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Story of Hope: 3 losses and told donor egg was her only option

I have another BRAND NEW Story of Hope for you! She got pregnant NATURALLY defying all the odds!

SEE THE FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW.

Aimee:

Hello everyone. How are you today? I am here and not at all at 100% so be patient with me if I speak slowly or am over emotional, but I’m excited to come back to you live. I got hit with a pretty bad virus the last couple days, as far as we know, it is not COVID, I’ve tested four times. But anyway, we are going to do a story of hope live with one of my amazing clients, and she’s going to share her beautiful story. Then I’m also going to give away two scholarships. So hang out until the end. And then I will announce scholarship winners. You guys have to be active and engage in today’s live in order to get chosen for the scholarships.

Aimee:

So let me just see. Caitlyn, is there a button where you can request to join me live? You have to be on your phone, not your computer too, just an FYI. Interesting thing we’ve learned this week. So, because I don’t see the option to add you live. Let’s see. Let’s see. Let me try. Send request cha cha cha. Let’s see if that worked. Oh, let’s see. Okay. You asked me. Oh and you joined. There we go.

Caitlyn:

Hi.

Aimee:

Hi. Your hair’s long, it looks so pretty.

Caitlyn:

Its really long.

Aimee:

How are you?

Caitlyn:

I’m great. How are you?

Aimee:

I’m okay. I’m okay. I have a bit of a cold. And I can’t hear my volume very well. Let me see where my headphones are. So odd. My volume sounds off, but let me, oh, I’m going to make this work just as is. Hi. How’s baby Willow.

Caitlyn:

She’s great. She started walking this weekend. So she’s full on.

Aimee:

She’s in it, in the mess. Yeah. I love it. I love it.

Caitlyn:

Really good.

Aimee:

And so why don’t you introduce yourself and share a bit of your story so everyone can learn and listen.

Caitlyn:

Sure, happy to. Hi, I’m Caitlin, very grateful patient of Aimee’s, and I came to you after having encountered challenges on a secondary infertility level. So I have an amazing five and a half year old Natalie, who was born in 2016. And we had a little bit of a hard time conceiving her. I found out that I had PCOS, which is not something that I’d ever been diagnosed with previously, and had to make some real lifestyle changes, dietary changes, I started doing acupuncture. And once I committed to those changes, it was no problem.

Caitlyn:

So when we were going for number two, starting in about the Fall of 2017, I anticipated that it would be a similar journey, not super easy, but I felt like I know what this means for me. I know what it’s going to take. And instead it was wildly different where I ended up getting pregnant pretty easily, but lost that pregnancy, and then continued to have that experience multiple times. So after three losses, my OBGYN said, “Enough is enough, this is no longer a thing that happens. The bad luck. This is real.” So we went to a reproductive endocrinologist who assessed me pretty quickly.

Aimee:

I remember this.

Caitlyn:

And told me right away-

Aimee:

Not our favorite person.

Caitlyn:

Not our favorite person, no. Told me that, if he had been judging my age based on what he was seeing in an ultrasound that he would’ve guessed I was 10 years older, and that the time was now, and that it was IVF or nothing. I trusted because what else do you do?

Aimee:

Yeah. You’re at an expert. You would trust the expert opinion.

Caitlyn:

Exactly. So we jumped into IVF and did around that Fall, it was Fall I guess of 2018, and nothing made it even to blast assist. I had totally fine numbers and I didn’t have any reason to think that IVF wouldn’t be our path, that this wouldn’t solve it. And we had nothing even survive to blast assist. So we tried again, a different protocol this time, and the exact same results. And I was devastated. I was totally fine with a journey being hard, but I wasn’t okay with it not being ending the way that we envision with adding to our family.

Caitlyn:

So I walked away from him and was led to you, which was really an amazing experience. I think you really validated for me that I should trust that I had this instinct that I could do this, that my body had successfully done this before. And I think you also made me feel not crazy questioning some of the things that were said to me, the lack of information shared with me during that whole IVF process. And I really had my eyes open to just how much information there is, the information overload, and in a lot of ways that stuff gets shielded from patients. So I think that was the moment where I decided to really get as educated as I could.

Aimee:

Yeah. You really stepped into your power. We adjusted your diet some and you were already doing a lot of the things. It wasn’t that much of an adjustment for you, but I think emotionally you really needed the support like you said, to not feel crazy like, “Is this possible? Can I actually do this? This guy told me donor eggs was my only option.?

Caitlyn:

Yeah, exactly. So after our second round this doctor had said to me, “You will never do this with your eggs. I can tell you, I guarantee you, you will never do this with your eggs. We need to start talking donor.” And that just wasn’t right to me. And I think the other thing that I was simultaneously trying to trust myself on my gut instincts around my ability to do this again, but then also weighing all of the complicated stuff around the fact that I already had a daughter. And that’s hard too. There’s a lot of guilt around the time I was spending on this process and what that meant for time away from her. And then also guilt when you see others who aren’t lucky enough to even have one. And here I was-

Aimee:

You carried that so much. It just that’s your soul, you’re so tender. But yeah, you did, you carried that.

Caitlyn:

It was a lot, but funnily enough, when you and I met, I happened to get pregnant again naturally.

Aimee:

Very soon. You came in and you were like, “So I’m pregnant.” It was that whole progesterone catastrophe, remember?

Caitlyn:

Yes I do.

Aimee:

If we want to go into that, we don’t really have to. I was like, “Someone has to get you on progesterone.” Her gynecologist gave her one pessary, that’s how you say it. One day of progesterone or something like that? You remember, you were traveling.

Caitlyn:

I didn’t even get anything. I couldn’t get a prescription to go get my progesterone tested anywhere.

Aimee:

That’s what it was.

Caitlyn:

And it’s not a test that you can walk in. You need to have a prescription done.

Aimee:

And then you miscarried that.

Caitlyn:

I miscarried that pregnancy also. But that’s when-

Aimee:

That’s when I basically was like, “You have to go see Dr. Scher and that’s that.

Caitlyn:

Yeah. So I started seeing Dr. Jonathan Scher. For anyone in New York, tri-state area, he is amazing. But he’s like a detective and did all of his testing and discovered all of these things, which by the way you predicted he would find some underlying autoimmune issues, blood clotting factors that don’t really have an impact on my daily life. I don’t have any symptoms that would point me there, but it was-

Aimee:

And chances are they got triggered by the first pregnancy because that’s typically what happens. A pregnancy can trigger an autoimmune condition in a woman because it’s such an immune challenge. Pregnancy is, it’s one of the biggest immune challenges that we actually go through. And so in a lot of women it’ll trigger that.

Caitlyn:

Yeah. So we did a couple of months with him of just messing with finding of medications and the right combination of things. But pretty much everything was either over the counter-

Aimee:

And he felt the same way, you do not need IVF. Remember? He was like, same thing, “No IVF for you.”

Caitlyn:

And he also really affirmed that my gut instincts were dead on in terms of the things this RA was saying to me were not actually backed by information. It was all very much-

Aimee:

Based on your lack of success at this point, that’s what it was.

Caitlyn:

Exactly. That I don’t have-

Aimee:

You don’t have good eggs left basically. Because they’ve all gone bad and good luck.

Caitlyn:

Yeah. And that wasn’t the case. So three months in I was pregnant and it stuck.

Aimee:

It stuck. It was amazing. So Jonathan Scher is the doctor’s name, someone asked. Oh, and some people might find this maybe not super medically professional, but I thought it was, I still tell the story, I think it was so sweet, when you got to the heartbeat, and he touched your leg. He was like, “We did it.” He got so emotional with you.

Caitlyn:

I had gone through four losses prior to this and I’d had so many situations where we discovered that the pregnancy was failing because I went in for an ultrasound and it was an empty sack situation. So I was just panicked about, I needed to see this on screen, I needed to hear that heartbeat, needed to see that something was growing. So he saw me really early and he saw all the right signs. We saw a fetal pole and a [inaudible 00:11:02] sack, and all of that looked really great. And then a couple weeks later we went in to hear a heartbeat and he got so emotional, it’s going to sound creepy, but he like kissed my leg and he was just like, “We did it.”

Aimee:

Your parents were in the room, weren’t they? It was very lovey.

Caitlyn:

I was in the room alone at first. I didn’t want them to be there for some reason it was not great. But he looked at me and he was like, “We did it. This baby is sticking.” And he’s like, “I know it. I know it from now. This is it. This is your baby.” And he called my parents in, and he showed them, and he walked them through everything they were seeing on the screen. And it was just magical, it just felt like this was supposed to be how it was, that he was that person who was supposed to help me get there. And he was that excited for every appointment and it was really great.

Aimee:

Yeah. So amazing. So I guess, share with everyone too, of during that time when you were having the losses, and going through IVF, and getting such new negative news. I don’t know, what would be your advice to people that are there now?

Caitlyn:

I think my biggest advice would be to actually feel it and not shove it under the rug. I definitely had times where I think I tried just to carry on and then it would creep up on me, it would creep up on me afterwards in really tough ways or unexpected ways. And I wish that I had just allowed myself to feel it, allowed myself to [inaudible 00:12:48] it a little bit. I also think it’s really helpful to find someone who you can talk to about it outside of your partner, outside of even your family, because you might need a little bit of objectivity. Or someone who you can just say, “I just need you to listen.” And then also finding others who are in it too. I did end up finding a couple of people who had really similar experiences. Even some people who we went to the same clinic and had similarly rocky roads. But finding those people goes-

Aimee:

Yeah. That was validating to be like, “Okay, so I’m not the only crazy one, I’m not the only one who’s been told that this isn’t going to work for me. And here I am.” I had a live with a girl earlier in the week, similar clinic, and they gave her a 1% chance, 1% at the age of 38 or 39. And then at 40, 44, she made healthy embryos and gave birth right before 45.

Caitlyn:

I know. And it’s not to say that, IVF is an amazing option, it’s an amazing science, and for a lot of people it is the answer. But my husband often jokes that a lot of these doctors it’s like when you’re holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Aimee:

Yeah, 100%.

Caitlyn:

So you have to find the people and make sure you feel good about, that’s a recommendation because of X, Y, Z. And that’s the thing that I think I had to learn is a little bit of self advocacy in that.

Aimee:

Yeah. And then what about diet and lifestyle? You pretty much stuck to the whole plan in pregnancy too if I remember.

Caitlyn:

I did. Well I think I just figured that if I needed to make some diet changes for the first one, and then also I believe that it played a really big part for the second one. Clearly there’s something about my body that just works better while making those changes. So yeah, I stuck with it and I pretty much to this day still follow the same general plan. I ended up having gestational diabetes, which was frustrating after having gone through all of that.

Aimee:

Yeah, after how clean you ate. But that’s also a sign. The PCOS, it’s pretty common that it’s going to kick in, but it’s also a sign of the autoimmunity. Sometimes in women with autoimmunity it’s just hard. You could have perfect diet and it’d be impossible to manage.

Caitlyn:

Exactly. And that’s a lot of what my OBGYN and that team were saying to me is, “This is actually not about what you’re eating, which everyone would lead you to believe that it is, but this is just how your body is processing [inaudible 00:15:39] hormones.

Aimee:

Is how it’s reacting to the pregnancy.

Caitlyn:

But I have to say it was a pretty amazing pregnancy otherwise. And I think taking really good care of myself in the lead up had a lot to do with it. I found out I was pregnant in January 2020, so it was a pandemic pregnancy, which was wild, but in a lot of ways, pretty great. I normally commute into Manhattan from New Jersey and it was pretty great to not have to do that while pregnant, especially in a pregnancy that I was protective of and had a little concern around. There was a real silver lining to-

Aimee:

Yeah, I think I got to see you once in the pregnancy. You came into the Nyack office. I remember that. Yeah. You were very pregnant.

Caitlyn:

[inaudible 00:16:30] that part of it that was really great and that I’m grateful for.

Aimee:

Yeah. Oh, I know. Well, this was so lovely. So I think the big things is like advocating for yourself, finding the right team, and getting support outside your immediate circle of loved ones. So it’s like bringing someone like me on your team, or you were a part of some of the online groups and that was really helpful for you, and just like you said, a sense of, I always say sharing lifts the shame, where it’s like, “Okay, I’m not alone in this, I’m not insane, I’m not crazy, the doctor made me feel like I’m crazy.” There was a lot of healing around that piece for you too. I even remember when you saw Scher and you were like, “He says he thinks I can do it on my own too. You still think that?” And I’m like, “I still think that, I do.” And I think the first cycle on all the meds and stuff, you didn’t get pregnant, we were pretty upset, I do remember that. But then the next cycle it all worked out didn’t it.

Caitlyn:

Yeah, definitely. And I think it’s also a thing around, which is probably the hardest, how do you find the happy medium of advocating for yourself and taking on some of the changes and things that you need to make, and that you will feel better if you feel like you are participating in the success, but then also not beating yourself up because there’s a whole lot of this is just not controllable.

Aimee:

Yeah. There’s a whole lot of things you could be doing. I’ve been saying a lot lately because over the Summer I had two weeks off, so I took advantage of the time and I literally bought and read every single Amazon bestseller in the fertility space, 20 books, two of them are mine, which is a compliment. But I’d say almost 70%, or 60% maybe I’ll say, are written by people who are educated, they’re definitely educated, they’ve definitely done their research, but they are not clinicians, they actually, aren’t seeing patients day in and day out.

Aimee:

And I really respect the advice and the information in those books, but it can be really overwhelming because when you are in a clinical setting you can see like, “Oh, Caitlin doesn’t do well on 600 CoQ10, she does better on 400.” Or, “She doesn’t need the DHEA because whatever it is.” And I think that piece too is just so overwhelming for all the women out there of who do you trust, where do you go, and how do you put it all together for yourself?

Caitlyn:

Yeah. It’s so overwhelming. And it’s easy to find conflicting stuff. And it’s also easy to hear the miracle stories, which are amazing and inspiring, but then also become, I think, sometimes problematic.

Aimee:

Yeah. Because then you’re like, “What’s wrong with me? It worked for her, what’s wrong with me?” You start to feel so left out. I know.

Caitlyn:

Yeah, totally. So I don’t know, my whole thing is I’ve just tried to be really honest and candid with the people in my life and even more broadly in my life around what I went through.

Aimee:

I think it’s so important. How many times then when you share too, did people come out and share their own stories?

Caitlyn:

Oh 100%.

Aimee:

And then it’s like that again, same thing of feeling less alone, and less alone, and less alone. I know. It’s like the diet and the supplements are one piece, and then there’s this huge mental, emotional piece that there’s a big void there.

Caitlyn:

Yeah, for sure.

Aimee:

Yeah. Well, thank you my love.

Caitlyn:

But now I’ve got my two girls.

Aimee:

I know. That’s what you wanted. You got them.

Caitlyn:

Yeah. So it’s all good.

Aimee:

I know. I’m happy for you.

Caitlyn:

Thank you for [inaudible 00:20:30].

Aimee:

Oh, you’re welcome. Happy to be a part of it. I knew we would get there. I hate seeing people so crushed by the system, in a sense, that’s shitty and annoying.

Caitlyn:

Gosh, that’s how it feels though, it feels [inaudible 00:20:48].

Aimee:

But we navigated, we got you to the right doctor, that’s the favorite part of my job of like, “This is the person for you. No, this is the person for you. Leave that doctor.” Well, everything is overwhelming, yes, to hear that. I’m not the only one because it does feel like I’m the only one who has a problem. Very relatable. Everybody relates so much. All right. I know you have to go. I know you have a hard stop so I can let you go. I’m going to give away two scholarships to my Yes You Can Get Pregnant E course. So you don’t have to stick around for that if you don’t want to.

Caitlyn:

Okay. Bye Aimee, thank you.

Aimee:

You’re welcome my love.

Caitlyn:

Love you, it’s so wonderful to have found you.

Aimee:

I feel the same. I feel the same. I, like I was said, was not feeling well this morning. My team’s like, “Do you want to reschedule everything?” I was like, “I have to do this with Caitlyn. I just want to see her too. Her long hair. She’s always dressed so lovely.” All right. You can X yourself out and then I’m going to stay on and give away some scholarships guys and love you, keep me posted on everything, okay? Goodbye.

Aimee:

Yeah, when you’re holding a hammer everything looks like a nail. And that’s so funny. Okay guys, so I want to give away two scholarships because I missed scholarship giveaway yesterday and I’m running out of energy ASAP. So what you need to do is start commenting on the post and I’ll see who’s still active and present and who wants to win a scholarship to my Yes You Can Get Pregnant E course, which enrollment closes today at 11:59 PM Eastern time.

Aimee:

I revamp the course every year, this year I’ve revamped it so much I’m actually going to teach it live. I’m super psyched, classes start on Thursday. You don’t have to attend live, everything’s recorded. We have weekly Q and A’s that will be happening in our private online community where you’re also going to get an incredible amount of support from women just like you so you will feel less alone and more supported. We never kick you out of the group, you can be in the group as long as it takes you to make this baby. Once you are pregnant, we move you to the new mama group. You get an incredible amount of bonuses. Head over to my website, Aimeerock.com/yes to see what the program is all about. We only open it for enrollment once a year. So you want to take advantage and get in now.

Aimee:

And let’s just see. Okay. I do. I do. Let’s see. Eight years of trying, zero pregnancies. I want to read everybody’s before I choose because I just think that’s fair. Dr. Luke. Hi. Nice to see you. She was so inspiring, kept at it and found the right team love this live. Would love the scholarship to figure this out after four losses. Okay. Jen Miles. You’re going to win a scholarship. Just message us, DM us, and we’re going to set it up for you. So Jen Miles you get one. And let’s see, let’s see, let’s see. Oh, you guys are so cute. My God. It’s so hard to pick. Unexplained, would love to find the right team. I’m at the end of my hope. Okay. Facing Destiny 1922 you get the other scholarship. Okay. So there we go. I started body belief, I’m so amazed by everything you were teaching us. Oh, well thank. I’m following every day.

Aimee:

Okay. I feel bad. I always feel bad when I don’t pick everyone. It’s such a hard thing for me. But if you did fill out the scholarship application, please check your inbox because you do have very happy discount to the course. And what else? Enrollment’s going to close tonight and they’ll see the scholarship winners in there. We did open up a seven payment plan, so for those of you that financially it’s a challenge it’s $227 a month for seven months. So I hope that that’s feasible. I’ve made it less than most car payments intentionally.

Aimee:

Yeah. Join us. You won’t ever regret it. Go read the testimonials on the website, every single woman the number one thing they say is it’s a big investment, it’s the best thing I ever done for my myself. Big investment, best thing I’ve ever done for myself. They make friends, best friends, they get weekly support from me, they get 24/7 support from each other. Again, a secret online community, no one will ever know you’re a member of it. And it’s not on Facebook as of this year. And again, I’m going to be teaching it live this year because like I just said to Caitlyn, I’ve read all the current fertility books out there and I really want to help you decipher what’s real, what’s clinically relevant, and what could potentially actually hurt you or harm you, and why you need a solid clinician on your team who not just can do the mental, spiritual, emotional work too.

Aimee:

I’m very savvy in all of that. I’ve written books on the topic. I myself have evolved tremendously over the last two decades of my own life. But I have a biology and chemistry degree. I’m working on a degree in functional medicine. I am a Chinese acupuncturist and herbalist. I teach other acupuncturists and herbalist at the doctorate level. I speak to other professionals in my group on a regular basis. If a professional is the one having a hard time getting pregnant, they come to me. So yeah, let be the one to support you. Okay.

Aimee:

You can get all of Aimee’s pregnancy recs and her pregnancy new mama guide. That’s right. Is there any discounts still available? I missed the day for sending the request for scholarship. I’ll let my team answer that. And I’m going to go guys, because I’m going to go lay down again, but I love you get in for enrollment. Again, it’s going to close in nine hours. Is that right? 12:59, 10 hours? I can’t even do math right now, is that how terrible? At 11:59 PM Eastern time, the doors will close for an entire year and you won’t be able to get in again. If you want me guiding you on your case and you want weekly support from this brain, and by the way you guys, once you’re in the group, you get discounts to everything else I put out, you are the first to know.

Aimee:

You can ask the girls, egg quality diet, they were the first to see that book. You are the first in on anything else I create and I am a creation junkie so you are always hip to the latest and greatest research and information that I come across. This is not a stingy group. Again, I don’t ever kick you out. Many of the programs end and your Facebook or your online community disappears. That is not how this works. People see the value of my weekly Q and A’s as one of the most valuable pieces of the course. I have girls that are still in the program coming back to have baby number two. We again, never kick you out. Okay. Love you guys. See you …

END TRANSCRIPT.

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