On this Valentine's day I'll be talking about keeping connected to your significant other even when the journey is rough.
Here Is The Full Transcription Of This Video
Hello, Facebook. We are live. Another Thursday, another one of my Facebook lives, another one of my Instagram lives. Hello, hello, hello. And it is Valentine's Day. I have, you guys can't tell, it's like a purplish pink color on for you all. And my beautiful mala that my husband got me for Christmas that I just love. It's got some nice quartz in there all for love, love, love. So, hi. Happy Valentine's Day.
And to all of you who feel like, “I don't have a Valentine, wah, wah,” read my Instagram post. Read by my Facebook posts that I just put up about you love yourself first. That's what matters most. It is not about having a Valentine or not. You are your own best Valentine. You got that? Took me years to know that, years, decades. I don't want you guys to have to wait that long. You own it. You are your one true love. You are your soulmate. You make that your priority every single day, okay?
I'm so loving you are doing this today. Oh, happy Valentine's Day. Oh, thanks, Jamie. Andrea, hello, hello. Courtney, let's see. Hey, guys, as you're rolling onto Instagram. So as always, thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for letting me into your world. Those of you that are new to me, welcome. I do this every week. I come to you live every week, and I talk about an important women's health topics. It is my mission in this life, and probably in other lives of mine, to support women on living their healthiest life. And health is not just nutrition, and it's not just physical. It's not just your lab work. It's not how skinny you are or aren't. It is emotional. It is spiritual. It is, right, how rooted you are in self-love.
Today, of course, we are going to talk about an important topic that I address quite a bit in this baby. This is my second book, Yes, You Can Get Pregnant. It is a best-selling book, which is super exciting. And it is reaching thousands and thousands of women every single month, which is incredible, and it's … So, the conversation today is babies are made out of love. That comes with, I think, some minefields for people because it doesn't feel that way for some of you who've been on this journey for a while, who've been trying to conceive for a while. Saying something like babies are made out of love could make you just want to turn this off immediately because you're kind of like, “Screw you. You don't know what I've been through. There's plenty of love. Love doesn't work. Love has not worked for us. Love doesn't work when you have to IVF,” and I disagree. Love doesn't work when I'm doing this on my own. Disagree again. Love doesn't work if I've had too many miscarriages. No, but love can heal you, right?
So when I say babies are made out of love, what I mean is a couple things. One, if you're trying to conceive naturally at home, it's ideal that you're not having forced honey-I'm-obviating sex. You still try to make it fun, and sexy, and intimate. If you're doing fertility treatments and sex at home, trying to conceive naturally is off the table. You could still practice intimacy and closeness with your partner, whatever kind of partnership you're in, right? You can still have that intimate, deep, loving connection. You can still get to the understanding of the why behind why you want to create this child. Why do you want to be with this person and make a human? Understanding that piece is very important.
If you're doing this alone, why do you want to bring a human into your life? What kind of love do you want to share with them? Get in touch with that. What parts of the world, what parts of your life, what parts of your experiences, your past, your present, your future do you want to bring to them? Where is it rooted in love?
If you've had a hell of a journey and you're still trying to get pregnant, and you've had too many miscarriages, or too many years trying without any results, and you're still longing for this child, how can love help you? I'm sure that's the question or love isn't the only answer, and I agree. Love often isn't the only piece. You know, there's diet. There's supplements. There's lifestyle changes. There's doctor's visits. There's medications. There's bills. There's a lot of things that get thrown into the mix when you've been trying to conceive for a long time.
And love, the only thing love can really do is sustain you, heal you, and help you commit to you being the most important person in your life. You cannot, I repeat, you cannot wait to be happy for when you get this child. You cannot wait to be happy for when you get that Valentine Day with that special someone. You cannot put your joy on hold for someone or something that you long for. You must first find ways to love and nourish yourself. Babies are made out of that level of nourishment and love for self. That is the kind of mom, kind of parent I want you to be. I want you to be so rooted in self-love that you're going to give this child all the goods to thrive in the crazy world that we live in today.
When you're not rooted in self-love, you're going to pass that on to your child. There's going to be insecurities. There's going to be boundary issues. There's going to be all sorts of things that we all grow up with. And it's okay. No one's to blame. But damn, wouldn't it be awesome if we could be solidly grounded in our own self-love and parent from that place, and be pregnant from that place, get pregnant from that place, make a baby from that place?
To me, what self-love looks like is you care about what you put on your skin every day. It's healthy. It's natural. It's nontoxic. It's clean enough to eat. You think about the chemicals that you expose yourself to. You care about what you nourish your body with every single day from the food you eat to the thoughts that you think. That is self-love to me. You care about how you move. You care about how you interact in the world. How you bring your presence to this world, that is self-love. You care about how you step up and show up for yourself. Mainly, that is how you display self-love. And from that space is where we want to make our babies, not from forced honey-I'm-ovulating sex, not from forced I-hate-IVF, I-hate-all-my-doctors, this-sucks, not from that space. You could make babies from that space. People do it. People do it. But wouldn't it be nicer if we could be conscious, and present, and rooted in self-love and come from that space to make these babies? That's what I want you to think about.
So, every day people are like, “Well how do I … How are babies made out of love? How do I do that?” I'm going through like Jamie asked. I'm going through IUI. I'm going through IVF. I'm doing this on my own. We're trying at home. How do I do it? You prioritize you. Every day you reconnect to you. First thing in the morning, how do I feel right now? How do I want to feel? What can I do to support myself in getting there? You tune into this conversation you're having in the privacy of your own mind. Are you cheering yourself on or are you beating yourself up? You have to start to notice and acknowledge your behavior when it comes to how you treat you. That's how you do it.
So whether you're doing IUI, IVF, trying on your own, trying at home, I don't give a shit. It's about you showing up for you. How do you connect with you? How to you talk to you? How do you nourish you? How do you treat you? That is the most important piece here. How do you believe in this process? How do you support yourself? You know from point A to point B there's a million ways you can get there. How do you trust? How do you believe? What faith do you have? Do you have faith in yourself? Are you more pissed off about being here and having to do a fertility treatment or are you grateful, and present, and blessing your doctors, and blessing the nurse who took your blood that day, and thanking the sperm before it's injected into you? Are you talking to your uterus? Are you talking to your ovaries? Are you sending love to every single cell in your body?
Are you looking at your food and you're saying, “Thank you. Thank you, bone broth, for nourishing me. Thank you. Thank you so much for the fact that I exercised today and I took time for me. Thank you for my morning meditation. Thank you for my journaling. Thank you for showing up to a Facebook live or an Instagram live like this to get more inspired. Thank you for all the love and the grace that surrounds me and supports me. Yes, maybe it hasn't turned out exactly how I wanted it, it's not exactly how I envisioned it, it's been a little more challenging, but what have I learned? What can I appreciate from the situation? How have I learned to transform my health? How have I learned to nourish and support my body? Thank you for all the ways in which I've grown. Thank you for all the ways in which my partner and I have grown. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you”?
That's where I want you to come from no matter where you are in this journey, no matter where your head is at, or … I know people come to me and they're like, “I just want to know what vitamins to take and what to eat. I got to get pregnant.” You could do the diet. You could do the meditations. You could take the supplements. You guys have heard me say this before, your fertility is an extension of your health. All those things do matter. But if you do it from a place of, “I have to do this because Aimee says, and she wrote the book, the best-selling book on fertility and pregnancy, and I just hate this whole process because I just want to freakin' be pregnant two years ago. This is just crap, and now I got to drink the bone broth, and I got to take the liver pills, and I can't eat gluten. This sucks. This sucks. This sucks,” that's not where I want you to come from.
You can have those moments. You're entitled to your pity party. You are. We all have them. But where in there can you be more appreciative and more grateful? Where in there can you focus on the changes that you've seen in your body, and in your relationships, and in your life? Where in there can you start to trust the timing of all of this? We're in there could you share the space and allow your child, who is about to come to you, their decision-making in this process?
If you're at all spiritual, babies come on their terms, too. So when you're in a space of love, and acceptance, and grace, you allow for that. When you're in a place of, “This has to happen on my time. I need to do all these things, and this sucks, and this is bullshit,” guess what? I'm cursing today. Sorry. Guess what? Not going to work. It could work, but that energy impacts that baby. I want babies that are made out of love. That's what's going to make this world a better place. So, no pressure on you, but I want you to be the kind of mom that you deserve to be, the kind of parent that you deserve to be. That's what I want for you. It's what you deserve, okay? It's what you deserve.
So again, how do we do that? We prioritize ourselves. Every day, we ask ourselves a simple question. How can I nourish you today? How can I support you today? And you got to be tuned in. You got to know what your body needs. Sometimes it's going to say, “I need more rest.” Sometimes it's going to say, “Call this friend.” Sometimes it's going to say, “I need a break, and I just want to eat vegetables all day.” Sometimes it's going to say, “I need a really intense kick-ass workout.” Sometimes it's going to say, “I just need to cry and feel sorry for myself.” How can I nourish and support you today?
Hey, Steve Testerman. Happy Valentine's Day. Laura Fletcher, your energy today is exactly what I need. Aw, thanks, Laura. I see you guys rolling on Instagram. Hi. Hi. Hi.
So you know, I know it's a lot to think about, and I also know that it's intense, because prioritizing ourselves just falls to the bottom of the list in life. It just does, you know? And even in mine, right? You know, I was just in my ecourse. I do office hours in my, Yes, You Can Get Pregnant ecourse every Thursday. I was five minutes late to them, or eight minutes late to them, because I prioritize myself. I don't like when I run behind schedule, but I wanted to get a workout in. Then, I realized, “Oh shit. I should shower before I go live.” Otherwise you get to see me all sweaty and gross. And the way my day is, I wasn't going to have time to shower again until I was having dinner with my husband. And I don't think he wanted me sweaty and gross from my workout this morning. So, I was like. I prioritize to me, and I was a few minutes late. And you know what? I'm unapologetic about that because I put me first. There are certain people that might not be able to handle that. Too bad.
Aimee is important to me. Nourishing and supporting her, super important to me. Before I hopped on my call with my girls, I had a bowl of coconut yogurt. I ate it while I did the call because I'm showing them this is how I take care of me. These are my important things. This is how I do it. I ask for help. I ask for support. I ask for guidance. I take time to nourish myself. I meditate. I journal. I do all the things. I don't do all the things all the days, and I'm by no means an authority on this subject. I had years of not loving myself, years of an eating disorder, years of dating the wrong guys, years of being desperate, and angry, and searching for the things that I thought would make me happy on the outside. I spent years doing that, and I'm in a different place now.
I nourish myself in all the ways I possibly can, and I don't do that all the time. I'm not always this model of just love. I have moments where I get pissed off and maybe don't say nice things to my husband. I lost my patients this morning with my three-year-old because he wanted to wear his freakin' loafers out in the snow and not his snow boots, right? And I just said to him, “I'm frustrated with you.” And he didn't like that. I know. It's okay. I'm allowed to, though. I nourish myself. I had healthy boundaries. The three-year-old, man, they'll take advantage of your boundaries in three seconds if you let them. I'm frustrated with you. I let him wear the loafers, but I also let them know, fine, your feet might get cold. Your boots are in the bag, so let me know if you want to change your shoes. You know, it's just like no one's perfect in this, but how can we live in this world, achieve the things we want to achieve while prioritizing ourselves? That is the most important piece here, okay?
So, there are no clear cut answers. You know I have a lot of information here. You guys follow me, so you know. You hear me talk. I always say babies are made out of love. Your fertility's an extension of your health. Your health is mental, emotional, physical, nutritional, spiritual. That is so important. How are you connected to you? How are you honoring yourself? How are you loving you? When you start to do those things every day and you stay rooted in that healthy feeling of like, “This feels good to me. This is what I want to do,” you speak your honesty with integrity, you show up for yourself in so many beautiful ways, in ways that you're proud of, that's the love I want these babies coming from.
You deserve that. The world freakin' needs it, so let's do our part, people, especially as women, especially as mothers. Nothing better that we can give our children than to show them that we love, and respect, and care for ourselves. Because the worst thing I think when we let our children, or our spouses, or our friends, or our family take advantage of us if we put everyone before ourselves. And if you haven't yet become a mother and you're on that path, this is what you really need to learn because becoming a mom and fitting that into your already full-time life is a challenge. It is. And you're not going to be perfect at it, so it's okay. But if you love yourself, you love your imperfections. I am perfectly imperfect. That's what I like to say and remind myself all the time.
I used to think I needed to be perfect. I needed to be exactly a certain weight, and exactly a certain whatever to get all the things I wanted. Then, I realized what I need to do is be easy on myself, be flexible with myself, love myself for the good and the not so good, and every day do my best in a way that I can show up for myself. So, that's what I want for you guys, and that's what I want you to think about when you are trying to create a baby, however you're doing that.
What is the love I want to show them? How do I want to show them how I live my life? What is the parts of the world I want to show them, the parts of my past, and my present, and my future that I want to share with them? I want to show them how I take pride in nourishing and supporting myself every day and how I extend that love to other people in my life, okay?
So on this Valentine's Day, awesome if you have someone to celebrate it with. But remember, no matter what, you always have you to celebrate it with and you always have … There's gotta be some things that you can look at in your life and appreciate and feel love for, so focus on that. And in my opinion, you should be your own Valentine. You are your own soulmate. Check out the post I just put up. That's really how I feel. We can spend years searching for that special someone or that soulmate outside of us to only come to realize that it's us. We've been with each other all along and yourself has been longing to show its unconditional love to you for a very long time. So, there you have it, okay? Happy Valentine's Day to all of you. Love you guys. Enjoy the day, and I'll see you next week. All right. Ciao. Ciao, ciao, ciao.
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