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Did you know that the latest neuroscience studies tell us that inflammatory thoughts are JUST as harmful as inflammatory foods?!
Your thoughts are THAT important.
Today I’m talking about managing your fertility fears while the world is imploding.
Here Is the Full Transcription of the Video:
So sorry for my delay. Facebook has changed the video producer on their website, and I could not figure out how to go live. So I was able to switch back to the old version, and here I am. Hello, hello, hello, I am Aimee Raupp of aimeeraupp.com, and as always, I am honored to be able to come to you live every single week, even during a pandemic, and talk to you about the ways in which you can enrich your life, empower yourself, live your best life possible, and just grateful to be here. I know there is chaos in the world, and a lot of fear, a lot of trauma, a lot of people are being triggered by all the fear, and the trauma, and it’s just flat out a challenging time. We’re all basically quarantined, and yeah, it’s an interesting time.
So I’m here for you guys, and today I wanted to talk about a really important topic, which, you know I deal a lot with women trying to conceive, women on the path to motherhood, and a lot of my clients, if they were in the midst of doing fertility treatments, their treatments have been canceled for who knows how long, or they’re really just concerned about the state of the world, and whether or not it’s the right time to conceive a baby, and even though the research shows it’s fine to continue to try to conceive there’s just a lot of fear up for women, and their partners around this trying to conceive piece, right? It’s just a lot of fear that’s coming up, and so I wanted to talk to you all about Managing Your Fertility Fears When The World Is Imploding, that’s the title of this live today.
If you stick around for a little bit, I do have a really special video that I created for all of you on my thoughts, and an offering to all of you that I’m making available, that I think can help you manage your fertility fears. It’s a proven course that I’ve ran in the past to really help women unpack their fertility fears so that they can heal from trauma, and I have something special for you today regarding that. So we’re going to get to that, but for now I want to talk to you first about the fears themselves, and how they’re coming up, and why they’re coming up. I think a lot of it is just that there’s a lot of unknown and uncertainty in the world, but I’d like to remind you that that unknown, and that uncertainty always existed. Nothing is certain, and there’s a lot of fear in that uncertainty, and then especially for women trying to conceive the uncertainty of when am I going to have this child, am I able to have this child, is my body going to do it, is again very triggering for many people.
So I want to look at that fear. I want us to try to understand … Hello, Erica, and I’d also love to hear … I don’t see people rolling on, on Facebook, I see one person on Facebook, but I’m going to assume that something’s up with my Facebook again ’cause it has been for weeks, and I’m just going to ignore it. I’ll circle through Facebook, and look on another page to see comments, and questions, but on Instagram if you guys can relate, are your fertility fears really being triggered right now during this time, and because there’s additional uncertainty in the world now. Then there’s additional uncertainty if you’re going through fertility treatments of like when am I going to get to trying again, right? Everything’s been put on hold, and for women trying to conceive that’s another kick on top of the fact that their lives have been put on hold, because many women are waiting for that baby or that pregnancy to start living their life again, and that’s what I really want to talk to you about.
So right now, of course living our life the way we normally would has been put on hold, and for obvious reasons, and for good reasons, right? We need to manage this crisis, and the best way we can all do that is to self-quarantine and social distance, but we can still live our life. We can still unpack our fears, and the only way though to truly unpack the fear is to go into it. What is it you’re really scared of? I think for many women on the fertility journey they’re scared of failure, they’re scared that their body isn’t going to do what it’s supposed to do. They’re scared they might not be the mothers that they want to be. “Something good has to come out of this,” [inaudible 00:04:59] said, “and yes, my HSG is on hold, and now I cannot get the progesterone that was going to be prescribed for me.”
Oh, Facebook … So Beth says, “I don’t see live on Facebook.” Facebook says I’m live, I have one watcher right now, so I’m live on Facebook on my end, maybe I can refresh it. On my end, Beth, I’m live on Facebook, so let me see. It’s five minutes and 28 seconds it says I’m live. Can you just refresh your screen, Beth, and see if you see it? Sorry, guys some technical difficulties. Let me hop over to my page real fast, and see if I see myself. Give me one second guys. Like I said, Facebook changed the parameters and told me I needed to use the old … Okay, so I’m going to … Okay, Susan [inaudible 00:00:05:58], I see you. So people are seeing me, Beth, on Facebook. So people are commenting that they’re seeing me, and I have four people it says right now, which I don’t believe that.
“So everything is on hold, and it’s frustrating because of my IVF process, so I have to wait at least one month before I can resume IVF again, and it’s with donor eggs.” Exactly, I mean the waiting is extremely stressful. So again, Beth, I would keep refreshing because people are seeing me on Facebook so I’m there, I’m on. Yeah, I hear you, it’s an extremely stressful time. So what can we do? What can we do? How can we manage this? I think we have to go deep. We have to go inward. We have to work on trust. We have to work on surrender. We have to work on peace, acceptance, and really importantly we have to focus on joy and gratitude for all that we currently have. Joy and gratitude for all that we currently have, because there is so much in our life even if we’re being quarantined, even in a state of chaos, to be grateful for, but we also have to work on those sneaky, pesky beliefs.
I want to read to you from this baby of mine, Body Belief, about beliefs. The man is what he believes. A belief is a thought you judged to be true. Beliefs are the mental architecture of how you move through the world, they form your guiding principles and judgments about how the world works, how you work, your place in the world, and how you interact in the world. The beliefs, judgments and thoughts you believe to be true can propel you forward or hold you back.” Let’s break down the main three ways your beliefs do this. Number one, your beliefs dictate your behavior and your behavior dictate your health. Number two, and this is the one I really want to get into right now, your beliefs affect the chemicals in your brain, and that affects how your body functions so … and there’s a third way, I might as well say it right now, your beliefs are changeable.
Those are the three things that I really want you to understand about your beliefs, they dictate your behavior, which dictates your health, your life, how you see the world, how you interact in the world, they actually dictate the chemicals in our brain, and impact our physiology. They impact how our body functions. There is neuroscience research showing our beliefs dictate how our body functions. So when it comes to fertility, if a belief of yours is, “My body is broken, or I’m too old, or there’s no good eggs left. My body continues to fail me.” Guess what? Your body will shift physiologically to potentially meet the belief or worse, just generally speaking, these beliefs because they’re so stressful and so traumatic, and typically constant, we have about 50,000 beliefs a day, 90% of them are the same. They’re so constant, they’re so traumatic they actually trigger constantly the fight or flight response in your body, and make your body feel like it’s under attack in a dire situation.
Think being chased by a lion down the street, right? Like literally about to die, that’s what you’re basically feeding your body constantly with these stressful, traumatic, triggering thoughts, “I’m broken. There is no hope. Why bother? I’m too old. This all sucks. It’s never going to work for me. Everything sucks. I am not healthy. My body is failing me. I’m too old.” Fill in the blank. So you just basically put yourself in this fight or flight response, your stress hormones are off the roof, that throws off all of your hormones, female and male. I know that we’ve got some men watching here, and then that will throw off your ability to get, and stay pregnant. All this talk about antioxidants, and an antiinflammatory diet to help improve fertility, to help shift our fertility, to help improve our egg quality, balance our hormones, what about the autoimmune … Sorry, what about autoimmune? I’m going to get to that in a second.
What about the emotional inflammation? What about the thoughts that you think, and how they’re triggering this intense stress cascade, and how that is impacting your ability to get and stay, pregnant? That stress, the emotional inflammation, which is what I call it, emotional inflammation, is affecting your egg quality, your hormones, your ability to reproduce just as much as the diet that you take, the supplements that you take, the amount of sleep that you get, all of these things are impacting … and changing your diet, and taking supplements, of course you know I recommend that, and I’m all for it, and it’s going to help improve egg quality, it’s going to help balance hormones, but if you don’t look at the emotional inflammatory piece, if you don’t begin to unpack those beliefs, and stop abusing yourself, traumatizing yourself, stressing the health out of yourself every single day, 50,000 thoughts a day, 90% of them are the same, what are you believing?
If you don’t stop that you live in this constant state of fight or flight, and it’s going to be very hard to find the balance that you seek whatever health condition you’re looking to heal, but especially for women trying to conceive. Plain and simple, your beliefs affect the functioning of the trillions of cells in your body. Yes, really, your thoughts trigger chemical messengers in your brain, which in turn trigger yourselves to take action. To really understand how this works, we’re going to revisit the fight or flight concept, right? So I talked about this in the book. You guys can get the book. So this is both concerning and empowering, “Science shows us that negative and worrisome beliefs predispose your body to illness. Positive and hopeful beliefs are healing and curative. Findings published in the Indian Journal of Psychiatry found that our beliefs, and our thoughts are neurotransmitters. What this means is that our beliefs create chemical messengers in our brain that communicate information throughout our brain, and our body affecting every aspect of our functioning.”
Take that in, your body hears everything your brain is saying. Your body hears everything your brain is saying, so if you are walking around saying, “I am too old, my eggs are all bad. My body is broken, this will never work. There is no hope.” Your body, every single cell in your body, including the cells in your ovaries that create your eggs are hearing this, and it’s creating an intense state of inflammation. Emotional inflammation triggers a stress response in your body, and it’s going to impact your health. So we have to unpack those fertility fears.
I talked about it as well in Yes, You Can Get Pregnant, this is my other baby, where there’s some interesting research that shows, “Research published in the Fertility and Sterility Journal based on,” it’s a small amount of women, “150 women undergoing IVF cycle found that the chance of a live birth was 93% higher in women with high positive affects.” So in another way, the positive women were 93% more likely to get pregnant than the depressed women. So what do we do about that? How do we unpack our beliefs? How do we manage our fears when we’re also being really triggered now by this outside world? For many women, fertility treatments are also put on hold, so what do we do?
I think first we have to identify that we actually have these beliefs, and I talked about how to do that in Body Belief, but simply put we have to reconnect to ourselves. We need to slow down enough to hear the beliefs that we are thinking, and if some of the ones that I said like, “I’m too old. My eggs are all bad. There’s no chance, why bother?” If all of that makes sense to you, or if some of those resonate with you, I want you to write that down. I want you to sit with that belief, where am I holding that belief in my body? How does it impact my behavior? How is it impacting my behavior right now?
Maybe some of you, because there’s so much fear you’ve been triggered, and you’ve said what I say you got a case of the F it’s, as in F-U-C-K it, and you’ve just said, “F it. I’m going to eat whatever I want. I’m going to drink all the wine I want. I’m going to drink all the coffee, and eat all the cookies, and not exercise, and not meditate, and not sleep enough because the world is falling apart. I never know when I’m going to get pregnant. Screw it all.” Right? We sabotage. Your beliefs dictate your behavior. What if your belief is something like, “This is going to end. There is an end in sight.” This is a choice right now.
We didn’t choose the coronavirus. We didn’t choose to have fertility problems. We didn’t choose to have our fertility clinics closed down so we can’t do treatments, but we are choosing right now to self … social distance, and self-quarantine to help slow the disease progression, right? Then we could also have a choice of, “Right now I’m going to choose to still nurture, and nourish myself because when this ends I want to get right back in the game,” right? Or, “I want to choose to continue to nurture.”
One of my girls earlier today said, since she’s changed her diet, she’s in one of my coaching groups, her whole life has changed, and her whole health is better, and she’ll never go back to the old way. She’s gluten, dairy, soy free. She feels world’s better, so many symptoms in her life are so much better, so she’s never going to go back. So she said to me like, “I’m not going to … Her cheats now are really cheat, and I don’t like the word good, bad when it comes to food, but how we choose to nourish ourselves is really important.
So when we make these dietary changes that we see, it’s because I feel better when I do it, and nourishing ourselves [inaudible 00:16:13] mental and emotional as well. How do we choose to think? How are we choosing to look at this situation? Are we choosing to let the fear take over, or are we choosing, as my dear friend, Gabby Bernstein would say, “You have the option to choose again.” You can choose that fear to take over, or you can say, “I’m going to choose to think differently about this. I’m going to choose to see a different side.” If it’s around fertility, or just the world at large in chaos right now, “I can choose to to know. I know that this will end at some point. At some point this will get under control, and I will not be stuck in my home for much longer. At some point I’ll get to resume fertility treatments. At some point I’m going to find peace and joy on this fertility journey.” Right?
So you have a choice, but the only way to begin to really own that choice, and choose that choice is you have to listen to the conversation you’re having with yourself in the privacy of your own mind. Are you constantly abusing yourself for things you should’ve done, you could’ve done, you wished you did do? Or are you in your moment right now looking around at all the things that you do have that are blessings in your life, all the things that this journey, the struggle have taught you? Are you going in, or are you looking out and blaming everyone else for the current situation? Because there’s two different ways to approach this, going inward, surrendering, taking responsibility, loving, forgiving, having compassion for ourselves, or going outward, blaming the world at large, blaming the recklessness of the government, of the people, of whatever it is. Blaming doctors that misdiagnoses, blaming others for our challenges, where are you on that journey?
The more we’re in that blame game, the more that we’re in that attack it really does trigger our immune system, which will trigger our stress hormones, which will impact our overall hormonal health, which will impact our egg quality, and our ability to get and stay pregnant. So where in there are you forgiving yourself? Where in there are you having compassion for yourself? Where are you releasing your fertility fears, unblocking that peace inside of you that just feels stuck, that feels angry, sad, depressed, hopeless? Are you in touch with that piece?
That’s where going inward is so important, practicing forgiveness, looking at your life, and the traumas, maybe we can’t find true deep gratitude for those, but what are the blessings that came out of it? What have you learned in this struggle? What are you learning right now in the world as it is? I’m learning to laugh and be silly. Get on the floor and play games. I have a little one at home, but we also are trying to grow our family, and so that’s a focus for me. I did just go through a miscarriage. Gosh, it’s been a couple months now, but so I can understand that piece too, and just trying to stay present to it all, and not get in my own way with these abusive, belittling thoughts and beliefs.
So I went ahead, and I’ve created a video for you guys on this topic, and if you go over to aimeeraupp.com/yesican you can check out … and it’s about a 15 minute video on this page where I talk about emotional inflammation, and how, especially when it comes to fertility, how it’s negatively impacting our egg quality, our hormonal health, our ability to get and stay pregnant. This really is for so many of you who are doing the diet, and the supplements, and it’s still not working, or for those of you that have to put your fertility treatments on hold, and you want to do something productive with this time. So in the video I talk about emotional inflammation, how it impacts our neural sense and our body, our neurochemistry, how that’s impacting our physiology, some things you can do about it, and then I’ve also … Oh, Kylie, hi, my love.
I’m also offering to all of you guys, I have this four-week program that I’m going to do, and I’ve ran it in the past at a much higher price, and I’ve cut the price significantly because of the times that we’re in. I don’t want to put financial burdens on anyone, but I want to offer this course for you guys, it’s a four-week program, it’s called Yes, Fix Your Fertility Fears, or let’s just call it Fix Your Fertility Fears. We used to call it, Yes, then we were thinking about changing the name, but I want you to say yes to receiving your baby, and yes to unburdening yourself, to freeing yourself from these fertility fears. So if you head over to aimeeraupp.com/yesican, the program is going to kick off on Monday, and again it’s going to be four weeks. It’s a live program so you get live group coaching an hour. There’s going to be a secret group that I do the coaching in, all the information will be there when you sign up.
Again, it’s at a significant discount than when I’ve offered in the past. It’s $97 or two payments of $55, four live group coaching programs, daily email support from me on tools and tips, and exercises you can do to begin to unpack your fertility fears. You’re also going to get weekly lessons. You get PDFs. You’re going to get an amazing support group with other women who are on this journey with you, who are going through this right now, and each week we’re going to look at different things. Our weeks are broken up. Let me just … I’m going to pull up exactly what I want to tell you. So week one, we’re looking at, … so sorry, I have this up. My computer is, it’s been a little funky. Let me just pull it up. Here we go. I got my yes assignments. So week one, if I can get there, we’re going to talk about how your facility is an extension of your health. Instagram, the link is in the bio, [inaudible 00:22:43] aimeeraupp.com/yesican.
So no matter what you do, if you want to join this program or not, please watch the video because I made it yesterday, I’m really proud of it. It’s very beautiful. It’s about 15 minutes long. It gives you a lot of great information on what you can do right now, in addition to this conversation where we just start to focus on reconnecting to ourselves, what are the beliefs that we’re living in every day, and to understand that those beliefs are severely impacting our neurochemistry, our physiology, our behavior, and ultimately our health and our fertility. So in the first week of this program we’re looking at how your fertility is an extension of your health. It’s all about owning the mental, emotional, spiritual aspects of your health. There is not a single lick of a dietary recommendation in this entire program, because right now is not the time to be changing our diets when we’re quarantined, and worried about toilet paper, right?
So I’m not going to change your diet right now. This is all mental, emotional, and I know we can all really use this support. Week two, we get into what are you believing about your fertility? What is the story you’re telling yourself, and how can we unpack that? How can I show you that that’s not all true? How can we say it better? How can you learn to be nicer, more loving, more kind, more compassionate with yourself? No matter what I want you guys to know that I know you’re doing your best. I know you’re showing up for yourself in the best possible way, and I know you want this baby, and I know that you believe, and you have hope. I want you to let yourself have that hope. I want you to let yourself have that hope, and I want you to forgive yourself for all these things that you think you did wrong. Okay? Forgive yourself, forgive others, forgive the space and time that you’re in right now.
Week three, we get into imagining. I get you to start to believe, hope again, open up your eyes to the possibilities that this could happen to you. It’s going to help you renew hope in your health, and your fertility, and give you powerful tools to comfortably guide you to imagine, and visualize yourself pregnant, and you getting, and achieving all that it is that you desire. Week four is all about saying yes to your baby. This week is all about embracing your renewed beliefs, which we’re going to work on, and shift and change, opening up to the fact that you are so damn worthy of all that you desire, and we’re going to tap into our divine feminine goddess power. It is a beautiful course, like I said, I ran it a couple of years ago. I’m in love with it. I just couldn’t figure out the right time to do it again, and this is the right time, and I need it too.
I want to unpack any of my sticking around fears from my miscarriage, or fears around my age, or fears around my body’s ability so I’m doing it too with you guys. I’m in it, and I’m going to share my nearly 20 years of clinical experience helping women get and stay pregnant. I’m going to be there. I’m going to be your personal coach for four weeks for under a $100, or two payments of … $97 or two payments of $55. But like I said, no matter what just go over to aimeeraupp.com/yesican, watch the video that I created for you guys, because you’re going to hear from other women in that video, testimonials from them on how they did find peace and joy in their journey, how they were able to shift their mindset to allow themselves to live again, while they were still in the process of trying to conceive.
I’m done with you putting your life on hold. Yes, we may be in quarantine right now, we may have a little too much time on our hands, and not be able to do much else, but your life is no longer on hold for this baby. Your life is no longer on hold for your ability to get and stay pregnant. You are going to live your life, you are going to find joy. You are going to appreciate all the blessings that are in your life right now, and we are going to unpack. We’re going to forgive ourselves, we’re going to forgive other people, other things, other situations, we’re going to process the grief. We’re going to process the trauma. We’re going to surrender. That’s the work I want you to do. It’s the work you deserve to do, and I do believe that’s the work that the child that wants to come through once you to do, so do it ladies.
“Aimee is amazing.” Oh, you’re so sweet, thank you. “Timing is always just right. Last night I couldn’t sleep, asked God to give me some tips tomorrow what I can do.” We’ll look at that, I love this, and let’s see, I see people on Facebook, but I don’t see any comments, and I think there’s a Facebook issue. I just do, so let me go to my Facebook page over here, refresh the page, see if there’s anything on there.
Again, I’d love to hear your questions. If you guys have any questions on specific fertility fears, you want me to unpack a fertility fear with you right now, post it. Let me chime in, and let me help you. The most common ones I see are … no matter how old the woman is, “I’m too old. My eggs are all bad. There is no hope. Why bother? I’ve tried everything, it doesn’t work,” and … So what is going on, Beth? Where is the Facebook … where is the video? Because I don’t see it either, it’s not on my homepage. Is it under video? Did they change the way it looks on Facebook? This is so very annoying. Okay, well I can’t find the video either on my page so I’ll cruise through. I’ll let you guys post questions, and I will cruise through.
Justin Renna, how are you? Hi, hope you guys are healthy and safe. I hope all of you guys are healthy and safe. High school friend popped on. Rob Driscoll too, hi guys. Mrs. [inaudible 00:00:28:33], I love you so much, and Susan [inaudible 00:28:38], I love you too. I love all of you. It’s nice to see some faces on here. I know a lot of people are home, and have extra time so they’re cruising around on Facebook. I come here every week and do this. My work life hasn’t changed that much, I do a lot of work from home in front of this computer, but I hope everyone is healthy and safe, and that we’re all managing as best we can. I know the social distancing is tough, but it’s for a good cause. We have to protect this virus from spreading more, and we really need to take the burden off of our healthcare workers.
So do your best guys, stay healthy, stay strong, stay sane, sleep more, move, meditate if you can, eat good quality foods, cook for yourself, I mean that’s really the only option right now, right? Have fun. We’re dancing. We’re singing. We had a little band practice last night. My husband plays the guitar. I got the tambourine out. The little guy had the drum. My mom’s here, she cleaned my stove yesterday, it was amazing. I didn’t even know I had a self-cleaning oven, now I know. My husband’s redoing the deck, we’re trying to make the most of this time, and for all of you that are going through the fertility journey right now, I think this just compiles it so be easy on yourself. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself, have compassion, and just know that you’re doing your best, and continue to do your best.
But really I want you to look at your thoughts, and your beliefs, and just pay attention right now, what do I think about when I think about whether or not I’m going to get pregnant? What’s the first thought that pops in my head? Or what do I think about when I think about my fertility treatment being on hold? Or what do I think when … What’s the belief that comes up when I think about my miscarriage? What is the thought that I have when I think about growing my family? Is it fear? Is it excitement? What are those beliefs? Sit with them. Write them down if you can, ask yourself simply, “How does this serve me? How is this helping me move the ball forward? Is this nice or am I being mean to myself? How can I say it better? How can I be more kind to myself?
If you want to take a deep dive with me in the Yes Program, I welcome you to do it, like I said I reduced the price greatly. If you’re in any of my other groups you aren’t getting it at a discount, so check that out, but I reduced the price greatly. I’m going to be your coach for the next four weeks. I’m going to go through it with you. You’re going to get e-mails from me every day. I think it’s five days a week, and you get weekly lessons, and weekly live coaching sessions. Then if you’re not on the fertility journey, but you want to take a look at your beliefs, and see how they’re impacting your health this is the book for you, Body Belief. This is my most recent book, it came out … I don’t know when, I think 2000 … what year are we in now? I think it came out in 2017. I can’t even remember. I don’t even know what year it is. What is it? 2020? Oh, what day is it? I think it’s Thursday.
Anyway, I love you guys. I hope everybody is staying safe and healthy, and if you want some more ways to manage your stress, reduce stress, head over to my Instagram account, I’m doing daily live acupressure videos. I’ve done 13 so far. I’m a little behind. I got to do one more today, and then I’m going to shift to something else, but I’m trying to basically, every day bring you a very easy, simple, couple minute video on a tool you can use to reduce your stress. So I love you guys, hang in there, I’ll see you next week, aimeeraupp.com/yesican, even if you just watch the video. Okay.
Aimee Raupp is a licensed herbalist, natural fertility expert and acupuncturist in NYC, offering natural fertility treatment, care & coaching solutions to women who want to get pregnant! Aimee Raupp has helped hundreds of women to get pregnant naturally! Aimee and her team are experts in Chinese Medicine, Massage & Eastern Nutrition!
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ABOUT ME Aimee Raupp, MS, LAc, is a renowned women’s health & wellness expert and the author of the books Chill Out & Get Healthy, Yes, You Can Get Pregnant, and Body Belief. A licensed acupuncturist and herbalist in private practice in New York, she holds a Master of Science degree in Traditional Oriental Medicine from the Pacific College of Oriental Medicine and a Bachelor’s degree in biology from Rutgers University. Aimee is also the founder of the Aimee Raupp Beauty line of hand-crafted, organic skincare products. She has appeared on The View, and has been featured in Glamour, Allure, Well + Good, GOOP, Shape, and Redbook, and has received endorsements from Deepak Chopra, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Arianna Huffington, and Gabby Bernstein for her work in helping thousands of women to improve their vitality, celebrate their beauty, and reconnect to the presence of their optimal health. Aimee is also an active columnist for media outlets such as Thrive Global and MindBodyGreen and is a frequent speaker at women’s health & wellness conferences across the nation. She engages her large community worldwide through her online programs and with her website, www.aimeeraupp.com.