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Disclaimer: Please keep in mind that I am not a medical doctor. I have been a practitioner of Traditional Chinese Medicine for over 17 years and I will be speaking from my clinical experience helping thousands of women conceive. The office of Aimee E. Raupp, M.S., L.Ac and Aimee Raupp Wellness & Fertility Centers and all personnel associated with the practice do not use social media to convey medical advice. This video will be posted to Aimee’s channels to educate and inspire others on the fertility journey.

SEE TRANSCRIPT BELOW OR CLICK ON THE IMAGE ABOVE FOR THE FULL VIDEO.

Aimee (00:03):

All right. Hello everyone. This is another story of hope and I already feel like I'm going to cry, so it'll probably be a tear jerker. We are here with Diana, and I'm just so happy for you and for you, an honored that you're here with me and sharing with everyone in the community. I dunno why I'm starting to cry already, but this girl had a hell of a fucking journey and she, we will share all the nitty gritty details. But yeah, why don't you start and I'll kind of just jump in and listen, that kind of thing.

Diana (00:41):

Sure. Thanks Amy. Hello everyone. My name's Diana. I'm 45 years old and I just had my baby girl. I'm five weeks postpartum, and it's been a really long journey just to kind of go over my background. I met my husband later in life in my late thirties, and it's not like I can say, Hey, let's have a baby tomorrow. So we had to get to know each other, get married, and by the time we were settled, I started to try to have a baby at age 40 with a combination. I did, I UIs, I did IVF. Surprisingly, in 2020 I got pregnant naturally, which was a miracle.

Aimee (01:26):

You were 41 at the No. You were 40 still at the time, right?

Diana (01:30):

I don't even remember 2020. So that's like three, no, 41 I think I was,

(01:36):

Which I eventually miscarried and I was obviously very devastated. The following year I got pregnant again three times naturally, and I miscarried every time. So I was feeling just hopeless is not the word. I just defeated, deflated. I wanted to give up. I was going through a lot of hardship. It was very traumatic and it's still kind of hard to think about because it's very painful. But anyways, is the following year. Back in 2021, I got a new job and I relocated to Seattle. I moved from Boston to Seattle, and at that point, at the end of that year, which was after my fourth loss, I went to another IVF clinic just not really expecting it to work. This time, this clinic was a very, it was like a smaller shop that this doctor was the only one who was practicing at the clinic. So she was going to do my retrieval, she was going to do my transfer, she remembered. So I thought, okay, it's more intimate as opposed to that whole factory sort of setting at Boston IVF. So luckily I found the right doctor because she really was very, and it was through her insisting of doing all these different checks that I found. I had endometriosis, which I never knew. I never had any sort of symptoms at all.

Aimee (03:10):

She did the pelvic MRI. Is that what she did or she Yeah, that's what I remember. We found adeno and endo, right?

Diana (03:16):

Correct. Correct. I was floored. I was shocked and I was like, okay, could this have contributed to my losses? And there's really no way to conclusively prove that, but I was like, because all the doctors said, it's your age. These were probably aneuploid anyway, blah, blah, blah. So I said, all right. So the doctor had kind of said, okay, if we get to that point, we're going to do down-regulate with Lupron. But I was like, well, what about surgery? And she didn't push it, but I've been following you for a while, Amy, and you had talked about Dr. Vidali and this and that and Endo and how so many of your clients have that. So I was like, all right. So I just explored it and I thought, okay, why not, right? Let me just get the surgery. My insurance is covering it. So I flew to New York and then I got the surgery. It turned out I had stage two, which is not super extensive, but at least I'm starting with a clean palate. So I did that, and then about two months later, I did what's called nplf, which is like PRP, but a little bit slightly different at this clinic called Gen five in San Diego.

Aimee (04:26):

Yeah, San Diego. So he does the PRP, but he adds stuff to it. He adds other growth factors to it, basically. Yes. So

Diana (04:33):

I did PRP and MLA and realizing it was probably my chances. Who knows, right? It's a risk. But I thought to myself, I had kind of resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to try my best for the next cycle and then give it my all and then let it go, let it be. So I said, okay, let me just throw everything at it. So I did that and then I also, that was the most diligent I was with the egg quality diet. I had been really

Aimee (05:06):

Like, were you working with us at the time? I think so. Right, because you were working with Sarah. Yeah, that's right. Because end, here's the notes, 5 16, 20 22 Ultra PRP and Nplf scheduled for 5 25. Right. So you did that in 2022, right. Okay.

Diana (05:19):

Yeah. So I said, all right, lemme just throw everything at it. Then I did Ed quality diet as much as I could, and I was never a hundred percent perfect. I'm just going to throw that out there. And I think,

Aimee (05:30):

Yeah, and before we recorded I said to her, I want to be really honest with everyone to show that at 44, I mean we'll get to that part of the story, but at 44, she made genetically normal embryos and it was a hard journey. I will say that. And we met you where you were at of like, let's do the best we can with the diet. You still ate really clean, but you weren't always hitting all the macros and things like that. And you had your days where we just did what we needed to do because we had to get by,

Diana (06:01):

Right? Yeah. I mean, I was diligent with supplements. I cut out gluten and dairy where I struggled was getting enough vegetables and I tried my best because I like vegetables, but it was such large quantities, and so I did green juices to try to get a lot

Aimee (06:21):

In. We did the powders, we tried to get it in there, right?

Diana (06:23):

Stuff like that. And then also I will say wine was also sort of my vice and it helped me to kind of cope, but I knew in my head that it wasn't the best thing for me. So I tried to switch to organic. I just tried to do the best that I could in the moment. I was not perfect. And I think a lot of women think they have to be perfect and that's just not the truth. Exactly. And then also, sorry. I was going to say the emotional aspect of it. The spiritual aspect, it wasn't just that I'm a pretty spiritual person and I meditated, I prayed, I tried to envision what it was like holding my baby. I pictured myself really big. I pictured myself at the hospital. I did all of that. But did I a hundred percent believe? No, of course not. I just thought, okay, I'm just going to keep doing

Aimee (07:21):

What I can. You were resilient and you kept going. And I think even when coaching with Sarah and you did our group coaching, it was like you really showed up and you utilized all the resources. And I also, what I always appreciated, and I don't mean that other girls aren't like this, but just how honest you always were. You know what I mean? It was just like, this is the best I can do. And it was just like, okay then well, this is what we'll do. We'll figure this out.

Diana (07:52):

I appreciate that you nor Sarah ever said, you're not listening to me. You have to do it like this. You really try to meet me where I was and just say, you know what? Let's implement little things that can be impactful over time. So that was really the best that I could, I just couldn't be perfect. It was just too hard. And had you taken that stance with me, I would've been like, okay, I'm done. You would've left

Aimee (08:20):

Us. I mean, yeah, and I think that's the benefit of clinicians that have been doing it a long time. It's like there is no perfect. So tell us, so you do the NLA with Gen five and then you go in for a retrieval, right?

Diana (08:36):

Yep. That's what happened. And then also I think based on stuff that you were saying, all my I vs. That I had done and I had done, let me think, five cycles at that point, none of which I made any blasts. Okay.

Aimee (08:50):

She never got the testing, not once, but yet she's getting pregnant naturally at home. I think that's a very, think about that. That's an interesting

Diana (08:59):

Topic. And so my doctor, this was my CYS cycle and I was doing a doin for the first time. So I said, okay. And again, she wanted me to kind of do the maximum dose, but to be honest, I said, you know what? Nothing's yielded blasts anyway, so lemme just take it upon myself and half the dose,

Aimee (09:24):

I remember us talking and I said, before we recorded, I was like, are we going to share about what we about that little thing when she half the dose? And you guys know too, if you've been following me for a while, I'm always, especially women in their forties, the high dose meds. And also the thing of just doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results feels insane. And so Diana was always, you took advantage of office hours of the weekly q and a and just like you knew. And so when she got her medication protocol, she just said, I'm going to cut everything in half. So it was like manicure and vSim and you did half the dosing and share with everyone what happened.

Diana (10:07):

Yeah. So then that first part of duo stim, regardless of having the dose, we got, I don't remember the exact numbers, I'll

Aimee (10:18):

Tell you. So we got, sorry, I was here before. So previous IVF retrieval results too, which I think are helpful. Retrieve six for matured, for fertilized, all stop growing at day three. So that was every IVF, all five IVFs prior. That was basically it. Six fertilized all stopped growing by day three. And those cycles were estrogen patches 2 25 foti or YL 2 25, medipure, HDH, and a dual trigger. The duo stim, what she wanted to do was Clomid and medipure and then Al and Medipure was that. That's what I have listed there. I don't know if that's what we actually wound up doing. And so then we do duo stem, we got five mature, oh, sorry, got five, four mature and fertilized to freeze. And we froze on day two. Does that sound right?

Diana (11:27):

Well, no, we definitely froze on day five. I got to blast system and then they froze,

Aimee (11:32):

Right? So this is July 18th, 2022. That

Diana (11:39):

Was part one, the part two.

Aimee (11:41):

That was part one. So I have freeze on day two, but maybe that's wrong. And you also during that time, did the preg too. We should add that in. You did the pre testing

Diana (11:53):

During that time? Yes, I did pregnant testing.

Aimee (11:55):

And you met with Dr. Beers. You did. We really pushed because it was like the endo and addin over there. They were present on the pelvic MRI. Everybody agreed with the suppression before transfer, right. But I think we wanted, you'd been through so much already, those losses, and we were working, as I always say, we work our asses off for these embryos. Let's just clear, let's check every box, right? So you did a meeting with Dr. Alan Beers out in California. You did the pregnan report, you'd already done the surgery with fi, so you kind of had both those guys on your team. And we had the pre results, which I could share some of the things that were found. So then I have Duo STEM got five, four mature one made it to blast part two. So sorry, it didn't freeze the day two. I think that was what maybe the plan was. But what really happened was, so this is also, keep in mind, she took her meds from 2 25 MEDIPURE and 2 25 faim to on her own doing one 50 AL and 75. And we got five, four mature one made it to blast. And then part two, these are the notes I have got 10 eggs, eight mature, five fertilized, three made it to blast and you can share. Yes,

Diana (13:18):

That sounds right. Those we ended up sending

Aimee (13:20):

Three to blast. And we got how many out of that three that came back, we

Diana (13:23):

Got two pls. One boy, one girl, which I was shocked. Never in my wildest imagination did I think I would get one or to get two was just like, holy cow. At this point,

Aimee (13:40):

43, you were 43?

Diana (13:41):

No, I made those eggs right when I turned 44. Yeah, what

Aimee (13:47):

I thought, yeah, it was July. It was September 7th, 2022, and we talked And your birthday is July 31st. That's right. So you had just turned 44.

Diana (13:55):

I just turned 44. So it was just crazy. And then I think I also want to just add in addition to the pregnant, which had some stuff come up, I had thought, okay, it's not going to work. So I actually bought donor eggs and I kind of put them to the side,

Aimee (14:11):

Bought donor eggs. You also explored surrogacy right there. You had a lot of pots boiling, I would say.

Diana (14:19):

Yes. So I really came from it from all different angles. But anyways, with these two OIDs and then some of the stuff that came up in the pre, I was really doubting myself that I could carry this to term. So I explored surrogacy very in depth, which I'm not sure if a lot of women know how expensive it is. It was so expensive. And my husband kind of just drew a line, we're not going to take home equity loan to do this. We're going to try with you. So we ultimately made that decision. And I said, okay, having so much doubt. And then the protocol, the preme protocol. So I actually did a whole bunch of stuff. I did prednisone, I did IVIG, I did, gosh,

Aimee (15:15):

Yours was saying IVIG. But preg had said Neupogen over IVIG, and I wrote in all caps, I think she should do both. And I can't

Diana (15:24):

Remember. We

Aimee (15:24):

Did do both. Right? I did do, and also I want to touch upon too, if I'm remembering correctly, and I'm seeing it here in the notes too, a lot of fear and resistance around doing the two months of the Depo Lupron. Do you remember that? Yes.

Diana (15:38):

The Depo Lupron, I was terrified because to switch your body off into a menopausal state, just the side effects that I had heard about was I was deathly afraid, but ultimately I said, you know what? I have to do it right. I'm going to try. And then also what helped me make that decision was my doctor, my, she was like, okay, these are very precious embr. We're going to do hysteroscopy. And she was the first one who ever said, let's do a hysteroscopy. Other doctors are like, let's just do a histogram or whatever, sauna histogram and call it a day. It was very eyeopening because I was awake and she put the camera in and I just saw inflammation. It was dark red purples. She's like, I think I can see some adeno in there. It was just inflamed. And I just remember feeling so deflated, like, Ugh, okay, how is this ever going to work? So that kind of made my decision, okay, I'm just going to do it. Do the downregulation.

Aimee (16:45):

And how for you,

Diana (16:48):

It was awful. I'm not going to lie. It was awful. I didn't have hot flashes surprisingly, but I was in so much pain, like joint pain, back pain. I was tired, I was losing hair, my skin was dry. All of that stuff that you kind of hear about minus the hot flashes I was experiencing. And I was so miserable. The first month wasn't bad, but the second month really it got bad. And then my doctor nerves

Aimee (17:17):

Too, right? In a way.

Diana (17:19):

Pardon?

Aimee (17:20):

You had you on Chinese herbs during it too, I feel like.

Diana (17:22):

Yeah, I did. I was taking it all, and I told my doctor I can't do a third month, even though it was supposed to be three months. So she actually changed, and I was doing Lupron plus letrozole, which is it just further down downregulates you. So she switched me on to a birth control pill for that third month that had very, very minimal estrogen and then kept me on the letrozole so that I wouldn't activate anything. And then I did that for another month, and that really helped because I just needed a little something to kind of help me. So I did that, and then I did a second hysteroscopy. We wanted to see the before and after, and I can tell you it was night and day. That second hysteroscopy, it was very beautiful, pale pink. And she was like, this looks lovely. If I was an embryo, I'd want to be right here. It was crazy. So if you have the option to do a hysteroscopy to really just see what's in there, because you can go through all this effort, but if you don't have the right environment, your shit out of luck. Right.

Aimee (18:28):

No, I think too, I always say I'm an alternative medicine practitioner and I will say the hysteroscopy is my favorite test, and it's the one I probably most often recommend. And also to then test the uterine lining, make sure there's no infections. But also even the MRI, and you know this through working with Ali, but he'll say not everybody knows how to read the MR mri. So some people will miss the adeno, they can even miss Endo on the MR mri. Not every doctor even does the MRI. That's the other thing. But I think the hysteroscopy too, to get the look of the internal environment is just so important to know exactly what's going on in there. And also obviously for you too, it really turned the tides. And I remember thinking too, and I think I even said it to you at one point of, you work so hard for these embryos, you have to do the suppression. And it was like you were scared and rightly so. It's not a super pleasant experience, but I do think it's a big game changer.

Diana (19:31):

Yeah, no, I'm so glad I wasn't going to risk it. I had two precious embryos. It's suck, but it's temporary. And just keep your eye on the goal and just say, this is the goal. I'm going to do it and just take it day by day. That's all I did was take it day by day and just did the best that I could every day. And then, yeah, I got through that and then my transfer was then scheduled. But because my doctor was sort of using a different clinic as a third party, she was very limited with her transfer dates. So I was scheduled way out. And there was this period where I was like, I felt like, Ugh, I'm just waiting and waiting. I want to get this done. But I was like, you know, how am I going to fill this time? So that's when I sort of really worked on the mental aspect of it. I went on a retreat, a Joe dispenser retreat,

Aimee (20:30):

Joe dispenser retreat. I remember that.

Diana (20:32):

Yeah. So I said, let me do that. And then also I just want to disclose, there was a one night where my husband and I, we did psilocybin together, and it was the first time that I had done it since I was a girl in my twenties. So that night it was so helpful for me, and that's because it helped me to really, the whole experience. What I realized is like, oh my God, I'm so lucky. I have a wonderful husband. I have two dogs. I have my health, I have my home. I felt so grateful and lucky, and I just remember thinking, you know what? If this doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. It doesn't diminish what I have, which is a pretty spectacular life. And it really changed my whole perspective from that point on. And then in addition to that, I think because I was making peace with that, and I went from a daily drinker of wine, which I switched to organic to in my head it's a little bit halfway, and then something just felt like I didn't need it anymore. So after that night, I stopped drinking. I was like, you know what? I don't feel that need escape or to help me cope it. It was just okay. So I stopped drinking. So that kind of, for a

Aimee (22:06):

Month it was all in? No, that was probably May as a retreat. It was,

Diana (22:13):

Oh, the retreat was a couple weeks before and

Aimee (22:15):

Yeah, we talked in March and you had just come back from the retreat. Oh, no, that's right. The transfer gets pushed back. The transfer was originally April 20th.

Diana (22:29):

And

Aimee (22:29):

Then it got, you were doing the Joe dispenser retreat. That's right. So it came after March.

Diana (22:33):

So my transfer was scheduled for June and I had all this time to kill.

Aimee (22:37):

So

Diana (22:37):

I was like, you know what? I'm going to go on this retreat. And I have to tell you a funny story. When I went there, it was just crazy because it's something called the advanced. I had done retreat with him before. The very first day I sat next to a woman and we were just kind of getting to know each other and we were talking and she was kind of like, why are you here? What's your main reason? And I had kind of mentioned, oh, so I have this transfer coming up. I had gone through all these losses. It turned out the woman was from also Seattle, Washington, which is where I live. She was also older mother who went through the same experience of trying to have babies. She went to the clinic where I had my frozen eggs. And even for her, she was in her forties.

(23:29):

She didn't do everything that I did. She just went in and she had one embryo that made it, and she had her miracle baby out of everyone I could have sat next to and talked to. The very first person that I saw, I was like, okay, is this a sign? There are no, there are no, it is crazy. And then in addition to that, Joe Dispenza does these healings, these group healings for people that you have to apply to. And I didn't get picked. And then on the second day, they pulled a couple people, additional people to get healings, and I was one of them. And I was like, oh my God. And so I was able to get group healings, which is really fantastic. And I remember during those group healings afterwards, one woman was just, she's like, I feel a lot of energy in my uterus. And she told me that and I was bawling. I was like, oh my God. So anyways, putting that all together, I look back and I'm like, holy cow, what a journey. It's been. It really has been a journey and for everything to align, because with my immune stuff, with my endo, my adeno, my age, just everything had to line up for me to get these two embryos. And that's part one. And then to put it in and then it be successful and then carry it to term was a whole nother journey.

Aimee (25:00):

Because you had some bleeding, you had some,

Diana (25:03):

I had a lot of stuff

Aimee (25:04):

Coming on pregnancy too. It was, yeah. Let's see, final lining check. I was over eight millimeters. The immune protocol was prednisone, 10 milligrams, Lovenox, Neupogen, Metformin. You were on it for several weeks. Baby aspirin, IVIG. And then you were doing fish oil, probiotic, prenatal, calcium, magnesium, melatonin one milligram. And you had said to me, the prednisone scares me the most. Do you find that it makes or brace a successful pregnancy? Even with the Neupogen IVIG? And I said, I do find it making or breaking cycles, and I don't typically see negative side effects. Weaning off it to 20 weeks isn't always awesome and usually comes with headaches. But I do see pros outweighing the cons

Diana (25:57):

Is what

Aimee (25:57):

I had said to you. And that was June 6th. And so then July 19th, we'd had a call and it still pregnant. So you were eight weeks, three days, you had had two big bleeds with the subchorionic hematoma, and then you did the alpha lipoic acid at 600 milligrams. Right. And didn't that help?

Diana (26:24):

I did a little bit, but then I stopped. I was like, you know what? Let me just stick with what, right.

Aimee (26:31):

Once you started taking it, your thyroid tank. That's right. I remember this because alpha lipoic can inhibit thyroid function. I remember that. And then Dr. Thornton said, keep the Lovenox, stop the baby aspirin. You were put on bedrest and pelvic rest. Eight weeks, three days, went to the OB for the first time, baby was measuring ahead. The heart rate was 1 77 weekly ultrasounds make me so happy and peaceful. And then you were doing the pregnancy monitoring with Alion Thornton, and they upped the prednisone to 15 and they saw the A PA was still present. So you were on the Lovenox and then progesterone was doing great. Right.

(27:15):

And then, let's see, then we talked again, 10 25 best s the sub chorionic in the first trimester that it happened again around week 19, anatomy scan, and there was placenta previa. The cervix was short, so you had sub scan for certain, and the previa moved, the cord looked longer, cervix got longer. And then when we talked, you were 22 weeks in three days, and the baby was big, 82nd percentile. And you were, you were getting your protein and you had your collagen peptides, two eggs. You were trying dairy beef, and you were still on the IVIG, the Lovenox baby aspirin, Metformin. And you were lucky too, in the sense you had the insurance coverage for the IVIG because that is a pretty expensive, then what was it, 37 weeks you got induced? Is that why? Yes.

Diana (28:10):

Yeah. So the reason I got induced at 37 was because I was starting to show signs of preeclampsia, which luckily never happened, but I was having high blood pressure and stuff like that. So the doctors were monitoring me very, very closely. And then towards the end, I was getting twice a week nst. So it was like the doctors were all over it. But I'll be honest, even after first trimester, I was so panicked. I was kind of like, okay, expecting the worst. Even the day that they brought me into the hospital induced me. I was still thinking, okay, I'm going to have a stillbirth. I just kept, it was just, it's really hard to shake off trauma,

Aimee (28:51):

Trauma.

Diana (28:52):

It's really hard to shake off and then went in to get induced and then it didn't work. Unfortunately, my cervix wasn't opening. And so the doctor's like, okay, we can keep trying, but I would suggest a C-section. So I said, all right, let's get this baby out. Because at that point they had broken my water and I had to act. So we did a C-section and then I was so scared, just so scared. My blood pressure during the C-section went up to 1 75. I was so scared. But then once the baby was on, I heard the baby cry and then they put the baby on my chest for skin to skin and I lost it. And I was like, all that emotion that was building up over years, it just came out. It was pretty amazing. And I can never forget that feeling. And I was finally holding my precious girl and I was like, oh my God, I can't believe she's fine.

(29:56):

Me finally here and now she's five weeks and she's a big girl and I'm loving motherhood so much and just feeding her every three hours in the middle of the night when I'm holding her. And I start thinking, wow, really just looking at everything. And that brought me here and I'm like, holy cow. I was really just go, go, go. And then this time has given me an opportunity to process everything a little bit more. And I still cry, just still sort of mourning my losses and all of that stuff. And thinking about all the other women who, and I totally get it. It's so hard. It is so hard. And I've met some people through the group that I keep in contact with and I really try to, I'm part of many Facebook groups and try to inspire others and try to tell everybody my story.

(31:02):

And believe me when I say I totally get it, but the chances not just of my age, but because I had, I had adeno, I had immune issues, I had lots of complications with the pregnancy, and yet here I am on the other side. And it's like truly anything is possible. It really, really is. And the thing is, I think it was that dual of trying working my ass off to get to this point, but also just making peace and just saying, you know what? If I keep only looking at me not having a baby, I'm going to miss the next however many years. And I was like, okay, I'm not going to do that. I'm amm in. Incredibly lucky. And I think really that letting go is so important. It really is. Because if you constantly have that energy of I don't have a baby.

(31:59):

I don't have a baby, it's not good for you, number one, I think it's not really that energy that you want to bring a baby into Number two. And then also it's just if you have a partner who's trying to help and you don't want to neglect your partner and make them feel like they're not important or they're not enough. So in the end I was like, I'm going to be a mother. And that's sort of my vision. And whether it's through my donor eggs or whether it's my biological children, whatever, I was like, you know what? I'm going to be a mother and I'm going to feel that love no matter what. And so I kind of let that sort of be my end state sort of vision. But luckily thank the universe, thank God I was able to come out of the

Aimee (33:00):

And stay, get and stay pregnant with your biological child. And truly against the odds, honestly, starting the journey at 40, which I think a lot of women do and totally relate. I was one of them too. And then I just think too of to have the IVFs that you had in the beginning where everything just stopped growing at day three and zero success, it's like then automatically those doctors are just pushing you right to donor, you're done. It's no good. But to see that you got older, you're three years older than that process. And here you are making healthies. And I mean I think you did a lot of work in those three years too that we know optimized egg quality, I would think. But I also do think it's a big takeaway is looking at that medication piece and finding the right doctor. And then it's two separate things. Like you said, it's focusing on the quality and getting the embryos and then focusing on the environment. It just such a critical piece because you worked your tail off for those babies. And the emotional piece, the emotional inflammation we know plays a big role processing the grief and all the work You did the Joe work and I mean it's incredible. You're resilient and she's lucky to have you as a mama.

Diana (34:32):

I want to thank you and Sarah, Sarah's terrific. Amazing. Yeah, she's wonderful. She's so honored. She's so smart. She's so funny. She's just really terrific and and coming up with your program and really pushing women to believe that it is possible. And it's like we said, there is no perfection. You show up each day and you do the best with where you are and just that's all you can do. And if you can just do that and then say, I have peace with just trying my best and then just move forward, just keep going. Move forward and cry when you need to cry. I mean, of course I've broken down so many times just saying it's just not going to happen and this and that, but also don't miss life, right? Don't miss on the good things that are in your life. You still have to go on and you still have to appreciate what you have and do the best that you can and appreciate the support and the love and all of that. Because if all you obsess about is I don't have this, you really are going to miss a lot. And I didn't want to do that. So

Aimee (35:54):

No, I mean I think you really came at it from all the angles and I agree. It's like that's a big Joe Dispenza thing or I think anybody in that world of the lack mentality just breeds more lack. It's really getting into that abundance mentality. And I think too for you, and I see this also be really helpful, is starting to look at all the possibilities. Option A is obviously the dream. I want my own biological child and I would like to carry it to term, but then there's option B and there's option C. And understanding, I mean, there's a ton of resources that go into all those options of course, but I think it's not if it's when, and I don't really know. I think Deepak says that there's a million ways between point A and point B. Your goal is to just focus on the getting to point B. You're going to get there and let the ways kind of fall into place. And I think about that even still. We were pretty close to moving forward with the surrogate, and then all of a sudden life happened. The universe got involved and Diana's carrying the baby. It was just like, and I remember there was a lot of stress in those moments, but I remember ultimately being like, this was how it was meant to be. This was how it was meant to be. She was meant to do this, and I loved that for you.

Diana (37:14):

And I'm so glad the whole surrogate thing blew up because quite honestly, the experience of carrying your baby and just as scary as it was, and believe me, I was bracing myself for the worst, the whole pregnancy. It was beautiful to see her on ultrasound, seeing her grow, seeing her heartbeat, feeling her kicking, feeling her hiccup, all of that stuff. Having the big belly, I mean third trimester was really hard, but that experience, it really was so beautiful. And to be the one to connect it to my baby and then have the baby come out and just on me, it was so profound. But it's possible. I mean, it really is. I had all the odds stacked against me, and somehow there is a spiritual aspect where I believe it was meant to be. And the universe gave me this incredible gift in spite of all the odds. And I just want to encourage all of your clients to believe it's possible and try your best every day, but don't be so hard on yourself if you can't be perfect, there really is no perfection. And I was not perfect by any means, but I just said, I'm just going to try the best that I can and that's all I can do. And I will have peace with that. And that's what happened.

Aimee (38:53):

I'm so happy for you and thank you. I mean, I think that's why I do these is you guys get to share with everyone because you get it, you know it, and you're on the other side and you still have some embryos on ice. So we'll see. We do it again.

Diana (39:13):

Yeah, I mean, we'll see.

Aimee (39:15):

Yeah, no, there's no pressure there of course. But that's also a conundrum in and of itself, especially it is where like, oh my God, I worked my ass off for all these years and now, yeah, it's a lot to process. I think it's so big. And like you said before we started recording, and you touched on it too, of just these last five weeks, it's like sitting there with her. There's a lot of grieving that's going on for you too. You're in this joyful place you finally made to other side and now you get the opportunity to, I don't think you ever get over it, but I think you get the opportunity to let more of it go.

Diana (39:55):

Absolutely. Yeah.

Aimee (39:58):

Well, thank you so much my love. I'm so honored and I'm so grateful. And yeah, I always saw this, I always saw us doing this. That was my job to hold that space of one day we are going to tell the world this story, and I cannot wait. Even when you made the embryos, I definitely bragged about that as much as I possibly could. She did it. And I tell people all the time, I mean, you guys have to do you, and of course we're not encouraging to go against medical advice, but what Diana did with her meds, I thought was brilliant and I was fully supportive. And I think you did eventually tell the doctor, right? Didn't you?

Diana (40:41):

No, I didn't. I was

Aimee (40:43):

Afraid of yelling at me. I thought we were like, maybe we'll tell her. But I think it's insightful for them to learn and know too. I think it's more and more, it's getting more in the research. And even Dr. Luke did a story on it the other day of just like, I dose meds is just not working. You still had a pretty good reserve actually for

Diana (41:04):

Crazy, because my am at its lowest point was 0.38, which is even that fluctuates. So I definitely just encourage women, the doctors who say it's not possible, them you have. Exactly. Really. So it's just advocate for yourself, which you've talked about a lot. You really have to advocate for yourself to say, I want this test, I want this done. I want this done. Be a pain in the ass. Don't be shy. Squeaky

Aimee (41:33):

Wheel. Squeaky wheel.

Diana (41:36):

And also don't let other doctors take away your dream and tell you you're too old and you can't do this and you can't do that. You perhaps it won't work out, but you don't know that you're not God, really. So just you never want to

Aimee (41:54):

Regret, right? You never want to look back and be like, I didn't push, I didn't advocate. I think that's so important in the part of making peace of like, okay, I have done everything I could and I think you need, I dunno, to be able to move on in your life, regardless of the outcomes, you need to be able to look back,

Diana (42:14):

Say that and find the right doctor. If you have a doctor who's trying to make you small, move on. And just someone, it doesn't mean they have to believe it's going to happen and they're going to tell you all these, this give you false hope, but just someone who's willing to work with you and just truly try your best. Okay. Thank you so

Aimee (42:37):

Much, Marlene. Okay. We will let you get back to newborn motherhood and maybe sneak a nap in if you can keep me posted on everything too. And thank you so much and yeah, we'll be sharing this really soon, so I can't wait for everyone to hear the story. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Diana (42:56):

Thank you, Amy. Bye everyone. Bye.

END TRANSCRIPT.