all of you guys stronger? Yes. Did it put me on my service? Absolutely. Can I understand my girls a little bit more now? 100%. Do I feel guided by this spirit that touched me and my family? Absolutely. Right? So, what is the good that's coming in our life that's here right now, even out of the trials and tribulations, right? And how can we just shift the focus from all that we don't have, to what we do have here, and how do we love and nourish and support ourselves? That is being honest, that is being real, that is being true, that is being authentic, and that is appreciating what we do have.

Then of course self-care, right? So, self-care is different for everybody. For me it's sleep. It's eating food that feels really nourishing. It's surrounding myself with community and it's speaking my truth. It's hugs and kisses. I am a hug kiss monster in this family. I grope everyone all the time. I take care of myself. I do the things for me. I put me first, in a way that I didn't for a very long time, and I created unfortunately some unhealthy relationships in my life that I had to shift because I'm learning new behaviors. I've changed the tune and you can too.

There are days that I'm definitely focused on lack, but there are also days that, most days, I get to focus on things aren't exactly how I want them to be, but they're better and they're moving in the right direction and this is working and this is working and I feel good about this choice and I feel good about this choice and I appreciate my sleep and I appreciate my food. I appreciate the ability to make bone broth whenever I want, to buy eggs when I need to. Right? I appreciate the ability to be able to bring my kid to school and I get to pick him up today. Whatever it is, just find things to appreciate in your life and find ways to appreciate you. That's what's going to help you create the life of your dreams.

When we sit there and are angry about the passage of time or disgruntled over the things that we do not have it creates a different sort of energy and it is not a very creative or abundant energy. But when we do focus on what we do have and how much we do appreciate ourselves and how much we have grown up. I said that today in my acupuncture appointment. I said, “Five years ago … ” And I thought I was pretty evolved five years ago. I get to continue to do this. I don't know if I would have handled the miscarriage and some of the challenges I faced in the same way. I'm very proud of how I've handled it and proud of how I've moved through things and how I've matured and the kind of person I am. I'm very proud of who I am, and I really appreciate myself.

We're not all there, and there's going to be times I'm sure in five years from now I might look back and think, “Oh my gosh.” You know what I mean? It's just constantly evolving. But I'm really in this mode of enjoying the passage of time and that's what this day is about. This is about love. Love is everywhere, right? Love is in all things, in all people. Love is all you need, but you do need it from you first. Not from the outer world, not from validating sources. That is not, that's empty love. We need our own self-love. We need our own self appreciation, and then from there we can blossom and grow and transform and have the life of our dreams.

With that, I do have a present for any of my girls on the trying to conceive path. We are launching a free video series. I think the first video comes out tomorrow and it is all about why is it so hard for me to get pregnant? I don't believe that for myself, but I mean a lot of people do. Why is it so hard for me and so easy for others? And so, I have, it's a four part video series. The first one, like I said, launches tomorrow and then I think they come out daily after that. The first one is on why is it so hard for me? The second one is on the one crucial thing you need to start doing now to get pregnant faster. The third one is what women like you did to get pregnant faster. So, I share some stories of hope from my clinic, from my coaching practice. Then there's a bonus video, which I'm not going to tell you about because it's a bonus and it's a surprise. It's exciting and it's really just about you taking care of you.

So, if you want to sign up for that, again it's free, it's aimeeraupp.com/why. Sign up for that. The first video goes live tomorrow, and I hope you enjoy it. If you are also on the trying to conceive path and you're ready to dive in and take that real big deep dive with an expert like myself, who has helped thousands of women all over the world, I am currently accepting applications for my elite fertility coaching program. So, you can head over to aimeeraupp.com/elite. You have to apply. You have to be accepted by me. You have to fill out the application in its entirety. Then when you do that, then you will get scheduled for a 15-minute call with me and then we'll discuss if it's the right fit for you. But you are welcome to apply at aimeeraupp.com/elite. If you have any questions, there's a chat box on there. Ask my team, email us.

But first and foremost, some free content for you guys, aimeeraupp.com/why. Check that out and I'll help you understand what you can do to shift things so you can get pregnant faster. Okay. So, Instagram, all the links are in my bio. Facebook, we're posting them right now. Yeah, I love you guys and I want you to love yourself. I want you to be able to enjoy your passage of time. Not every moment is glorious, not every moment is amazing. It doesn't have to be. That's too much pressure, but can you find little nuggets along the way to make the path more enjoyable? As you enjoy, it just unfolds more joy. As you focus on lack, it's going to just show you more lack. Perception is reality. We know enough now to know that that's scientifically proven at this point.

Perception is reality. If you are focused on all you don't have, that is all you're going to see, and you are going to stay in that dark place. If you start to focus on the things that you do have that you've wanted that are there now, you will start to shift your energy. Look in the mirror and say one nice thing to yourself every day. If you do that today, that is an awesome Valentine's Day. One nice thing to yourself. Your skin looks really good today, Amy. You must've had a good night's sleep. Yeah, I did. Thank you. Something, one nice thing. One thing to appreciate in your life right now. Go help someone. Call a friend that maybe is in need. Be support to somebody else and that is a great way to lift your spirits. So, go out there, whether you have a Valentine or not, you be your Valentine. That's what today is about. You be your Valentine. I'm going to dress sexy tonight for me.

Okay, I love you guys. So, free video series why is it so hard for me to get pregnant and not so hard for others? That's the most common thing I hear from women. Why? Why me? Why me? Go check out the free video series. I made it just for you. If you're feeling that way, this is for you. Okay. I love you guys. Have a great day. Ciao for now. I'm going to end Instagram-

End of Transcription

Aimee Raupp is a licensed herbalist, natural fertility expert and acupuncturist in NYC, offering natural fertility treatment, care & coaching solutions to women who want to get pregnant! Get pregnant fast with natural fertility care, Aimee’s online fertility shop & coaching solutions. Aimee Raupp has helped hundreds of women to get pregnant naturally! Aimee and her team are experts in Chinese Medicine, Massage & Eastern Nutrition! Get pregnant naturally, achieve optimal health & vitality, take control of your health! Aimee is excited to work with you at one of the Aimee Raupp Wellness Centers NYC. Aimee's Fertility Coaching Program is a personal guidance along your fertility journey. If you are trying to get pregnant naturally, this program is for you! Aimee Raupp offers holistic, wellness and natural fertility books. Learn how to enhance your fertility and get pregnant naturally with Aimee’s cookbooks and diet guides!

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