Are you ready for a new Story of Hope?!

In this video we go through a case, share their struggles, and talk about what we did together to overcome them and rejuvenate their fertility.

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Hello. I am live. How is everyone? Hi. Hi. Let's let you all get on and we will get to it. I am going to pull up my notes for today. So today is another story of hope. Yes. I'm so excited. I love sharing these stories and I also really try to honor my patients and keep it as anonymous as possible. If they are eager to share their story publicly and all the nitty gritty juicy details, I ask them to come on live with me and you will see a bunch of those coming up in the coming weeks because we kind of always do it this time of year. And also I never share my stories unless they are at least 20 plus weeks pregnant and I've gotten the nod from them that it's okay for me to share. So keep all that in mind. She first started seeing me in 2015, which is crazy. When is my next hot seat? That is a great question that I don't know the answer to. I know it's not this Monday the 12th because I am in my clinic in NIAC. So I think the next hot seat, I know this isn't a live Q&A. I'm going to get yelled at for answering that. I don't see it.

It should be on the 19th, but it's not on my calendar, but that's when the next hot seat should be. So we'll keep you posted. We always do a post and get you to save the date for the hot seats. For those of you that don't know, my fertility hot seat is when I go live and pull on one of you and I give you a free 15 minute consult. And also that is very public of you and sharing, as I always say, really helps lift the shame and helps support so many other on the path. So I'm so appreciative of that and that's also why I come and do these stories of hope because I love sharing the stories. I think a lot of us see ourselves in the story, at least pieces of it, and it gives hope and inspiration. And many of my girls that I get to share about, the stories of hope gave them hope while they were still waiting for the divine timing to happen and get their baby.

Yeah. I love doing these. So anyway. This case, it's an interesting case too. I was speaking at the S.H.E Summit, which is a summit my good friend Claudia Chan used to put on. Now everything's virtual, but back in 2015, I had just had James. He was literally a month old. I remember pumping at the event and it was like I was going to go speak live. I was 35 days postpartum. I can't believe I actually got my shit together enough to go and do that. And this client was in the audience. And the way I spoke in what I talked about and about, I guess, what would be the word I would use? How loving and kind I was in speaking about my patients or my clients and really just seeing fertility as an extension of health and not as your lab work or your numbers.

And so she was at the event and afterwards there was people that wanted me to sign books or whatever it was because Yes You Can Get Pregnant had just come out in 2014. So it was about a year old, the book, year and change. And so she cried. She came up to me and she shared a little bit of her story that now I could put a term on it. That she had experienced what we would all call medical gas lighting. That doctors judged her based on her weight and told her that this was the reason why she wasn't getting pregnant or couldn't get pregnant.

She was convinced that she had already missed her shot at pregnancy based on her experience with the Western Medical System. And she cried to me and it was one of those moments where I just knew I had to take this girl in. So I said, “Email me. Here's my card. Let's get you into the clinic. Let me see how I can help.” And in November of 2015, she had her first appointment with me. She was 29 years old at the time. And as she wrote in her own words, she kind of helped me with this summary just because we go so far back, half of my chart notes are still in my clinic in NIAC and then half of them are on my EHR from the last year or two. So she said, “I was 29 and convinced that I'd already missed my shot at pregnancy because my mom was done having kids by 27 and kept nagging me that I'd let myself get too old.”

“We'd been “trying” for two years and nothing was happening. I shared with you about my medical trauma, how I tried to tell doctors that I was gaining weight uncontrollably in college despite not changing my eating or movement, but have been told to stop lying about food and stop being so lazy.” So right there, medical gas lighting, right there. And what happened there was then she just stopped seeing doctors. So 29, there's obviously, in my opinion, very obviously a metabolic syndrome going on and the doctors put so much shame on her that she just stopped going. And so I was the first person that, and it makes me always emotional to remember this and to think of it, that she trusted again, that she was like, “I'm going to feel safe with Aimee and I'm going to see how this can help me.” “So it's caused her to stop seeing doctors ll together for a decade.” A decade she didn't see doctors.

And so by the time she came to me, she hadn't been seeing doctors. She hadn't gone for anything because she was just so shut down by the system. And even reaching out to see me was very scary. Her biggest fear at this point was that she was too fat to get pregnant. Those are her words. That's what she wrote. “I'm too fat to get pregnant,” because that's what she's been told. And this is where I get livid. When I start doing my intake with her, I come to realize her cycles are anywhere between two and six months long. She literally was having 180 day cycles. And I was like, “Girl, you have PCOS. You 100% have PCOS,” and that's what's going on, that was the weight gain, that's all these hormonal shifts, this is what set in, and instead of them appropriately addressing that situation, they shut her down, told her she was fat and lazy, and she never came back to a doctor. Absolutely devastating.

The system fails so many women, whether it's just looking at your age or just looking at your AMH or just looking at your BMI and saying these terrible things like, “There's no hope for you. Why bother? This is your only option.” And it really shuts us down and so negatively impacts our soul and our belief systems. And she says, “You gave me peace of mind and permission to wait. You told us,” because her husband came to that appointment. He always came to the appointments. Actually the sweetest guy. “You told us to,” oh my God. I'm totally crying. “You told us you'd love to see us start trying for a baby between 35 and 37.” So I gave her permission to stop trying and to focus on her health. And that my goal was, as you guys always hear, fertility is an extension of health. Health is mental, it's emotional, it's physical, it's nutritional.

And she was very open with me, she felt very safe with me, and over time she shared a lot that there was a lot of trauma to unpack and not just the medical trauma, just life trauma to unpack and to feel safe in her body again. She felt very safe in her marriage and very safe to bring through a child. She is really fortunate in that situation. So I wanted to give her permission to just stop trying. We're like, “First we have to figure out when the fuck you're ovulating basically. You're not going to get pregnant unless you're ovulating and when is ovulation?” But she writes this, “And you told us that we hadn't really been trying for two years because we were trying to hit a moving target and had no clue when I was ovulating. This was a huge relief for me because I had felt like I was failing at something that so many people seem to do so easily.”

Raise your hand if you can relate, right? Oh my goodness. So again, picture this. I mean, she's 29 years old. She's a baby in my world and the system had completely failed her. Had we not met, I'm sure she would've found her way of course, but there was so much healing and unpacking to go on there. So I started seeing her in the clinic and she would come, she would see me in New York City, and we would do acupuncture and she had a pretty great diet, I thought, and there were some tweaks to be made of eating more protein and trying to get her to move her body more, getting more in touch with her body and her cycle and the signs and symptoms of things. And really my first goal was to just start to shorten that cycle. Just so we could start to really understand when ovulation is happening.

And also really to build trust because I knew she needed a partner in this and I wanted to be that person. So I also was launching, this was before I had the ecourse, I was launching my first group coaching program that was purely online. I invited her to join that. And it was the precursor to my Yes You Can Get Pregnant program. So as she said, “Right away, you picked up on my PCOS.” And I also strongly suspected she had a thyroid condition and I know she's watching right now, but getting her to go to a doctor was not going to happen to get medication and I can't prescribe. So I was kind of stuck. I was like, “All right. Well we're going to do the best we can do here. I'm going to use just my Chinese medicine hat.” It was a great challenge for me. I didn't have blood work to work off of. I had to treat what I see, which is very much Chinese medicine. And so it forced me back into honestly the arena that I am the best at.

I love seeing blood work. I love understanding all the inner workings and then getting the right support so we can get there as quickly as possible, but in this case, again, if you will, I trusted divine timing. This is what I had to work with and my number one goal was keeping her with me so that she did have someone on her team caring for her. So she wasn't ready to see a doctor, of course, and we knew that. And so I just met her where I was like, “I want you to start keeping a food diary for me. Here are some basic supplements.” So slowly and I think with the weight situation, if you will, I don't know what else to call it, but with the trauma around that, how much she was pushed into this category of you're overweight, you're too fat to get pregnant, I was very conscious of forcing too many restrictions on her diet wise, which any of you who have worked with me personally, it's a little different than what you read in the books of I always try to meet my patients where they're at.

And so with her, I was like, “How about the 80/20 rule? We're going to cut out gluten. We're going to cut out dairy. We're going to cut back on sugar. We're going to cut back on soy.” And she did it. Awe. Thank you so much. I just read, “I'm from the UK. Finding you has been life changing. Started your diet two weeks ago. Hoping for my miracle.” I pray for your miracle too. And so we continued treatment for years. She's totally right. And over those years I had her on herbs. We would cry together. There was a lot of releasing and shifting that was going on and again, feel so emotional. With her husband always being there I really felt like I became a part of their family unit and just kind of helping them get to baby.

There was a time where I remember just being like, “I want you guys to feel really good and stable in your life.” And there was things going on with her husband and job changes and I was like, “I think baby wants you guys rock solid here. And then the baby's going to come through.” And there was just a lot to unpack and support. And also again, I really, in my heart of hearts and I eventually shared this with her probably years later, I was paranoid for her to get pregnant because I knew there was a thyroid condition and I was so scared she was going to miscarry and I wanted that treated, but I also knew if we got pregnant, I could get her to the doctor and then we'd probably support the thyroid, but that was, deep down in me I'm like, “Okay.” But I was always using my herbs and I used all my tools and her body started to shift. Her cycle shortened tremendously.

She became pretty regular, even though they were still longer, but even with any of my PCOS girls, my goal is never that 28 day cycle. I'm happy with a 40, 50 day cycle. I just want to see ovulation and I want to see a period 14 days later or 16 days later and I'm happy with that. I kind of don't care if ovulation happens on cycle day 30 even. It's just better than 100 because also, when you have cycles that long, you're getting what? Two tries in a year because you're only ovulating once, twice, three times in a year. So I was like, “I just want to regulate this body. I want this cycle coming consistently. I want her to build confidence in her body,” and then her body, it did. It started to shift a lot.

She got less headaches, her hormonal acne went away, her nails, her hair, all of that, sleep improved. And then what she wrote to me, “But the biggest change in me was increased confidence and the ability to advocate for myself. You helped me grow and feel empowered, which gave me the courage to finally seek the help of a doctor,” which believe me, I was eager for it and she knows, I got her to see one of my favorites. She found an OB/GYN who really practices the healthy at any size motto, which there are more and more doctors out there and she had started doing her research because I think now she's finally coming in of like, “Okay. I'm prepared. I'm ready now to be a mom. I'm in this timeframe.” She's now in her mid 30s and she's ready. She's ready. Life is great for them as a couple and lots of things have shifted and changed.

So she found a really great gynecologist in the area where she lived and she went armed with a list of tests that I had for her. I was like, “All right. We're doing this.” I remember the day that she went. I remember her texting me how nervous she was, but she did it. She was so confident and prepared to fight for what she needed as she said. But what was beautiful was the practitioner met her completely where she was at. Totally understood. It's not in the notes, but what I remember, and prepped them like, “Hey. I have some trauma around weight and doctors. I will not be prepared to be weighed at my visit.” So when she went in, they met her with just loving kindness and they were completely receptive to her story and they taught her about what is the acronym healthy at any size, HAES, healthy at every size. I'm screwing up my acronyms. “And she reminded me that my body could do this,” meaning have a baby, “And we were going to find out if I needed the right support.”

And so at that time, that was February of 2021. So that's just last year. And it's almost two years ago now. Since I got her to see one doctor and then she saw me starting to work, I think I can mention his name because you wrote it in here. I started my work with Dr. Merhi and she saw some of our lives and she was like, “He seems like a guy I could trust.” And he's also an OB/GYN. I'm sorry. A fertility doctor who doesn't give a shit about size either or weight. A lot of the fertility clinics have a weight cutoff. They won't treat women because it hurts their stats and their odds and he is not that guy. He actually just did a post about it and I shared it in stories the other day. And he's just an overall kind, loving human who I adore.

And she had seen some of my lives and so she reached out. She said, “Do you think he would be a good fit for me?” And I was like, “Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do this. Let's do this.” And I actually, and she knows this now, I called him in advance of their appointment and I was like, “Here's what's going on.” I gave him a breakdown. I was like, “She has been very traumatized by the medical system.” It really shows my, what would I say? The way I go to bat for my girls. I was like, “This is what she needs from you. She's going to need Metformin because she has PCOS and she's going to need thyroid medication because I know she's hypothyroid, but I need you to run the labs. I need you to support her, but these are the two things I want her on immediately.”

And he was like, “Aye, aye captain.” And he called me after the appointment and he was like, “I couldn't agree more. Let's wait for the labs to come back and then let's set her up on a plan.” And her OB/GYN came back and they said, “The thyroid looks pretty normal.” I think it was like a three-ish though if I'm right. I can't remember. But it was too high for fertility. You guys all know I want it below a 2.5 and so Dr. Merhi came in and supported her on the thyroid. And then he also felt really affirming about her body and he was like, “We can do this,” because he's worked with women of that same size and had confidence in this. And he also saw, her cycles had regulated some. A lot of her PCOS symptoms had gone away. We had her on Ovasitol.

Obviously her diet had changed completely. At this point she's with me through the egg quality diet, through body belief. She's like following. She's doing the jam. She's doing all the things. She's active in our community. She's a leader in our community. She shared, she's supported, she's come such a long way. And so then the next thing we needed to do was we needed a sperm analysis because obviously we need a sperm analysis on every guy if we're not getting pregnant because at this point too I feel like we've had cycles where we've had good attempts and it's still not happening. So what else is going on? In my head it was always the thyroid, but then we find out the semen analysis came back and that wasn't as good as we would want it to be. What Dr. Merhi had said was he had a less than the 2% chance of conceiving naturally between her PCOS, her thyroid condition, and the sperm analysis.

And they actually felt relief. And I know she did because she was finally like, “Okay. So I haven't been just failing at this. There's things working against me that we can improve. There's things we can do here,” because she's a very type A like so many of us, like myself and she can relate. She's a super high achiever. Everything she gets told to do, she does and she does it exceptionally well. And so her fertility, as she wrote, “My fertility was the only area where I followed all the rules and just couldn't make it happen for myself.” Because it's true and you guys know it. There's a lot of you out there that have followed my diet and if you're in a heterosexual partnership, your man's on the diet and he's on the supplements and it still ain't happening.

And so sometimes I look at that and it's emotional, sometimes it's structural, sometimes it's a little bit of both. And in this case it was. There was a lot of confounding pieces. She had the diet on lockdown, she'd done so much of the emotional healing, and now we find out sperm isn't where it needs to be. And now mind you too it's like we've spent the last five or six years just getting her back to the place of feeling good in her body, feeling confident, and now ready to face the music and see what the doctors have to say because now we're really ready. Now we're ready. And I think that's a huge piece too of the system not working for us, but also trusting divine timing and not trying to force situations.

So Dr. Merhi said we could do IUI. We could go right to IVF. And they decided, I think we did a couple months of time dinner course with Clomid to make sure she was ovulating and it didn't happen. So we then decided, we. I'm part of the family, right? We then decided to go to IVF and Dr. Merhi and his team, hugely supportive. “There was a lot more pressure about getting meds at the right time. Coordinating that between insurance and the pharmacy was a full full-time job, but we were able to get back to just being us and being intimate naturally.” And so this was intense because she went from having severe medical trauma, never seen a doctor for over 10 years, to all of the sudden she's doing IVF and you guys know who have done it, it is a full-time fucking job. She already has a full-time job and her husband has a full-time job and you guys get it. And resources aren't just like, “Oh. Here's 10,000 for Follistim.”

No. Really, it had to all go through insurance and just like all of us. And so that was triggering. She did amazing. She knew where to go for support. At this point, like I said, she's been in my community now for quite some time, she'd seen other girls go through these processes, and really kind of I think had confidence because she saw others go before her and was like, “Okay. I have the resources. I know who to ask for help. I know others have done it. I know I can too. I'm not alone in this.” And those are huge pieces for all of you to remember and that's why community, there's a quote and I'm going to do one of my Tuesday thoughts on it.

It's on my list of things, but healing does not happen in isolation. Healing happens in community. And this case and having been with this client for so long, that was so much of what I saw. It's a testament to community and healing and asking and sharing vulnerably and allowing yourself to receive support and that was the biggest part of the transformation that I got to witness and feeling safe and starting to trust and also feeling like, “Okay.” And I remember saying that. Like, “Listen, you can go to that doctor's appointment and if that doctor's not right for you, you never have to go back. You never have to go back. We will find somebody else. I just want your thyroid looked at.” I was so adamant I'm like, “I just need that thyroid supported.” And I think at that point that's when I told her, I'm like, “I'm scared for you to get pregnant because I don't want to have a miscarriage.”

“We've worked too hard at this.” Obviously there's a ton of other reasons to have a miscarriage besides a thyroid condition, but in the back of my head, I knew we needed more support. And so we do it. She continues with acupuncture of course. She's doing her castor oil packs. She's doing her herbs. She's doing her diet. All the supplements. She's in her community. Doing all the things. We go in, we do our first retrieval. She only got four eggs and for a PCOS girl, what the fuck? She should have gotten like 25. For a PCOS girl that's 35, what were you? 35. 34. Something like that. Nothing made it to blastocyst.

She was on a lot of meds and yeah, it was devastating. It was crushing. It was absolutely devastating. And I don't think anyone's necessarily to blame, but all of us were like, “Okay. Back to the drawing board as quickly as possible. What are we going to do differently for the next cycle because this has to work.” She just spent a lot of time and money and energy to prepare for this cycle and it was absolutely crushing. But we decided to change up meds and in October we went and did another cycle. So October 2021. She got 21 eggs. That's what I expected her to get. 15 were inseminated, two made it to blast and were frozen. So the attrition was still kind of intense. And I think some of that was medication related more than it was her body related, but they were able to freeze two embryos, which we were psyched about.

And we weren't going to test because mind you, she's 35. We don't need to test. I'm not going to test these embryos. We're just going to transfer. But I was also really adamant because she had never had a hysteroscopy. She never had an endometrial biopsy. I wanted to make sure we had an endometrial biopsy before transfer. And I do remember getting some pushback on that across the board. And I was like, “No. Uh-huh. No one's looked inside her uterus. I'm not wasting these embryos. She's worked really fucking hard for these two embryos. I need an endometrial biopsy on her.” And I also insisted that she get on low dose naltrexone because of the level of inflammation. I also encouraged ozone. Ozone sauna, she did that. I think you did it weekly. You said this in your email here. “We added in ozone after the second egg retrieval to prep for transfer.”

“I added in the low dose naltrexone.” I say I. I asked Dr. Merhi to prescribe that for her and he did it because he is a physician and he sees the research. I just showed him all the research and he was like, “Yeah. You're right. We should have her on low dose naltrexone. Have her do ozone. We'll do the endo biopsy.” And I'll never forget it. She's in the clinic seeing me and I said, “Did you get the results of the endo biopsy?” Because we're now prepping for transfer. Transfer's going to happen in the next two weeks or something like that. And she's like, “Oh, no one got back to me. I just assumed no news is good news.” And I was like, “I just want to see the results. I want to know.” And then sure enough, it is found that she has abnormal tissue in her uterine lining enough to cause a little concern of like, “Is this cancer? Should we see an oncologist?”

It was pretty scary actually. I remember she cried, I cried because now we had to delay transfer. And all she wanted to do was be pregnant before turning 36. Her birthday was in a few months and she was about to turn 36 and that was her goal in her head that she wanted to be pregnant before she turned 36. And you guys all know, life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. So as she writes in here, “You insisted they add LDN and do an endometrial biopsy and they found a polyp.” And the polyp, that's what it was. It had some irregular cellular division, enough to cause concern. And so what we did, we had to go in and do a hysteroscopy, get that polyp, test it, and then she was put on progesterone for three months to let her lining heal and kind of kill off anything that's going on in there and then prepare for transfer.

It's actually vaginal ozone therapy. So it is that container, that hyperbaric, and you put the little tube up your hoo-ha as I always say. So you can look on Dr. Merhi's site, Rejuvenating Fertility Center, and you'll see ozone sauna and that's the one she used. It's powerful anti-inflammatory. It also helps with getting more blastocysts. She had already had her blast created, but this was more I really wanted to prepare her for transfer and I wanted to reduce as much inflammation as we possibly could. So that's why the LDN and the ozone sauna and then the hysteroscopy, endometrial biopsy, which then led to a hysteroscopy if I'm correct. I do believe you did a hysteroscopy. That's how we got the polyp out. And then three months of progesterone to help heal from that hysteroscopy. So now another wrench gets thrown in. Now we have these two embryos and now we have to wait three more months and it was hard.

But then also what she wrote, “The holidays and my birthday were extra hard in 2022 as I expected 2021 heading into 2022. As I expected to be pregnant at this point, I'd wanted to be pregnant before turning 36, but that just wasn't in the cards. I had to really dig deep and release emotions around this. This was also when you started beta testing the wound healing talks and with just us ecourse members and they were super helpful to me.” And you guys know, I do those, well I meaning promote the wound healing talks. They're monthly talks for $43. They're very low ticket items that our team psychotherapist hosts and just really gives you tools on how to deal with the big emotions that come up because as I've been doing this for 20 years, I'm not fully equipped to help women heal with the depths of the trauma of this process.

I'm not a psychotherapist, right? I'm a clinician with a lot of bedside experience and I think I can carry my weight in a lot of mindset related conversations, but the real work should be done by those trained in the field of psychotherapy. And so I brought Samantha onto my team and she's been hosting these wound healing talks in there. So amazing. But last year, we beta tested them just with my private community. I have an ecourse and I have a private community that goes with that ecourse and you guys can get on the wait list for that ecourse if you want. If just go to my website, there's a banner up top, “Get on the wait list for Aimee Raupp's ecourse,” or just go to aimeeraupp.com/yes and you just put your email in there and you'll get right on the wait list.

So I beta test everything with those girls. They all get discounts to my newest things. They get the first heads up to anything and everything and she's been in the course for a while. Like I said, she's a leader in the course. So she takes advantage of all the aspects of the course. And the wound healing talks really helped her get through the end of last year into the beginning of this year where we then went in for transfer eventually. So in March, she's now 36, and these are untested embryos, finally ready for our transfer. She had her transfer on March 2nd, “And I am now 28 weeks pregnant. 29 by the time you share this story of hope. All testing on both baby and mama have been perfect through the entire pregnancy, despite my being in a larger body. Over the years working with you, I followed body belief and a quality diet as those were released.”

“And while many achieved weight loss from those, I did not, but still here I am, carrying a healthy pregnancy with perfect vitals at over 300 pounds.” Yes she is. And just this morning she texted me that they had a really healthy doctor's visit this morning and baby boy is doing great and here we are. And then she just wrote to me, “A note from me to your audience. I totally was in it. So many fertility clinics and experts count you out over a certain BMI. Aimee did not and neither did my OB/GYN or Rejuvenating Fertility Center or Dr. Merhi and I'm so grateful for that. If you're scared that you're too heavy to get pregnant, please don't count yourself out. Trust your body, continue to listen to it,” and I would also add in there, if you're scared that you're too heavy, too old, to anything to get pregnant, don't count yourself out. “Trust your body, continue to listen to it, and nourish it with food and movement, but don't use food and movement to punish yourself for being too big.”

“Your body is strong and capable and you can do this and there's nothing wrong with accepting help if you need it. As Aimee tells us, remember that your doctors work for you, not the other way around. If your doctors aren't supportive of you and your body, kick them to the curb and find someone who will.” Yeah. Beautifully stated. And I think that right here is a beautiful testimonial that I think we should use, speaking to my team here, that so many fertility clinics and experts count you out over a certain BMI, over a certain age, with a certain AMH, with a certain FSH. And here I am like a train wreck, but we knew I was going to cry. We knew and you're probably crying too. I was told this morning I have POF, POI, and will never conceive. These stories give hope.

Well thank you. That's the whole point of them. That's whole point is to give you hope. You're amazing. I'm trying to conceive since 13 months, but still trying. I did my TSH and it came out to be a 4.6. My doctor said, “It's fine. Let's treat you with Clomid.” Yeah. Find another doctor because that doctor sucks. 4.66 is not fine. Okay guys. I'm going to go and make myself some lunch. I love all of you. Keep at it and go here more than here. Okay? Trust this more and trust in the timing of your life, trust in the guidance and support that surrounds you, and don't ever lose faith in this beautiful body of yours. Okay. Have a beautiful day.

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CHECK OUT MY BOOKS: Aimee Raupp offers holistic, wellness and natural fertility books. Learn how to enhance your fertility and get pregnant naturally with Aimee’s cookbooks and diet guides! Shop Aimee Raupp's natural fertility shop with online workshops, videos, consultation and coaching on fertility, meditation and healthy nutrition! https://aimeeraupp.com/how-to-get-pregnant-natural-fertility-books/

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