Overcome negative doctors and work through the emotional piece of the fertility journey by following the advice and guidance of fertility expert, Aimee Raupp MS, LAc.

Welcome to Stories of Hope: True tales of life, love, and perseverance from the Yes, You Can Get Pregnant community. Because we’re on the fertility journey together.

Below you'll find a transcript of my video interview with Dr. Samantha Hiotakis about her fertility journey and working with me. Please listen along or read if you prefer.

Aimee:

See. Just a second. Does it say we're live on Zoom?

Samantha:

[inaudible 00:00:09].

Aimee:

Let me see. Oh, we are live on Facebook. Hey guys, I know we're a few minutes late. We were just doing a little catch up before we came on and hello. Hello. Hello. How is everyone? Let's make sure we are sounding and looking good. Beth, just text me if there's any technical difficulties on that side. I see you now. You're good, she says. Oh right. I love it. So hello guys. I am here with you with yet another story of hope.

Aimee:

I have to first start out and say that I was thinking about that this morning. How honored am I that my girls want to come live and talk to tens of thousands of people about their fertility story. They don't mind sharing their real name and their real story. They're doing it all out of kindness and love and hope for you guy, because they were once in your shoes. It's such an honor to me because it's a simple ask and it's not like we have to pull any charades to get people to come on live and just that you guys are willing to do this. So it means so much.

Aimee:

Samantha came live with me last year too. She's got a great story. She's an awesome lady. She's also transformed her career to now support women. Well, I'll let you tell. So I thought it was twofold an advantage too. So you could see how she did overcome these fertility challenges and these really bad. I do that, because you guys know how I feel about FSHMH, but these are really bad numbers where fertility doctors literally wouldn't even take her case. So she defied the odds and got pregnant naturally at 41, gave birth at 42. Here she is to talk about it now with a toddler and how her life has changed. So Sam, why don't you tell us, Samantha a bit about your story and we'll just let it unfold from there.

Samantha:

Yeah. Well, thank you so much for having me. It really is an honor to be able to share the story of hope, because honestly, when I was in your shoes, that I was just looking everywhere for a story of hope. I was Googling and just grabbing on. And then when I had found Aimee, it was the universe answered this prayer because she was exactly what I needed at the time. A little backdrop is, in 2008, I had a really horrific medical situation that came up that had nothing to do with pregnancy. But it kind of put in the back of my mind that our bodies are intuitive. If we listen, they're going to tell us things that maybe the medical community doesn't know. So when I was hit very hard, when I was told that having a child wouldn't be possible, of course I mourned and I cried. I then went into that goal mode of, “All right. Well, I can't have a child says my conventional OB GYN, but that's not the fertility specialist.”

Samantha:

So then I went and I called the best fertility clinics. Best fertility clinics in the city. I spoke to this very bubbly lady on the phone and she took all my information and she said, “Well, before we make the appointment, you need to just send us your labs.” I'm like, “Fine, no problem.” Boom sent them over, called her back. Now the person that was on the other end of the line was the same woman with just such a different vibe. She basically was just very stoic. She said, “We won't be making an appointment. We can make an appointment with you. Your labs are not good enough.” I remember saying to myself… I was kind of caught off guard and I said, “Well, what do you mean? Can I just meet with the doctor?” She said, “No, he's not going to take you on as a case. Have you thought of adoption?”

Samantha:

Now keep in mind, this is a stranger over the phone, that's just blowing up my idea of what I thought motherhood for me was going to be like. So I was crushed and I was shut down by multiple fertility clinics, because I don't have the exact numbers. I'm sure they're in Aimee's files. But my FSH was in the mid to high 20s. My AMH was almost nonexistent, I think it was a 0.01, right? So it just defied all things. So that experience back in 2008, where I had to listen to my body and that's where I found some spiritual stuff with Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer. I was able to call on to that. And what I did is instead of just burying my head in the sand and accepting this as it, I said, “There has to be another way,” right?

Samantha:

So Google, I think part of Google part of universe led me to Aimee. I remember I called her and I was able to somehow get a session with you quite quickly. I needed that and we spoke and your teachings were exactly what I needed to hear. They were hope and it was empowering me to listen to my body. It was just happenstance that I live out on Long Island in the Hamptons. And at that time you were coming out East for the summers. And for me going into the city regularly, wasn't going to work with my work schedule, but she was going to be up here. So again, things worked and we worked together.

Aimee:

Universe had our back for sure.

Samantha:

Oh yeah. We worked together regularly and it was part, obviously the fertility work, the acupuncture work, and I really dug into understanding eastern medicine. I'm somebody that needs to understand what is happening. I did everything that you said. I ordered the liver pills. Really, I made my first batch of bone broth, which is now a regular Sunday thing for me. I remember posting it. I was just so excited and I had what I thought was a healthy lifestyle that I just really cultivated more to really create this part of my body that served as a temple. I remember somebody told me once, if you Google anything, you can find data to support it. So I stopped Googling the negative and I started Googling stories of hope of women getting pregnant naturally in their 40s. And then all of a sudden, my Google feed was filling with books and stories of this and it was just supportive. So it kind of goes to everything that Aimee teaches. And then you, at that time, you came up with your course and it's hard to have stamina in this.

Samantha:

I'm one of those people that comes on like bull and I'm very strong, but then if I don't start to see results, I start to… I remember I called you. I said, “I'm feeling like I need to take a pause.” I took a pause from the one-on-one, but I still wanted to do some of the passive. That's exactly when you had launched the course. I was in that place. I don't know if any of you have been there where I just wanted to be in my bed and kind of sulking a little bit. I was in my pajamas and I was listening to Aimee and I was in that closed off space where I was protecting myself. I remember just listening to the course and I was getting pieces that I needed that kind of gave me that resurgence of energy again, to listen to my body.

Samantha:

I remember it was really, really hard. That's an understatement of everything that you're going through. So I think my biggest takeaway is really just listen to what comes up for you, because I think there's always that reason. If you feel like taking a break or pausing or doing what I did, right? Where I was more just receiving the information, as opposed to being an active participant. Yet that time you were back in the city and I wasn't making the trips into the city, but I was still… I was benefiting greatly because it [crosstalk 00:08:28]-

Aimee:

Yeah, because you would tune into office hours or listen to them later, but not really participate per se. There's a lot of girls in the course like that too, where they're silently stocking the page and listening to everything and taking a course and still really benefiting from the community. Even as someone who's not overly interactive. I would see your name pop up, if I was in the lives. Or she would email me a question. So I knew she was in the course and doing the work.

Aimee:

But I mean, from my perspective, too you were incredible at all. The tangible stuff. It was like, this is the diet, these are the supplements. She had her routine down and it was solid. Is perfect. And then it was the emotional piece that was really the work and half the time when you would come in for acupuncture too, we would just talk about Abraham or Gabby Bernstein or Wayne Dyer, right? [crosstalk 00:09:28]. We would just have these deeper conversations. It was the mindset piece that I felt it was the final shift, right?

Samantha:

Yeah. I mean, it's so interesting because what your audience doesn't know is in a past life, my previous career was as a psychologist, right? So I had the training, I understood the power of mind, but for me I was missing it. It was like, I was so cognitively in tune with how to deliver that I wasn't able to receive it for myself. So for me, having to go spiritual was really important. And then for me, grace, giving myself grace and giving myself permission. Which wasn't something that I ever did in my life before, because it was like, if I wasn't achieving and I… Listen, this may sound callous, but I always thought that I wasn't achieving because I wasn't able to achieve the pregnancy. So I saw it as a failure. I saw it as my body failing, me failing. Billy would be as supportive as he could be, but he didn't know that I would have, I don't know, a stomach cramp or I would have a headache. I was Googling, is this early sign of pregnancy?

Samantha:

And then the amount of pregnancy tests that I was taking, he had no idea how many I had thrown away. It was this compulsion to access something. It was only when I stopped and I stopped that kind of compulsive behavior to achieve something that it's… I walked away from this as that it wasn't just a tangible experience, but it was a spiritual experience in my son Shep when he arrived, he was exactly who we were supposed to have at the time. If Billy and I had met at a different time or had another child that wouldn't be who we have now. So I have the ability to say that on the other side. I'm not trying to say this in a way that hurts or anything, but I really do believe that there is more timing to this than we even know. [crosstalk 00:11:39]-

Aimee:

I remember one thing you said last year that I still quote you on. That you said you came to this place where you were like, “Okay, I'm going to have to make peace with both directions in my life.” A childless marriage and what that could look like and make peace with that. And then make peace with, if we do do this. That happened obviously before she conceived naturally. But that you got to this place of… That was during the time where we really weren't communicating much at all anymore. I would hear from you here and there. What's interesting too, is your periods were a shorter cycle and a little, they would kind of do this funky thing, jump around a little bit.

Aimee:

I always found that interesting, in retrospect, that that never changed that much. You were still ovulating and menstruating regularly, but we never achieved a perfect cycle. So I say that because I want you guys to understand that we're not robots and that this isn't always about achieving this perfection with your body. That it's doing the right things to support your body. You're still menstruating and ovulating, even if that's wonky month to month and that you're working on that emotional piece. But I just always remember how… So if you could talk about that piece.

Samantha:

Thank you so much for reminding me. I came to that point where it was, we were about a year in and I was in that kind of, that place of really having to turn inward. Because I was feeling perhaps this wasn't going to happen. Honestly, I don't know if you are all doing this, but I was tracking everything right on my phone. Like I said, I was taking almost without exaggeration, I'm ashamed to say, but I was probably taking three to four pregnancy tests a week. It didn't matter where I was in the cycle. I was Googling when pregnancy tests are wrong. It was really wreaking havoc. Billy and I had gone to Paris for my birthday and I remember saying to myself, “Wouldn't it be magical to get pregnant in Paris?” When we did it, that was just the icing on the cake. I just needed to pause.

Samantha:

That's when I stepped back and I said to myself, I have to align with the two possible outcomes and what that life would look like with or without. Now, obviously I didn't know what having a child was going to feel like, but I had an idea of what our lives would look like. It took me a long time, but I honestly made peace with both. I was okay with both. I wasn't thrilled, but my heart wasn't in pain as much as it was in that Paris trip.

Samantha:

The kicker in the Paris trip is I got my period on day two. So it was just really… It was painful. I don't think necessarily our husbands, our partners understand that for me. Getting my period was a death for me every time. I used to tell Billy, “I'm going through morning. I need a day where you just leave me alone.” I needed to just go in to be able to come out. But when we did get pregnant, it was really. It was everything. Like what you just said. I had found a doctor who used to do IVF, but then stepped away from it because he said he really believed and I'm blanking on his name.

Aimee:

Sammy David.

Samantha:

Yes. I loved him. He figured out that I was ovulating on these weird like day 20, 21, right? Weird. Because he would take all these tests and my son was conceived on day 20. Like you said, I had very random periods. So I think working with you and then getting that information from Dr. David also helped me relinquish the idea of control and timelines, because I had always had it in my head. Day 14 is when I'm going to need to conceive. And then he said, “Your body's not operating the way that everybody else's necessarily is. So we got to let that go.” So I was just getting all these things, saying to release these ideals of what I had. And when we got pregnant, I took four pregnancy tests thinking this is not possible. I literally-

Aimee:

First she messaged me, because remember your periods, she like had spotting, was weird. You were afraid you were in perimenopause, is this [crosstalk 00:16:16]-

Samantha:

Oh yeah. The doctors were telling me. Yeah.

Aimee:

She was freaking… And the email. I was like, “Have you taken a pregnancy test?” You were kind of annoyed with me for asking, because you were just like, “Aimee.” And then she did and so then tell that part.

Samantha:

Yes. So I mean, I'm laughing at it now, but at the time I was annoyed.

Aimee:

Yeah. It was so stressful.

Samantha:

At that because every doctor was saying I was in early menopause, which as a side note, I went into early menopause this January and my doctor said to me, “Your eggs have done their job and you're done.” What a callous thing to say or whatever. You're in early menopause and here's these drugs and everything. At first I didn't feel the script. Billy said, “Oh, he doesn't know who he's dealing with.” He said, “How long before you're going to reverse it.” I said, “I don't know, give me three months.” I'm in my period now, as of April. That's just aside note about the power of robotics. But when we found out, I remember I took the pregnancy test and I threw it at Billy, very angry. I said, “You read this.” Because I had been so conditioned that these pregnancy tests were a negative thing that when it showed me what I wanted to show it, I didn't have the joy. I had anger. Like, “How dare this thing, make me feel like that.”

Samantha:

He looked at it and he was obviously much calmer than I am. He goes, “Samantha, it's positive.” I said, “No, it's not.” So I called the doctor and of course the doctor's office, they're still frustrating. They said, “Well, we can see you until you're eight to weeks and then we'll…” I said, “You don't understand. I'm supposed to be in menopause. I took four pregnancy tests. I will come down and stalk you. I need to see the doctor today.”

Samantha:

So they got me an appointment that afternoon. And even the doctor said, “These tests, like we said, you're in early menopause.” It wasn't even peri-menopause. They were saying I was in full blown menopause. He said, “I'm going to…” He gave me the test. He said, “I'm going to do a sonogram.” I swear, he turned white. I didn't know a sonogram. I didn't know what I was listening for. I hear the swishing, the water. He started to… He looked shocked. He looked at me and he looked at Billy and he said, “You know what that is?” I said, “Well, is something else wrong? What else is wrong?” He goes, “Samantha it's a heartbeat.” So from them from the-

Aimee:

You're already six or seven weeks weren't yet at that point.

Samantha:

I was eight. Yeah. Yeah. So it was really, lucky again, the universe, right?

Aimee:

I thought you were so protected because of how anxious, where you were at. I felt like that was such a protection that she didn't even go through those early tests. Literally she was just eight weeks pregnant. So it's just like that. It was just like, “Boom.” Here you are eight weeks because felt that would have been… I don't know. It was such a blessing. I remember [crosstalk 00:19:08]-

Samantha:

It was. And again, I don't think I would've survived, not seeing a doctor and not having it validated. The fact that everything just… They had a cancellation and then he said, “I don't normally do this.” He did the sonogram and we had proof. And at the time Mark Hyman, some of you may know who that is. He was my doctor and I had a phone conference set up for him at 4:00 that afternoon. When I had seen him that January, I had gotten notified that I was pregnant in May. When I saw him in January, he said, “Why are you here?” I said, “Well, I just want to be my healthiest self. I'm older and I'm want to get pregnant, but I know I'm older.” He goes, “Just stop it.”

Samantha:

He said, “One of my best friends just got pregnant at 43. I don't want to hear that. So let's move on.” So when I called him for our appointment, I was laughing and he was like, “What are you laughing about?” I said, “I don't even know how to tell you this, but I'm pregnant.” So I suffered from Epstein-Barr and we were doing a lot of support around the Epstein-Barr and he said, “All right. We need to change your entire protocol.” So I had a lot of prenatal advice from Mark Hyman, which was great. That was all on the same day. So it was like you said, it was just… Everything kind of fell into place. Just so that you're aware anybody that is in their 40s, like I was, the doctor said to me that I had the healthiest pregnancy in the doctor's office and I was the oldest one in the doctor's office that was pregnant. So I was like, “Yes.”

Aimee:

It worked.

Samantha:

All the stuff that we do and my son is healthy and it's like… Even my doctor said, “I talk about you at medical conventions because you're a medical anomaly.” I keep saying, “I'm not an anomaly, I'm somebody that's nurturing their body.” But it's so hard for that… Cognitive dissonance is [crosstalk 00:20:58]-

Aimee:

Yeah, it is.

Samantha:

Yeah. The whole thing was amazing.

Aimee:

And then tell us about to, because there was a career transformation that happened through all of this as well. You should [crosstalk 00:21:11] everyone.

Samantha:

Yeah. Yeah. Before I got pregnant, I was always interested in the mind body connection and I had the mind part, well, I thought I did, at being the psychologist, but I was missing something. I know I had gone through that traumatic experience in 2008 where I ended up with cardiac issues and the whole. I had a very routine surgery that I ended up bleeding out from. I ended up bedridden for over nine months, unable to walk, unable to see the whole thing. I was able to kind of reverse that or reverse my cardiac condition. I reversed all of it, how I really can't put into framework. But even before Shep was born, I wanted to learn more about the power of wellness coaching, and health coaching and the power of our bodies and listening and tuning into the frequency.

Samantha:

So I did all the training and I actually got my certification. I had Shep next to me at two months of age and I took the final exam. They let me do it on a Zoom call. It was three hours, which is, it was really intense, but I did it. So I left my brick and mortar career. I now have an online company helping women tap into their wellness and realizing that it's a gift that we overlook. I think that so many people think it's very difficult and it's because it's our beliefs. Once we work on our beliefs, the wellness piece kind of unfolds easily.

Aimee:

Unfolds.

Samantha:

I really think that the hardships I had were journeys for me to go on. I think we all have a calling and if it wasn't for everything I went through, I wouldn't be able to have this incredible career. It's incredible. The whole thing is amazing. I'm grateful. I'm really grateful.

Aimee:

It's like so much of what I talk about and what you and I always discussed too, is like, “What are you giving birth to?” So besides even trying to conceive this child, but just giving birth to better health and vitality and this transformation. That was so awesome to witness as well, from an outsider, right? It was watching you go through this transformation and becoming a mother. But at the same time realizing, “Okay, my career practice is going to change as well.” This is really where I am to be of service, because you really did defy the odds, right? And defy kind of what the medical community says. You never gave up and you were tenacious.

Aimee:

It's such a gift to be able to share that with others and to inspire others too. But I feel I see that all the time where you see these transformations, not just physically and not just the manifestation of a child. But in our lives, in our relationships, in our careers. That's so much of, I believe the work because when you really start to nourish yourself and provide for yourself in the way that you are worthy of or that you deserve, that's when you see all of these shifts really happen and-

Samantha:

Oh yeah. I think what I had a hard time with during this process, and you were such an incredible sounding board, Aimee was, I was very resentful and angry with my body and that is not a space that can cultivate the growth of [crosstalk 00:24:36]-

Aimee:

There's no creation there. There's zero creation there. So like I saw on the Facebook, I mean, I know people are relating and thank you so much for speaking to me. Thank you so much for this motivation, what an amazing journey. One woman wrote, I don't know why these comments hide themselves on me, but giving yourself grace. I feel that's the biggest thing. Is like so much of the work is not just, “Oh, okay, I'm going to do the diet and I'm going to take the supplements. I'm just going to check the boxes and make sure, I'll meditate every day and I'll do the casserole packs,” or whatever. But where are you working on you? Where are you forgiving yourself, forgiving your body? Really, actually, even first of all, being honest with the fact that you're fucking pissed at your body and you hate it right now.

Aimee:

My friend Nat posted this morning, infertility has changed me and I hate it. It's let's first, just be honest with that. And then that's when we can really start to change and shift and to just be able to say that. I feel you saying that and just holding space for that just helps so many women heal because that is the truth. We're in a constant battle every time you bleed, when you don't think you're supposed to. Or you ovulate when you don't think you're supposed to. Or you get a negative pregnancy test is just another reason to go to town on yourself and your body and all the ways in which it's failing you.

Samantha:

Yeah. I find one of the things that I have learned in that might be the psychologist in me, or just the intuition that I have. Is the worst thing you can do when you're angry is push it down and ignore it. What you want to do is let it rise up, accept it, embrace it because then you give it permission to move on.

Aimee:

It has to transform. We see that in Chinese medicine too, the more you push down, it becomes like a compost pile begins to smolder. And then the heat burns you up from the inside. That is not a breeding ground for fertility or for creation or for babies or anything like that. So it is and a lot of the spiritual work same it's… I talk about it in body belief, too. You got to acknowledge first, then begin to shift the thought. But if you don't acknowledge it and it's really just that thing of, you just have to be really honest with yourself. That's for me and the way I teach and all the programs to me, it's like, that's the piece that I really get into with my girls and enjoy. I love that part. I love that conversation. That's missing from a lot of the conversations.

Aimee:

There are a lot of things you can do to manage estrogen dominance or to boost progesterone or to improve eye quality. We address all those too, but we have to talk about the emotional component and until we do it will not shift. It's just still why I still always quote you, to this day of like, what you did was you made this peace with yourself, with your body, with your life, and then isn't it amazing. Then poof here comes the baby. Do you know what I mean? She was prepared, her body was prepared and she was doing her broth and her liver and all her stuff. Absolutely. And when I remember when you saw Hyman and he made some adjustments, but it was really into the way your diet was and all those things. I loved that because it made me feel good. I was like, “All right. We're doing right stuff.”

Samantha:

Oh yeah. I mean, he was right on the same page with you with the full aid and everything. The one thing that I would say, because I know we're running low on time, is I also had Billy do everything. So I overhauled our home and I overhauled the water we drank and I overhauled the products he used because even though he was tested and he was fine, I just thought, “Well, we can always improve it. We can always make it better.”

Aimee:

That is huge too. I've had so many questions this week of like, “What about sperm health? What about this? I have male factor.” It's like, this course, you can just take it all and [crosstalk 00:28:21] it the house.

Samantha:

100%.

Aimee:

The whole house transforms. That's how we do it. I mean, my husband can sneak his Degree deodorant when he needs to and is his crest toothpaste and that's fine. I'm like, “Whatever.” But his food and everything, I manage that and we have to make water as he says, because our perky filter. I'm like, “I don't care. That's how it works in this house and you'll thank me for it in 40 years or.” You know what I mean? The health of your child is an expression of that. So just do it. But you will transform their health as well when you take on and even the mindset stuff, because when you work on you, the people around you begin to shift. It's just how it happens. It's just the energy and the frequency completely shifts in you and your interaction in the world shifts and the people around you shift. So to know that, even if your partner, isn't a 100% diving in with you, that all of these changes will impact that.

Samantha:

Yeah. The periphery for sure. The course, really for anybody on the fence or thinking about it's such a game changer because I'm one of those people who I need to have resources. I need to have these things. And even if you're somebody that maybe won't be engaged in the group so much, but you want the resources to follow along when you need it. See, I'm a big believer of, sometimes it can hit you at midnight, it can hit you in the middle of the day where all of a sudden you have this aching desire to learn more about A, B or C. When it comes to fertility Aimee's course covers all of it and you'll just have it and you'll just have access to it. It's so helpful.

Aimee:

Oh, thank you. Okay. So I have another student who's going to join me right now. Sam, why don't you for anybody… Because I feel there's a lot of girls that are resonating with you so much. Just give us your website, a little old promo because you have grown such a [crosstalk 00:30:16]-

Samantha:

Yeah. The website is being relaunched. It'll be ready next week. So it's my last name. I'll hop into the messaging.

Aimee:

Yeah, do that.

Samantha:

But it's drhiotakis.com and the website's relaunching next week with a little different.

Aimee:

But even your Instagram, I love your Instagram post. What's your handle on Instagram.

Samantha:

@DrHiotakis.

Aimee:

Okay. Yeah. H-I-O-T-A-K-I-S.

Samantha:

I'll hop into the message.

Aimee:

Yeah, hop in and do that, because she is great to follow. Yeah. I love the work you're doing. It's so great, sweetie.

Samantha:

Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I send you all a lot of love.

Aimee:

Thank you. Love. Okay.

Samantha:

Thank you.

Aimee:

I'll talk to you very soon.

Samantha:

Bye.

Aimee:

Okay. And then I'll be on with you guys in three seconds with Maria. Okay. Bye. My love.

Samantha:

Bye.

This Could Be YOUR Story Too

I have learned SO much over my 16 years of clinical practice helping thousands of women achieve their dreams of motherhood. If you are ready to take back your power over your health and make the diet & lifestyle changes to transform YOUR fertility, I can help you! In addition to my acupuncture & wellness services in my clinics, I offer private online coaching, so you can work with me from the comfort of your own home

You can also look around my website to learn more about my books, my online workshops and guides, my Ultimate Fertility Membership and my amazing Yes, You Can Get Pregnant Ecourse. I look forward to guiding you to reawakened health and thriving fertility!